# I just about gave up on God today. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 4, 2008, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197 "2008-02-04T09:24:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/21 "2008-02-04T16:28:40Z")
[QUOTE=Jackknifed Juggernaut] Yeah, the NFL just randomly takes away 1st round draft picks, and levies heavy fines, for no apparent reason. :rolleyes: [/quote] As I said in another thread, they did that because they had already told Belchick to stop doing it and he kept doing it anyway. It was a pissing contest. They were showing him who the boss was. It had nothing to do with “cheating.” > [@](#): > > Now, apparently, there’s evidence that suggests that they cheated in their first Super Bowl. Actually, the NFL says there is NOT any such evidence. The Pats are just getting swiftboated for having bigger dicks and hotter girlfriends than everybody else. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/22 "2008-02-04T17:28:09Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] I just wanna know why the _fuck_ God would be paying attention a football game? Seems to me there’s more important things out there for Him to worry about. You know, like global warming, Iraq, Bush, and shit, just about everything you can think of. I mean, aren’t we at risk of the entire universe flying apart if God get’s too distracted? [/QUOTE] if God get is too distracted? What the fuck does that even mean? ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/23 "2008-02-04T17:33:06Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Actually, the NFL says there is NOT any such evidence. The Pats are just getting swiftboated for having bigger dicks and hotter girlfriends than everybody else. [/QUOTE] You are absolutely not allowed to make comments like this after your team loses. It just sounds like a whiny bitch-rant. “Yeah?! Yeah!!! Well we still have bigger dicks! So what if we looked like high school girls out there on the field? WE HAVE BIGGER DICKS!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/24 "2008-02-04T17:45:52Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] You are absolutely not allowed to make comments like this after your team loses. It just sounds like a whiny bitch-rant. “Yeah?! Yeah!!! Well we still have bigger dicks! So what if we looked like high school girls out there on the field? WE HAVE BIGGER DICKS!!!” [/QUOTE] My team is the Vikings. We have tiny dicks. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/25 "2008-02-04T17:59:33Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] My team is the Vikings. We have tiny dicks. [/QUOTE] Oh God, I’m so sorry. I take it back. The Patriots still don’t have big dicks, though. They just look bigger in the referees’ tiny hands. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/26 "2008-02-04T18:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] I just wanna know why the _fuck_ God would be paying attention a football game? Seems to me there’s more important things out there for Him to worry about. You know, like global warming, Iraq, Bush, and shit, just about everything you can think of. I mean, aren’t we at risk of the entire universe flying apart if God get’s too distracted? [/QUOTE] If God sees every sparrow fall, then the crushing sack of a douchebag shouldn’t escape his eye either. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/27 "2008-02-04T19:03:14Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] My team is the Vikings. We have tiny dicks. [/QUOTE] Don’t feel bad. The cold does it to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/28 "2008-02-04T19:04:51Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] My team is the Vikings. We have tiny dicks. [/QUOTE] Is that why Smoot had to use that double headed dildo on the Love Boat? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/29 "2008-02-04T19:31:46Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] I just wanna know why the _fuck_ God would be paying attention a football game? Seems to me there’s more important things out there for Him to worry about. You know, like global warming, Iraq, Bush, and shit, just about everything you can think of. I mean, aren’t we at risk of the entire universe flying apart if God get’s too distracted? [/QUOTE] I just wanna know why everything has to turn into a theological debate around here. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/30 "2008-02-04T19:46:35Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] If God sees every sparrow fall, then the crushing sack of a douchebag shouldn’t escape his eye either. [/QUOTE] Now _ **that’s** _ the sort of theology I can get behind. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/31 "2008-02-04T20:27:54Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] I just wanna know why everything has to turn into a theological debate around here. [/QUOTE] Because God says so. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/32 "2008-02-05T01:15:54Z")
[QUOTE=essell] Who the fuck do you think you are to define what God thinks is important and what’s not? You think God bases his prioritories on what you think? [/QUOTE] Hey, better Tuckerfan than Fred Phelps. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/33 "2008-02-05T02:07:05Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] The only way it could have been better is if a shark fell from the sky and swallowed Tom Brady whole as it plummetted to the earth. [/QUOTE] [Dr. Evil] “A shark… with laser beams attached to its head?” [/Dr. Evil] I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this scenario is likeliest to happen in Miami, which is located on a peninsula surrounded by ocean waters with lots of sharks in them, and gets enough tornadoes and [waterspouts](http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=downtown+Miami+waterspout&btnG=Search+Images) to keep things interesting, like in a game of “Simcity” when the player goes into an angry Jehovah mode and destroys his creation. So keep an eye on those away games in Pro Player Stadium! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2008, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197/34 "2008-02-05T13:24:06Z")
Easier for a camel to go thru the eye of a needle than a smug Patriots team win the fucking Superbowl. God bless all underdogs. And if Jesus were a QB, I bet he’d have shown up for practice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-about-gave-up-on-god-today/436197.md?page=1)