# I hurt my ass today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191 "2000-11-01T04:37:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/1 "2000-11-01T04:37:27Z")
Really. I’ve had a pretty nasty cold this week, and I’ve been coughing almost nonstop. I was having yet another coughing fit and then suddenly my ass explodes in pain. You know how it feels when you wake up with a leg cramp? It was exactly the same pain, except in my sphintcer. This is quite possibly the strangest cold symptom I’ve ever experienced. It’s mundane, it’s pointless, it’s something I’d never share with anyone IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/2 "2000-11-01T04:41:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LunaSea \* > \*\* > It’s mundane, it’s pointless, it’s something I’d never share with anyone IRL. \*\* Which is EXACTLY why we’re all here for you, \*\* LunaSea \*\* so you can share your heiny stories, and we’ll feel your pain…well, not exactly, but kinda sorta. I hope you’re feeling better soon, do you have a cool mist vaporizer going to ease your congestion somewhat??? ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/3 "2000-11-01T04:57:21Z")
No, but I have lots of halloween candy. That’s just as good right? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/4 "2000-11-01T04:59:33Z")
Wow. You coughed so hard your ass cramped? That’s gotta be some kind of record. ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/5 "2000-11-01T05:08:35Z")
nope, thought I could… but cant. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/6 "2000-11-01T05:47:25Z")
Hope you have someone to rub it better with 😛 ---
**Author:** ![douglips](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@douglips](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/douglips)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/7 "2000-11-01T06:27:27Z")
> [@](#): > > I hurt my ass today. Did you focus on the pain? Is it the only thing that’s real? ---
**Author:** ![Brainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Brainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainz)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/8 "2000-11-01T07:00:33Z")
Take the beeds out…fool! ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/9 "2000-11-01T10:14:50Z")
Anti Pro, could you explain how a cool mist vaporizer relieves ass congestion? I read the directions on mine, and while it doesn’t actually prohibit use on the ass, it doesn’t seem to be recommended, either. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hurt-my-ass-today/39191/10 "2000-11-01T10:57:34Z")
Just use a hankerchief and blow like everyone else 😉