# I hope your baby burns her eyes out **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551 "2010-04-01T09:21:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/101 "2010-04-01T18:34:28Z")
I hope you don’t let those people stop you from doing the right thing. The parents are stupid for sure but I’d rather put up with some jackoffs threats than see a child get hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/102 "2010-04-01T18:44:25Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > This post cracks me up. You’re doing virtually the same thing the OP was pitting: making a value judgment about someone without knowing the whole story. The really funny part is that you’ll probably argue with me about how this is totally different. Ok. Nope, not gonna argue. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/103 "2010-04-01T18:45:06Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > This post cracks me up. You’re doing virtually the same thing the OP was pitting: making a value judgment about someone without knowing the whole story. The really funny part is that you’ll probably argue with me about how this is totally different. I guess I don’t get this take on things. This is the Snuggly Kitten Forum - if you don’t want to be judged by what you post, then don’t post it. I haven’t been here all that long, but it didn’t take me long to figure out that if I open my mouth and something stupid comes out - I will be called on it by everyone. I am honestly not sure why anyone would be surprised by this. ETA: Love the name change - this should stay the Snuggly Kitten forum! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/104 "2010-04-01T18:49:07Z")
> [@Minnie\_Luna](#): > > The hubby and I were at a family picnic. We were hanging near a table with finger foods, as was the 3 yr old kid of his cousin. Kid is generally a very well behaved and polite little boy. There was a small container of salsa and some tortilla chips. We sat and watched as the kid would pick up a chip, dip it in the salsa, lick the salsa off and then re-dip the chip. We (as we are childless) found this very amusing. After the kid toddled off to find something else to do, we did ask that the salsa be replaced and told the host why. \ This is why we never eat open food at places where there are free roaming toddlers or young children. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/105 "2010-04-01T18:59:10Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > I guess I don’t get this take on things. This is the Snuggly Kitten Forum - if you don’t want to be judged by what you post, then don’t post it. Wekta Funki! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/106 "2010-04-01T19:03:42Z")
> [@Daithi\_Lacha](#): > > Wow, this started out as a funny thread, but now everyone’s pissy. It’s like someone took Tabasco from a toddler! Seriously! Let’s get back to why it’s okay to punch someone for being a yelly d-bag. Failing that, ways to ensure a toddler ends up with a combination of hot sauce and broken glass in her eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/107 "2010-04-01T19:05:01Z")
Our kids are grown, but haven’t produced grandchildren for us yet. Remind me again why we nurture children? I’m forgetting… ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/108 "2010-04-01T19:07:05Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Failing that, ways to ensure a toddler ends up with a combination of hot sauce and broken glass in her eyes. 1. Bury the entire bottle in a Happy 2nd Birthday Cake 2. Put a fire cracker in the top of the bottle, so that it looks like one of the candles 3.??? 3. Profit. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/109 "2010-04-01T19:10:51Z")
Everybody have fun tonight … Everybody \*Wenkti Funki \*tonight … ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/110 "2010-04-01T19:14:37Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Seriously! Let’s get back to why it’s okay to punch someone for being a yelly d-bag. Failing that, ways to ensure a toddler ends up with a combination of hot sauce and broken glass in her eyes. Have you guys been crashing my family reunions. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/111 "2010-04-01T19:21:00Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Remind me again why we nurture children? I’m forgetting… To ensure healthy organs for the future harvest. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/112 "2010-04-01T19:31:32Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Remind me again why we nurture children? I’m forgetting… Because the Failure to Thrive ones are less delicious with hot sauce. Haven’t you been reading the thread? ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/113 "2010-04-01T21:01:15Z")
> [@Sue\_White](#): > > Our of morbid curiosity- what was he yelling at you about? What did he say? This is the gist of it. It went on quite a bit longer than this: Begin Scene… A toddler is shrieking and pointing at the Tobasco Thief. He sets the stolen bottle of tobasco down on the nearby card table. A man, clutching a bottle of beer, and woman, holding an empty wine glass storm up. The woman snatches up the toddler and tries to calm her. Man: What the f_ck are you doing to my daughter? Tobasco Thief: She had an open bottle of tobasco sauce, and I was worried that she’d get it on her, so I took it from her. Woman: You shouldn’t be taking stuff from kids. Tobasco Thief: It was tobasco sauce. Man: Didn’t you hear my wife? You leave my f_cking kid alone! You f\*cking pervert. Tobasco Thief: Whatever, dude. Tobasco Thief walks off. Man follows him. Man: Hey, I’m talking to you! Tobasco Thief: Leave me alone. Stop being a douchebag and back up off me. Man: F\*CK YOU! YOU WANNA GO RIGHT NOW? I’LL KICK YOUR ASS! Tobasco Thief: Whatever dude. Don’t even try it. The Host rushes over to the Man. Host: Um… you can’t be yelling and cussing like that. You’re going to have to calm down. Man: F_ck you. Host: All right, this is my place, so why don’t you just leave, before I call the cops. Man: F_ck it. Honey, we’re out of here. Man, Woman and toddler exit. And scene! ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/114 "2010-04-01T21:02:35Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > Have you ever gotten that stuff in your eyes? Look, I put tobasco on everything, and if I accidentally touched the top of an unopened bottle, I would wash my hands, just to avoid accidentally rubbing my eyes later and getting the stuff in my eyes. And we’re talking about a toddler who was in that stage where they walk around like they’re sort of drunk. I just don’t think that’s old enough to be handling something like tobasco sauce unsupervised. Of course, if it gets in her eyes, it’s not the end of the world or anything, but I can’t see why you would risk it at a party where getting it in her eyes is liable to make things unpleasant for your kid, you and everyone in the vicinity. > > And I did look around for the parents before I talked to her, and I didn’t see them anywhere nearby. They only came over when they heard her shrieking (and she was loud, and I guess they recognized her shriek). Barring an allergy, worst case scenario is she gets it in her eyes. It’s not a danger at all. It’s more salt and vinager than it is hot. Just take her to the bathroom and wash her up. She’ll be good as new. Getting stuff for me is just the sort of mission my daughter would like to do in order to remain entertained. Maybe not all toddlers are like that, but mine is. As for the parents not being around, it would depend strongly on the people at the BBQ. Since obviously they didn’t know you, it probably wasn’t the sort of place I would let my child roam around unattended. I have no idea what the situation was, I just wanted to point out that tobasco sauce isn’t necessarily the dire emergency that some here are making it out to be. ETA: I want to be clear though, the parent was a douche for going of on you. You didn’t do anything wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/115 "2010-04-01T21:06:35Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Failing that, ways to ensure a toddler ends up with a combination of hot sauce and broken glass in her eyes. A firm knee on her chest + a piping bag. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/116 "2010-04-01T21:11:01Z")
Please— unless this is some Homer-Simpson-created hot sauce infused with nicotine, the name is _Tabasco_. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/117 "2010-04-01T21:13:06Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Please— unless this is some Homer-Simpson-created hot sauce infused with nicotine, the name is _Tabasco_. Is that why they got mad at me? They could tell I was spelling it wrong in my head? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/118 "2010-04-01T21:18:26Z")
One time a guy came up to me and started screaming at me for beating a dog. Moron. If he’d taken the time to ask, I could have told him I was from the future and this dog was going to be the next Hitler. Sigh. When you assume… ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/119 "2010-04-01T21:32:16Z")
The whole thing surprises me. There was this kid once at Fourth of July barbeque who would not stop bothering me while we were watching the fireworks. I picked up the kid, and sat her in my lap. The parents, who I had never met, were sitting right beside me, and said absolutely nothing. Afterward I realized I could have been a child molester and taken the kid right in front of the parents. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/120 "2010-04-01T21:35:24Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > This is the gist of it. It went on quite a bit longer than this: > > Begin Scene… > > A toddler is shrieking and pointing at the Tobasco Thief. He sets the stolen bottle of tobasco down on the nearby card table. A man, clutching a bottle of beer, and woman, holding an empty wine glass storm up. The woman snatches up the toddler and tries to calm her. > > Man: What the f_ck are you doing to my daughter? > Tobasco Thief: She had an open bottle of tobasco sauce, and I was worried that she’d get it on her, so I took it from her. > Woman: You shouldn’t be taking stuff from kids. > Tobasco Thief: It was tobasco sauce. > Man: Didn’t you hear my wife? You leave my f_cking kid alone! You f\*cking pervert. > Tobasco Thief: Whatever, dude. > > Tobasco Thief walks off. Man follows him. > > Man: Hey, I’m talking to you! > Tobasco Thief: Leave me alone. Stop being a douchebag and back up off me. > Man: F\*CK YOU! YOU WANNA GO RIGHT NOW? I’LL KICK YOUR ASS! > Tobasco Thief: Whatever dude. Don’t even try it. > > The Host rushes over to the Man. > > Host: Um… you can’t be yelling and cussing like that. You’re going to have to calm down. > Man: F_ck you. > Host: All right, this is my place, so why don’t you just leave, before I call the cops. > Man: F_ck it. Honey, we’re out of here. > > Man, Woman and toddler exit. > > And scene! That’s literally unbelievable that someone would act like that…and double bonus, he called you a pervert, too! In mixed company no less! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=7)