# I just don't believe in no darned Bible.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 24, 2006, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012 "2006-08-24T08:01:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 15\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\
**Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/41 "2006-08-25T03:55:33Z")

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I’d like to see a L337-speak Bible.

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**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\
**Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/42 "2006-08-25T05:48:07Z")

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You need to meditate upon this, **Brother Buckner**.

And for your moments of reflection, I recomend this book and CD: **Grunt: Pigorian Chant from Snouto Domoinko de Silo** , available at Amazon.

Let the animals of the humble farm speak to you. The pigs will welcome you with pig Latin. Hush now. They are sleeping…

“Ore-snay…Ore-snay…”

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**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\
**Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/43 "2006-08-25T06:37:03Z")

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[QUOTE=cerberus]  
I’d like to see a L337-speak Bible.  
[/QUOTE]

And taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. And all ate and were satisfied. And they took up what was left over, twelve baskets of broken pieces. And the disciples said unto one another, “zomg jesus is teh haxx0r!”

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**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\
**Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/44 "2006-08-25T08:03:37Z")

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[QUOTE=MEBuckner]  
You mean, as opposed to creationists demanding that we show them examples of transitional fishpigs?  
[/QUOTE]

I got to play with an early build of the game Spore today. You could totally make a transitional fishpig if you wanted. This proves that intelligent design is real… or something. Except I think it only applies to cyberspace. Hmm, perhaps there is a flaw here.

> [@Gorsnak](#):
>
> And the disciples said unto one another, “zomg jesus is teh haxx0r!”

Sorry, but you are using a more modern translation. Here are a few passages from Genesis in 0|\_[) 733+:

()||3: ][|| [)@ 8399|[]l//9 |\_|83|2|\_33+}{4\>\<\>\<0r (r34+3|) +3h ]-[e@/3|/|z 4][[) o[@ eo]]2+}{.

+\|0: n()\| [)3 [_]r+|-| //@5 |=0|2|v|[355 + 3//|]^7`|, o[4r|\<|/|e55 \[4% 0|e|2 [)@ 5||r]=4(3 ()f +e}{ [)33]^, 4]/[[) +}{3 5p][]2|+ 0| [_]6e|;1337[-]@\>\<\>\<()]2 \|4% }{0/3|2l][6 0|/3r 73h |//@+e|2z.

7[-]r33: + (\_)83r]\_3e7=\4(}\<3|2 54||}

05E8 05B9 05D5 05D0 0020 05D9 05B4 05D4 05B0 05D9

4/|/]) 7}{3r3 \|@z ]\_!6h+.

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**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\
**Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/45 "2006-08-25T18:04:33Z")

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[QUOTE=jimbeam]  
So does this pit include the New Testament as well?  
[/QUOTE]

If so, if English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\
**Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/46 "2006-08-25T18:21:50Z")

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[QUOTE=sturmhauke]  
I got to play with an early build of the game Spore today.  
[/QUOTE]

[Hijack]  
What?! How? Where? Me want!  
[/Hijack]

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**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/47 "2006-08-26T03:35:01Z")

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I work at EA.

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/48 "2006-08-26T03:39:10Z")

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Oh. Then I guess it’s not available for the general public. Damn! I really want to play that game…

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**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/49 "2006-08-26T07:54:44Z")

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[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF]  
Ancient Geek? What’s that? FORTRAN jokes?  
[/QUOTE]

You leave FORTRAN alone, dang you!!

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**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/50 "2006-08-26T08:00:27Z")

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[QUOTE=LiveOnAPlane]  
You leave FORTRAN alone, dang you!!  
[/QUOTE]  
Every chance I get.

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**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/51 "2006-08-26T08:17:30Z")

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[QUOTE=asterion]  
Ah, but can you read Aramaic and Greek?  
[/QUOTE]

I can read it, I just don’t fucking unnerstand it 😃

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**Author:** ![jimbeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@jimbeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbeam)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/52 "2006-08-26T15:58:03Z")

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Understand ancient languages? Hell, we can’t even agree/understand each other when speaking the SAME current language.

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**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/53 "2006-08-26T18:38:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Gorsnak]  
And taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. And all ate and were satisfied. And they took up what was left over, twelve baskets of broken pieces. And the disciples said unto one another, “zomg jesus is teh haxx0r!”  
[/QUOTE]

[He’s Jesus, lol](http://jesus5000.ytmnd.com/). (music in the link)

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/54 "2006-08-26T22:06:18Z")

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[QUOTE=Monty]  
Well, you can get some of the Oly-hay Ible-bay right [here](http://www.museumofconceptualart.com/ible-bay.html).  
[/QUOTE]

You can also buy [The New Testament in Scots dialect.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140075712)

> [@Scottish Jesus](#):
>
> Syne Jesus gaed on tae the boat, an his disciples cam abuird efter him. On a suddentie a fell storm rase the loch, an the jaws cam jow-jowin owre the boat. But Jesus ey sleepit.
> 
> Sae they cam an waukent him an said til him, ‘Sauf us, Maister, we‘r likin tae be drouned!’ But Jesus said til them, ‘What makes ye sic couarts? What hes come owre your faith?’ Syne he stuid up an bostit the winds an the watter; an aa fell lown an still.

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**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\
**Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-dont-believe-in-no-darned-bible/370012/55 "2006-08-27T06:20:04Z")

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**Miller** ,

Would you be interested in a Hawaiian Pidgin (the Hawaiian creole) version?

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