# I Hunger. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039 "2005-11-14T19:46:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/1 "2005-11-14T19:46:13Z")
Bring me 6 chilled Harp lagers and a large plate of nachos. and a scalp massage. i could really use one of those about now. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/2 "2005-11-14T19:51:10Z")
IF I do this (and that’s a big IF)–will you tell me I’m gorgeous and give me a foot massage? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/3 "2005-11-14T19:58:26Z")
Let me get the Harps down and you got a deal. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/4 "2005-11-14T20:23:24Z")
With that thread title, I figured you’d be wanting something a little [bigger](http://marvelite.prohosting.com/surfer/galactus/issue2/gtd2-6.jpg). –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/5 "2005-11-14T20:56:44Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Let me get the Harps down and you got a deal. \ so, are you saying that you have to get drunk before you can touch my feet? Well? Hmmph. I DO shower daily. \ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/6 "2005-11-14T21:02:09Z")
Harps? Really? Well, whatever floats yer boat. Whaddaya want on those nachos? And what do I get out of this? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/7 "2005-11-14T21:03:09Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Bring me 6 chilled Harp lagers and a large plate of nachos. You don’t really need that drink, but your soul is thirsty. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/8 "2005-11-14T21:16:32Z")
Dude. Is the title, “I Thirst?” Clearly you underestimate the potency of a superior batch of nachos. The drink I NEED, but the Nachos I _WANT_. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/9 "2005-11-14T21:31:45Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Dude. Is the title, “I Thirst?” Clearly you underestimate the potency of a superior batch of nachos. Not so much that I’d find myself without proximal access to a conveniently located men’s room. > [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > The drink I NEED, but the Nachos I _WANT_. Nonsense… it’ll just go directly to your hips. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/10 "2005-11-14T22:00:45Z")
With that title, I kinda thought you’d be [Sinistar](http://www.shockwave.com/sw/content/sinistar). ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/11 "2005-11-14T22:08:13Z")
Brainchild! How about a non-sexual 69? I will massage your scalp whilst you massage my feet? I think it’s brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/12 "2005-11-14T22:17:34Z")
Misquote from That Movie: “I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to bring me 6 chilled Harp lagers and a large plate of nachos.” ---
**Author:** ![Fallsguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bb73d2/32.png) [@Fallsguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallsguy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/13 "2005-11-14T23:52:58Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Bring me 6 chilled Harp lagers and a large plate of nachos. > > and a scalp massage. i could really use one of those about now. Have your Harp’s and nachos. Then, sleep well and dream of large women. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/14 "2005-11-15T00:16:46Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Brainchild! > How about a non-sexual 69? I will massage your scalp whilst you massage my feet? > > I think it’s brilliant. Wait a minute…how would that work? In the 69 position his scalp would be too far away from your hands. I’m trying to picture it, but the plasticine people in my head don’t contort enough. OK, after drawing some diagrams, I think I’ve worked out how it would be done. **eleanorigby** sits on a chair behind **Inigo Montoya** , who is sitting on the floor. **eleanorigby** massages **Inigo Montoya** ’s scalp while she wraps her legs around his torso. He massages her feet which will be right in front of him. Kind of like this: ```auto O ==| O | ==| | --+-/ | - ----/ n ``` Just pray that the neighbours don’t look through your window. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/15 "2005-11-15T00:21:30Z")
And here is the other part of the plan: ```auto O - you're gorgeous here is beer and nachos - O -|- -|- | | / \ / \ ``` ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/16 "2005-11-15T03:34:51Z")
> [@Mbossa](#): > > And here is the other part of the plan: > > ```auto > > O - you're gorgeous here is beer and nachos - O > -|- -o|o- > | | > / \ / \ > > ``` Not to be critical, but shouldn’t one of the stick figures have boobs? I have made the necessary adjustments… ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/17 "2005-11-15T03:50:21Z")
By that logic shouldn’t it be: O - you’re gorgeous here is beer and nachos - O -|- -o|o- | | o|o / / ! \ ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/18 "2005-11-15T03:58:58Z")
O -|- oo /! :smack: or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/19 "2005-11-15T04:21:21Z")
The secret is to do it in a {CODE}{/CODE} block. This ensures that a fixed-pitch font is used, so every character (including space) takes up exactly the same amount of horizontal space. I “compose” my “diagrams” in Notepad, which displays stuff in a fixed-pitch font by default. ```auto O - you're gorgeous here is beer and nachos - O -|- -o|o- o|o | /!\ / \ ``` **Inigo** is certainly well-hung. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039/20 "2005-11-15T04:35:24Z")
> [@Mbossa](#): > > **Inigo** is certainly well-hung. Perhaps, but his testicles are out of control! Who can get to the well-hung goodness with those two guarding the entire lower half of his body? :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hunger/331039.md?page=2)