# I hope your baby burns her eyes out **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551 "2010-04-01T09:21:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/342 "2015-04-28T15:05:42Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > There weren’t assumptions, you described the situation pretty much exactly the way people were picturing it. Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. I’m not going to read the whole thread again but to my recollection, I made two, count them, two factual assertions: 1. My kid was jumping on a couch. 2. It was reasonable for me to allow it. Both of these things were true, and any thought anyone had which made them seem incompatible with each other could only be had by way of some _assumption_ or other. Any such assumption displayed the vice of _lack of charity_. To display that vice is to be a jerk. I don’t justify myself to jerks. Hence the tenor of my posts here. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/343 "2015-04-28T15:08:10Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > bolding mine. > > Is that when you tard subroutine kicked in? > > You might want to fix that. > > I mean seriously that is so stupid. > > I’ll talk about how I did something that’s looks unreasonable to any normal person. But I won’t explain WHY it WAS reasonable in those circumstances. > > WTF does that prove? That things aren’t always as they appear? Well, colored me surprised. If you’re interested in an answer to the question you’re asking, read the thread, in which I explain what the answer is to the question you’re asking. A very brief version of it is in the post I just made in response to **Sarahfeena**. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/344 "2015-04-28T15:32:34Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Is that when you **tard** subroutine kicked in? Please be more specific. Are you talking about mus- cus- leo- pe- ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/345 "2015-04-28T15:41:15Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. > > I’m not going to read the whole thread again but to my recollection, I made two, count them, two factual assertions: > > 1. My kid was jumping on a couch. > > 2. It was reasonable for me to allow it. > > Both of these things were true, and any thought anyone had which made them seem incompatible with each other could only be had by way of some _assumption_ or other. > > Any such assumption displayed the vice of _lack of charity_. To display that vice is to be a jerk. I don’t justify myself to jerks. Hence the tenor of my posts here. You don’t understand the role of implications in how people form assumptions. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/346 "2015-04-28T15:52:56Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > You get me. It is my superior-to-your intuitive genius that allows me to do so, if I may in all humility say. Your plebeian manner of communicating does make it a challenge! ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/347 "2015-04-28T16:00:49Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > You don’t understand the role of implications in how people form assumptions. What you’re looking for is the concept of conversational pragmatics (specifically, conversational implicature). I know a little something about it. That certain assumptions are often made, even if they are made predictably, does not make those assumptions any less of an indicator of vice. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/348 "2015-04-28T16:09:20Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > It is my superior-to-your intuitive genius that allows me to do so, if I may in all humility say. Your plebeian manner of communicating does make it a challenge! You may in all humility say whatever you wish. I’ll be sure to misunderstand you as astutely as my plebeian manner will allow. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/349 "2015-04-28T16:32:18Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > What you’re looking for is the concept of conversational pragmatics (specifically, conversational implicature). I know a little something about it. That certain assumptions are often made, even if they are made predictably, does not make those assumptions any less of an indicator of vice. This feels like a nice example of “Those who can’t do, teach.” ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/350 "2015-04-28T16:55:13Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Hmm. Interesting thread which I wouldn’t have seen without Fenris’s obvious ineptitude…thanks, man. I but live to serve. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/351 "2015-04-28T17:07:24Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > That certain assumptions are often made, even if they are made predictably, does not make those assumptions any less of an indicator of vice. He’s right, folks. Classically, the Seven Deadly Vices of Mankind are: Lust Gluttony Greed Making Assumptions Based on the Unclear Words Other People Wrote Wrath Envy Pride It’s _right there_ IN the Bible! _Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians_! Look it up! And Dante has it in his _Inferno_, The “Making Assumptions” one is in the 7th Ciricle, between the Outer (Violent People-Atilla the Hun, Mike Tyson; Immersed in Boiling Blood) and Middle (Suicides–turned into trees and torn apart and poo’d on by Harpies) On the border between the two, is the vice of Making Assumptions Based on the Unclear Words Other People Wrote where people who do this are strapped to tables and have molten tar poured into their ears and molten sulfur poured into their eyes. (They grow back). ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/352 "2015-04-28T17:13:57Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Both of these things were true, and any thought anyone had which made them seem incompatible with each other could only be had by way of some _assumption_ or other. > > Any such assumption displayed the vice of _lack of charity_. To display that vice is to be a jerk. He’s right again. “Lack of charity in assuming that someone means what they wrote” was a 4th Century Deadly Sin added by the monk Evagrius Ponticus. Dante put those people with Hoarders and Wasters up in the Second Circle. Hoarders and Wasters would roll those boulder-sized diamonds over the toes of people who show “Lack of charity in assuming that someone means what they wrote”. Then the Hoarders and Wasters would point and laugh at the Uncharitable Assumers, causing their feelings to get hurt. This is Divine Justice at it’s best! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/353 "2015-04-28T17:27:37Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > And I kind of wondered if I was being one of _those_ parents. All parents are those parents at one time or another. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/354 "2015-04-28T18:21:44Z")
I was curious why this thread was bumped. I still have no idea what is going on but what if we grew our beef in vats? Also, you’re getting off track, this thread was about Tabasco related child endangerment, not Frylock’s beef. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/355 "2015-04-28T18:46:41Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Also, you’re getting off track, this thread was about Tabasco related child endangerment, not Frylock’s beef. You are locking the horse in after the barn door is gone. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/356 "2015-04-28T19:06:16Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Hmm. Interesting thread which I wouldn’t have seen without Fenris’s obvious ineptitude…thanks, man. Fenris is Legendary for mucking things up. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/357 "2015-04-28T19:49:50Z")
But what about the toddler with the Tabasco and the crazy parents? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/358 "2015-04-28T20:01:12Z")
Tabasco [sup] ™ [/sup] doesn’t burn baby eyes, parents burn baby eyes. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/359 "2015-04-28T20:38:45Z")
It’s FIVE YEARS later! Has the Tabasco Kid murdered her psycho parents with a dull axe yet? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/360 "2015-04-28T20:53:32Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > But hey, at least you now recognize that your desire to eat beef results in cows being killed. You got that going for you. Who said Philosophy had no application in the real word? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/361 "2015-04-28T21:09:33Z")
So in other words, “I wasn’t actually allowing him to jump on said couch so much as I had other, more important things to worry about right that second. Otherwise, I would’ve told him to knock it off.” (At least, I hope so.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=19)