# I just ate at Applebees (I think I'm going to die!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 8, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314 "2009-09-08T18:16:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/101 "2009-09-10T15:21:10Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > So, did the OP die? I believe so! Maybe I’m not so curious about how bad the food is, after all. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > [Certainly](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11534129&postcount=62). All the proof I need. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/102 "2009-09-10T15:50:52Z")
I died, but it got better. And I’m starting to lean toward the theory that there are vast differences in quality between different Applebees locations. I have a friend who has eaten at this location before who tells me it is one of the worst he has ever been to (apparently they were even shut down for food poisoning violations a few years ago). We actually have a bet going that he’ll take me to one of the ‘good’ Applebees for lunch. If I like it, I’ll buy both our meals. If it is terrible, he’ll buy. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/103 "2009-09-10T16:02:14Z")
> [@leander](#): > > You’ve missed the point entirely. > > NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FATNESS OR BOWEL PROBLEMS! > > It’s fucking disgusting. Ok? Actually, we discuss that sort of thing all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/104 "2009-09-10T18:06:17Z")
Ahhhh, good ol’ Crapplebees. The epitome of the Tipsy McStagger’s chain “fine dining” restaurant (I kid you not; my MIL used to do market research, and she said that Ruby Tuesday is categorized as “fine dining” so Applebees must be as well). The ones we’ve eaten at have been edible, if unremarkable. There’s one near where we go every Saturday and we’ve eaten there a few times and the most memorable thing about the place is the service tends to suck. Oh, and it’s never very crowded, though we’re going during not-peak hours (Saturday lunch). I’d let the local restaurant know that their food made you sick. I’d also pass this on to their district or headquarters contacts. This should result in an apology at least, and if you’re lucky (or if you have offended a LOT of deities) some free food. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/105 "2009-09-10T18:51:40Z")
Funny thing about the service. When the food was inedible, the service was fantastic. As the food improved, the service turned a little meh. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/106 "2009-09-10T19:41:08Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > And I’ll make you a deal, I’ll quit talking about my bowels the instant that I don’t have to constantly think about them. You don’t have to post every thought you have, you know. I constantly think about pussy, yet I manage to keep most of my perverse thoughts to myself. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/107 "2009-09-10T20:03:52Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > You don’t have to post every thought you have, you know. I constantly think about pussy, yet I manage to keep most of my perverse thoughts to myself. If you’re willing to branch out by a few centimeters, maybe you and **Lynn** can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/108 "2009-09-10T20:12:28Z")
For me, the key to successful dining at Applebees has been to find the one entree I like (the fiesta chicken wrap) and always order it. I don’t eat there often enough to get tired of it, so always ordering the same thing works for me. Which leads me to agree with the larger point that quality varies widely from location to location. I’ve had good service and good hot food multiple times, but I’ve had crappy service and crappy cold food multiple times as well. I tend to eat at places like Applebees when I’m travelling and it’s the end of a long day and basically all I want is a quck meal of something / somewhere that is a known quantity. Come to think of it, I never eat at the Applebees in my home town because I know of too many much better restaurants to even bother. But I’d give the food, service, cleanliness and atmosphere at Applebees a solid C+ and honestly, sometimes I’ll take the known C+ over the possibility of an A or an F. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/109 "2009-09-10T20:17:00Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > If you’re willing to branch out by a few centimeters, maybe you and **Lynn** can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement. Well played, sir. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/110 "2009-09-10T21:18:12Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > But I’d give the food, service, cleanliness and atmosphere at Applebees a solid C+ and honestly, sometimes I’ll take the known C+ over the possibility of an A or an F. That’s exactly the appeal of a chain to me. I’m not an adventurous eater and when I’m in the food, I get unreasonably emotional if I don’t find something I know I’ll like. Going to Applebee’s/Friday’s/Chili’s is great for me because I know what to expect and it’s the kind of food I enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/111 "2009-09-10T23:57:46Z")
I ate at Applebee’s once. I bit into a chicken sandwich and the chicken was raw. Haven’t been back since and now I fondly refer to it as “Assholebleeds”. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/112 "2009-09-11T00:01:10Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > That’s exactly the appeal of a chain to me. I’m not an adventurous eater and when I’m in the food, I get unreasonably emotional if I don’t find something I know I’ll like. Going to Applebee’s/Friday’s/Chili’s is great for me because I know what to expect and it’s the kind of food I enjoy. Every time a grown adult says this sort of thing in my presence, I feel a little embarrassed, like if someone at a party I was at made an egregious _faux pas_, or like when I am accosted by a person who wants to share their discovery of Jesus with me. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/113 "2009-09-11T14:41:17Z")
I’m the first to admit I have very deep emotional issues with food, and this is one way it manifests itself. I’m working on it, but it’s very difficult. And addicts are good at manipulation, so it’s not like I have to actually say any of this outright and embarrass the people around me. I have my ways of getting people to go there without being so bald-faced. Man, I hate myself. ETA: And I just lied. I am aware of the issue but I can’t honestly say I’m working on it. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/114 "2009-09-11T16:13:18Z")
Waaaaaay back when, Dave Barry wrote an article about his proposed new chain of restaurants, Mr. Mediocre’s, where you KNEW you’d get a mediocre meal, just like at all the others. Sadly prescient. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/115 "2009-09-11T16:46:05Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’m the first to admit I have very deep emotional issues with food, and this is one way it manifests itself. I’m working on it, but it’s very difficult. Dude, don’t let them get you down. Wanting to eat comfort food and not be adventurous in eating is not a sin. It is a trifle boring, but it’s nothing you have to apologize for. I hike. I love to walk, anytime, anywhere, but especially in the outdoors. Some of my buds like to rock climb, and try to get me to go along on their adventures. I tried it, I don’t like it, I like to walk ( it relaxes me _and_ I get exercise, what a great combo. THEY come back all stressed and banged up). Sure, that makes me a little bit vanilla to their Rocky Road, but so? I assume that your food “issues” allow you to eat a full and complete healthy diet- lots of fresh veggies, a little meat (optional), fish and what not. If so, then you’re OK. \* I am not a real Doctor.\* ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/116 "2009-09-11T16:51:53Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Every time a grown adult says this sort of thing in my presence, I feel a little embarrassed, like if someone at a party I was at made an egregious _faux pas_, or like when I am accosted by a person who wants to share their discovery of Jesus with me. Every time a grown adult says _this_ sort of thing in _my_ presence, I feel incredibly embarassed, like if someone at a party I was attending acted like an amazingly pretentious tool. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/117 "2009-09-11T17:08:28Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#): > > Every time a grown adult says _this_ sort of thing in _my_ presence, I feel incredibly embarassed, like if someone at a party I was attending acted like an amazingly pretentious tool. Let me guess, for your next trick you are going to pull out your acoustic guitar and treat us to a rendition of a Dave Matthews song. Maybe you can talk about the plight of the downtrodden and how to fight the man, before you hop in your Prius and hit the Starbucks for a double vente grande crappachino with extra hazelnut syrup. Good for you, standing up for picky eater proles against the bourgeois snobs. You are truly a special, special person whom we should all strive to emulate. This is an issue that needs to be addressed, lest we slide headfirst into culinary facism and post things like “I’d rather go hungry than eat at a chain restaurant”. You, sir, are a champion of the common man, a dignitary of the people, a nietzschean superman, and a defender of mediocrity. I salute you. Fight the good fight, troglodyte. Fight the good fight. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/118 "2009-09-11T17:15:08Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Maybe you can talk about the plight of the downtrodden and how to fight the man, before you hop in your Prius and hit the Starbucks for a double vente grande crappachino with extra hazelnut syrup. Prius drivers don’t patronize Starbucks. They only drink organic coffee from local mom-and-pops. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/119 "2009-09-11T17:26:00Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Let me guess, for your next trick you are going to pull out your acoustic guitar and treat us to a rendition of a Dave Matthews song. Maybe you can talk about the plight of the downtrodden and how to fight the man, before you hop in your Prius and hit the Starbucks for a double vente grande crappachino with extra hazelnut syrup. Sorry, I don’t speak Utter Tool. What does any of this even _mean_? > [@](#): > > Good for you, standing up for picky eater proles against the bourgeois snobs. You are truly a special, special person whom we should all strive to emulate. This is an issue that needs to be addressed, lest we slide headfirst into culinary facism and post things like “I’d rather go hungry than eat at a chain restaurant”. > > You, sir, are a champion of the common man, a dignitary of the people, a nietzschean superman, and a defender of mediocrity. I salute you. > > Fight the good fight, troglodyte. Fight the good fight. Oh, I get it! You think I _care_ that you’re a tool. No, I don’t care. My tastes are what they are, and if it pleases you to imagine that I eat at chain restaraunts and drink at Starbucks, go for it. In reality, what I actually eat and drink is probably very, very similar to what you eat and drink. I’m just not stupid enough to believe that what I like to eat says anything at all about me as a person, and you are. Which is why you’re a tool. It’s OK: love it, hold it close, embrace it. It’s important that everyone finds validation _somewhere_. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314/120 "2009-09-11T17:57:37Z")
I’m not sure, but I think someone just got snobbish about their snobbishness toward a lack of snobbery. What a snob. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-ate-at-applebees-i-think-im-going-to-die/509314.md?page=7)