# I just bought my first whole pineapple. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 15, 2018, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853 "2018-02-15T02:29:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/21 "2018-02-15T15:12:04Z")
My local grocery store sells fresh, but cut-up, pineapples. Basically, they do all the work, you take home a pre-cut cylinder of yumminess in a plastic container. Check your produce section. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/22 "2018-02-15T15:21:59Z")
That’s what I was saying. Except I bought one once and forgot about it for two or three days. And then when I looked at it, the plastic wrap was bulging. I assume it was starting to spoil. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/23 "2018-02-15T15:23:53Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Yummmy! Hawaiian pizza. Ham and pineapple as toppings:D How does a post like this NOT receive a mod warning for promoting crimes against humanity? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/24 "2018-02-15T15:31:33Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Not just the acid. Pineapple has an enzyme called bromelain which is used as a meat tenderizer! We eat meat tenderizer unless the tenderizing process chemically changes it. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/25 "2018-02-15T16:34:36Z")
When I lived in California, I once asked an employee in the produce department of my grocery store how to choose a good pineapple. It turned out the guy had worked on a Dole plantation in Hawaii and knew a whole lot about pineapples. I thought that was totally cool. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/26 "2018-02-15T16:59:49Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > We eat meat tenderizer unless the tenderizing process chemically changes it. :dubious: Of course. The meat it is tenderizing is your lips and tongue, though. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/27 "2018-02-15T17:30:52Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > When I lived in California, I once asked an employee in the produce department of my grocery store how to choose a good pineapple. It turned out the guy had worked on a Dole plantation in Hawaii and knew a whole lot about pineapples. I thought that was totally cool. I’ve heard if you can remove a frond from the crown easily, and if the pineapple has a fragrant smell, you’re good to go. I am still mulling over the statement above about Victorians bringing a ‘rented’ pineapple as a table decoration - taking it away with them at the end of the evening? Odd! “Oh, George, we’re invited to the Smiths for dinner in a fortnight!” “Excellent, m’dear! You had best inquire about rental of the pineapple fruit soonest.” ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/28 "2018-02-15T17:58:31Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I am still mulling over the statement above about Victorians bringing a ‘rented’ pineapple as a table decoration - taking it away with them at the end of the evening? Odd! “Oh, George, we’re invited to the Smiths for dinner in a fortnight!” “Excellent, m’dear! You had best inquire about rental of the pineapple fruit soonest.” 😃 You didn’t bring one with you, the host would rent one as a centrepiece, to try and pretend they could afford a whole pineapple. If you were wondering who got to eat the pineapple, the answer was generally no-one. They’d be rented out to different dinner parties (I believe the price went down, the older and more suspect the pineapple looked, so the pineapple would work its way down the social classes) until the time they looked too old for even the least discerning pineapple renter, by which point they were too old to be worth eating. As it happens, I’ve just spent the week working in restored Victorian garden, with a yard devoted to the growing of pineapples by the traditional method. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/29 "2018-02-15T18:29:47Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > 😃 > You didn’t bring one with you, the host would rent one as a centrepiece, to try and pretend they could afford a whole pineapple. > > If you were wondering who got to eat the pineapple, the answer was generally no-one. They’d be rented out to different dinner parties (I believe the price went down, the older and more suspect the pineapple looked, so the pineapple would work its way down the social classes) until the time they looked too old for even the least discerning pineapple renter, by which point they were too old to be worth eating. > > As it happens, I’ve just spent the week working in restored Victorian garden, with a yard devoted to the growing of pineapples by the traditional method. OH! Duh, the HOST rented one, not the invited diners! Sorry, I had a senior moment. That’s better, then! (It probably cost as much to rent a pineapple as to rent an extra serving maid.) ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/30 "2018-02-15T18:36:26Z")
> [@zombywoof](#): > > [The Hidden History of the Housewarming Pineapple](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-hidden-history-of-the-housewarming-pineapple) Even before I followed that link, I knew it was going to Atlas Obscura. That site can waste more of my time than TVTropes and CookieClicker combined. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/31 "2018-02-15T19:24:18Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I’ve heard if you can remove a frond from the crown easily, and if the pineapple has a fragrant smell, you’re good to go. Smell is good, leaf-pullability is bad. I’ve noticed there’s a lot of weird misinformation about picking out a good pineapple. - The eyes should be of equal size. If there are larger ones at the top and smaller at the bottom, the fruit was picked too soon. - Colour of skin makes no difference. Some pineapples are ripe and sweet and soft and delicious when the skin is dark green. Some turn the more classic yellowy orange. You can’t tell which will. - After harvest, pineapples get SOFTER but don’t get SWEETER. - An old pineapple will have wrinkly skin and a ferment-y odour. Avoid. Cite: grew up in the tropics. Have eaten a lot of pineapples. Oh, and should you be travelling in warm climes during pineapple season, make sure to fill up - the imported fruits in the US are sure to be older than the fresh-picked fruits you’ll enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/32 "2018-02-15T19:25:37Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > This is true. Also, while you’re body is busy digesting that pineapple…that pineapple is effectively also initiating, digesting you! Think about that! _Sometimes you eat the pineapple. Sometimes the pineapple eats you._ - Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/33 "2018-02-15T19:40:19Z")
Can you neutralize the enzyme that causes these problems? I know heating or canning will do it. Anything else that’ll work? Is there a bromelain inhibitor you can use that’ll help? Or do we have to grill or heat the pineapple in the microwave to denature the protein? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/34 "2018-02-15T19:47:21Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > It _is_ a pain in the ass to cut up. There’e the inedible bits in the middle, the tough rind that you have to cut away and those weird little seeds on the outside of the flesh. For that reason, I usually cheat by getting the fresh pineapple cylinders in the produce section of the supermarket. Probably not as good as the whole fruit but better than the canned. Hmmm…I did a lot of fruit cutting in my catering days, and I found pineapple to be the least bothersome of the fruits I had to peel and cut. Melons were slippery and round and the goop on the inside is much harder to deal with than a solid core. Pineapples were pretty no-nonsense - slice off the top and bottom, stand the fruit up, slice off the skin, cut into quarters and slice out the core. All without too much juice. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/35 "2018-02-15T19:54:37Z")
They are typically displayed standing up, and the bottom portion tends to be the juiciest. One thing I do with a whole pineapple is lay it on it’s side, then roll it around once or twice over a few hours - it seems to distribute the juice through more of the fruit. The ones we get stateside are OK, and once in a while we get a really good one. The best ones I have had were from the numerous farmers markets in Hawaii. Smaller than the ones here, but golden, juicy goodness all the time. ---
**Author:** ![jerez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c68b51/32.png) [@jerez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerez)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/36 "2018-02-15T20:55:01Z")
Get yerself a can of spam. First time’s the hardest, haha. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/37 "2018-02-15T20:59:03Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > They are typically displayed standing up, and the bottom portion tends to be the juiciest. They ripen from the bottom up. I don’t think your maneouvre is doing anything. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/38 "2018-02-15T22:00:23Z")
I usually get one or more during the summer months. I peel and cut and juice the core to use as marinade for grilled steaks. Yummy, waiting on grilling season. May be sooner than I think, it is 75° today. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/39 "2018-02-15T22:11:23Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Yummmy! Hawaiian pizza. Ham and pineapple as toppings:D > > Dole grows the pineapples just up the street from me (about 8 miles). > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > How does a post like this NOT receive a mod warning for promoting crimes against humanity? Take that - [404 | Memes](http://www.memes.com/searchresults/who%20your%20friends%20are/372946) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853/40 "2018-02-15T22:23:02Z")
I like pineapple and Canadian bacon on Pizza. Do I necessarily get a double dose of Hate for that? So sad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-bought-my-first-whole-pineapple/808853.md?page=3)