# I just found out I'm married to a Doper! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210 "2000-07-20T04:29:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Nen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nen)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/1 "2000-07-20T04:29:46Z")
I have been speaking with my wife via telephone for the last half an hour (we live 700 miles apart); she’s currently requesting veto power over the content of this post. Anyway, she has been perusing the boards quite some time now and today she mentioned she’d registered. To my dismay, she would not reveal her handle. As **Tymp** manned the keyboard, I elicited vital information to narrow the search. Within moments, we found the tidbit of info for which we sought. At this juncture in time, I would like to introduce to you my lovely, intellingent, enrapturing wife, **lilah**. I would greatly appreciate it if my fellow Dopers would take a moment to welcome her to the community (and mention nothing of the crush thread). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/2 "2000-07-20T04:33:25Z")
You’re a dead man now, punk. There are no secrets on the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/3 "2000-07-20T04:41:22Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, lilah. Have fun and enjoy your stay! ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/4 "2000-07-20T04:41:31Z")
Don’t worry Nen, I don’t know anything about you. But then, I could always just make it up as I go along. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/5 "2000-07-20T04:50:08Z")
Crush thread? No one told me about a crush thread, lilah-it must be an urban legend. Welcome to the crew, hope you have a wonderful time and stay forever! As you probably will, as it is extremely addictive. Scotti ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/6 "2000-07-20T04:50:29Z")
Howdy, **lilah.** Nice ta meetcha. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/7 "2000-07-20T04:53:52Z")
Hello, lilah, wherever you are 🙂 Welcome to the SDMB. Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/8 "2000-07-20T05:01:12Z")
Geez, and I feel self-concious because my brother lurks here. Be afraid, Nen. Be very afraid. (Jus’ kidding, lilah. Welcome aboard, here’s your duck.) ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/9 "2000-07-20T05:05:03Z")
Nen worships Lucifer. He hides bizarre German porn in the broom closet. He really loves Pop-Tarts. He has a strange affinity with burrowing creatures. He once had a short stint in a boy-band called “Hot Niples” He likes to use Cheez-Whiz as lubricant. He always wears Seran-Wrap under his clothing and wax paper on his feet. (except when you’re looking) He likes to dress up as J. Edgar Hoover… when Edgar **wasn’t** in drag. He’s just crazy, he’s not a pervert (well, unless you count the cheez-wiz, and the tapioca, which I’m not even gonna go into). He once had a rather strange experience with a set of bungee cords a corkscrew and a marilyn monroe wig. But once again, we’re not gonna go into that. He really gets off on scaring the cat with the vacuum cleaner. He has connections with the Illuminati. He once had his brain switched with a mountain gorilla. They’re still trying to catch that damn gorilla. He likes to chase frogs with a weed-whacker. Oh yeah, that big purple dinosaur is his bitch. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/10 "2000-07-20T05:08:29Z")
Oh yeah, welcome to the board lilah! I hope don’t scare you too much. ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/11 "2000-07-20T06:24:47Z")
Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!! ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/12 "2000-07-20T07:05:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Talkinsquirrel \* > Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!! I don’t think we need to go there again. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/13 "2000-07-20T07:17:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Talkinsquirrel \* > > Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!! > > I don’t think we need to go there again. 😉 \*\* The hell we don’t!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/14 "2000-07-20T09:04:39Z")
Welcome lilah. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/15 "2000-07-20T11:24:42Z")
And the SDMB continues it’s inexorable march towards world domination. Wolcome aboard lilah. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/16 "2000-07-20T12:01:06Z")
Yeah, like Mully said, wolcome. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/17 "2000-07-20T12:08:31Z")
So Nen, tell us. Did you know about her nipple piercing before the marriage? ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/18 "2000-07-20T12:12:04Z")
Welcome! Please allow me to introduce myself… * * * Yer pal, Satan _TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Three months, one week, four days, 10 hours, 8 minutes and 0 seconds. 4096 cigarettes not smoked, saving $512.11. Life saved: 2 weeks, 5 hours, 20 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/19 "2000-07-20T13:25:12Z")
Welcome, lilah! It takes a little getting used to, but soon . . . You’ll be right at home! ---
**Author:** ![Nen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Nen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nen)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210/20 "2000-07-20T14:33:05Z")
Just to let everyone know, **lilah** won’t be able to post to this thread until this evening, although she does know of its existence. **FreakFreely** , you just had to tell her absolutely _everything_, didn’t you? **Talkinsquirrel** , I’m with **yojimbo** , you don’t need to go there. **Mulli** , she could be the brains behind the world coup, be careful. **UncleBeer** , that’s a BIG affirmative. I didn’t marry her fer nothin’, ya know. (As a matter of fact, I’m the one that did it). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-found-out-im-married-to-a-doper/26210.md?page=2)