# I hope your baby burns her eyes out **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551 "2010-04-01T09:21:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/222 "2010-04-04T20:21:09Z")
> [@Cap\_n\_Zig\_Zag](#): > > Am I the only one whos dear old granny put hot sauce on the wee ones binky to soothe teething pain? Yes. Everyone else’s granny used whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/223 "2010-04-04T20:40:34Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Liberace played him on the 1960s Batman TV show. There are going to do a 2012 remake of that, played by Ricky Martin. It will be Batman vs the Purloiner of Peppers and his Habbanero Henchmen. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/224 "2010-04-04T20:42:07Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > You know, several people in this thread claimed that the were going to use the phrase “like taking Tabasco from a baby,” but we haven’t heard any anecdotes of the results. Frankly, I’m disappointed with the progress. If I’m going to be the point of origin of an internet meme, we have to get cracking. Well duh… When they tried using that phrase…well…it went over just like taking Tabasco from a baby dont cha know… ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/225 "2010-04-05T01:34:49Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Yes. Everyone else’s granny used whiskey. Really. WTH? Tabasco to soothe pain? Whiskey is where it’s at. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/226 "2010-04-05T06:16:39Z")
That baby’s a pretty cool guy. eh grabs the tabasco and doesn’t let go or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/227 "2010-04-05T06:35:13Z")
So if you see a baby with tabasco sauce and you can’t do anything to stop them hurting themselves, do you shoot them first or fire a warning shot to let them know you’re serious? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/228 "2010-04-05T16:20:33Z")
> [@Cap\_n\_Zig\_Zag](#): > > Am I the only one whos dear old granny put hot sauce on the wee ones binky to soothe teething pain? I really hope that’s not a cutesy word for “penis.” > [@Isamu](#): > > So if you see a baby with tabasco sauce and you can’t do anything to stop them hurting themselves, do you shoot them first or fire a warning shot to let them know you’re serious? I punch ‘em in the chest. But first I kneel down to their level, so I’m not so intimidating. Also, it makes the punchin’ easier. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/229 "2010-04-05T16:29:34Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I really hope that’s not a cutesy word for “penis.” Nah, binky means pacifier. Or, well, [this](http://pbskids.org/arthur/friends/images/rollovers/binky_home.gif) if you grew up in the 90s. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/230 "2010-04-05T16:31:20Z")
Hey, quick Q. Is this not the best thread title you’ve seen in a while? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/231 "2010-04-05T16:38:22Z")
“Yes,” he replied, ambiguously. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/232 "2010-04-05T16:39:57Z")
> [@Cap\_n\_Zig\_Zag](#): > > Am I the only one whos dear old granny put hot sauce on the wee ones binky to soothe teething pain? > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I really hope that’s not a cutesy word for “penis.” > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Nah, binky means pacifier. And if you don’t like that explanation you can suck my dear old granny. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/233 "2010-04-05T18:45:22Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I disagree. > > And in any case, my point was that the guy should have spoken to me, not to the kid. Even if I am a terrible parent whose kids are going to end up being murderous rapscallions as they grow up, the guy should have spoken to me, not to my kid–or anyway, he could speak to my kid, but not grab him and speak loudly an inch away from his face. Correct? Nope. Had I been the casual observer, I would have assumed that you were both deaf and blind because you had not corrected your child from jumping on a couch in a public place. I, too, would have performed the public service (for everyone _else_ in the waiting room) of correcting your kid for you. You were obviously not going to do it yourself. [/sarcasm] IMO, nobody should have _had_ to say anything to you. You should have stopped your kid from misbehaving in public in the first place. Kid jumping on couch = totally on you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/234 "2010-04-05T21:26:25Z")
Let’s be fair: it’s not **Frylock** ’s fault if his kid is really, \*really \*in love with Katie Holmes. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/235 "2010-04-05T23:56:25Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Nope. > > Had I been the casual observer, I would have assumed that you were both deaf and blind because you had not corrected your child from jumping on a couch in a public place. I, too, would have performed the public service (for everyone _else_ in the waiting room) of correcting your kid for you. You were obviously not going to do it yourself. > > [/sarcasm] The sarcasm tag confused me as to your intent, so I’ll just say: When you don’t like what a kid is doing, please talk to the parents if they’re around, and please don’t touch the kid. > [@](#): > > IMO, nobody should have _had_ to say anything to you. You should have stopped your kid from misbehaving in public in the first place. Kid jumping on couch = totally on you. The kid wasn’t misbehaving in public. I know I know! ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/236 "2010-04-05T23:57:28Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Let’s be fair: it’s not **Frylock** ’s fault if his kid is really, \*really \*in love with Katie Holmes. Are you insinuating infidelity? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/237 "2010-04-05T23:59:27Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > The sarcasm tag confused me as to your intent, so I’ll just say: When you don’t like what a kid is doing, please talk to the parents if they’re around, and please don’t touch the kid. I don’t _want_ to touch your kid. I don’t know where it’s been. > [@Frylock](#): > > The kid wasn’t misbehaving in public. > > I know I know! Yeah yeah, you owned the office, the couch, and even the dude who grabbed your kid’s arm. He’s your slave, sold to you in excange for a broken bottle of tabasco sauce. We know the drill. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/238 "2010-04-06T00:01:36Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Yeah yeah, you owned the office, the couch, and even the dude who grabbed your kid’s arm. He’s your slave, sold to you in exchange for a broken bottle of tabasco sauce. We know the drill. Actually it was me jumping on the couch. And the old guy was, in fact, Sir Ian McKellan. (Kiddo was mainlining the tobasco, which didn’t seem to bother Sir Ian at all.) Don’t you all feel like douches now? ETA: I didn’t own the couch and room so much as I _pwned_ them. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/239 "2010-04-06T04:44:49Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Nope. > > Had I been the casual observer, I would have assumed that you were both deaf and blind because you had not corrected your child from jumping on a couch in a public place. I, too, would have performed the public service (for everyone _else_ in the waiting room) of correcting your kid for you. You were obviously not going to do it yourself. > > [/sarcasm] > IMO, nobody should have _had_ to say anything to you. You should have stopped your kid from misbehaving in public in the first place. Kid jumping on couch = totally on you. A-muthafuckin’-MEN! ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/240 "2010-04-06T04:45:57Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > The kid wasn’t misbehaving in public. Horseshit. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/241 "2010-04-06T12:51:08Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Let’s be fair: it’s not **Frylock** ’s fault if his kid is really, \*really \*in love with Katie Holmes. Yeah, but he’s creeping Oprah out. And she’s friends with fucking Dr. Phil, so that should give you some idea of what a challenge that is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=13)