# I just got a new cell phone. Let's have some fun with the old one. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2004, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199 "2004-02-14T10:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/41 "2004-02-17T01:34:18Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > See how it with stands the lawn mower test. Y’know, it would be kind of fun to start up a lawn mower, tape down the dead-man’s handle, tip the mower on its side, and then throw the phone into the spinning blade. From a safe distance, of course. And from behind a protective something-or-other. And you’d want to videotape it, rather than take pictures of it with the other phone. Matter of fact, you could put the new phone in front of your protective barrier to demonstrate what happens to Bad Old Phones that Defy Your Will. Plus, as long as you’re going to all this trouble, you’d probably want to throw some golf balls and bananas into the mower blade, too. As controls. You understand. But the point is anticipating that marvellous _KKRRNK_ when the phone disappears into thousands of tiny fragments. (If you don’t have a mower, you could rent a bark chipper…) ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/42 "2004-02-17T02:10:10Z")
One word: Slingshot. They sell really big slingshots for shooting water balloons. You have two friends to hold the ends of the elastic band, and send the phone into the next zip code. Or better yet, tie the band between two trees, get a power winch to pull it back a few hundred feet, drop the phone into the cup and let her go. Aim for the International Space Station. You’ll be the first person to put a handheld electronic device into orbit. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/43 "2004-02-17T03:37:54Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Y’know, it would be kind of fun to start up a lawn mower, tape down the dead-man’s handle, tip the mower on its side, and then throw the phone into the spinning blade… \ And Bruce\_Daddy has a new job, now, so he can afford to rent the Mythbusters to conduct the experiment. ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/44 "2004-02-17T03:54:28Z")
I am really digging **da pope** ’s suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/45 "2004-02-17T12:40:33Z")
> [@grisham](#): > > One request dont do it to a unsuspecting teenaged boy. I had that happen to me but it was one of my moms friends playing a joke. They hid a bag of feathers in their driveway. I hit it they made me think I had hit their pet goose. Drama ensued not a cool thing to do. One of your mom’s _friends_ did that to you? What a bitch! I would kick the ass of someone doing a crappy thing like that to my boy… I really hate punked-style nasty practical jokes! My suggestion for the OP: do as **ccwaterback** and **da pope** suggest and attach the phone to a helium ballon with a note. I’d recommend writing the URL to this specific thread on the note with a request to come here and tell us where and when it was found. If you wrap the phone nice and tightly before attaching it to the balloon then it should come through the trip OK and we can ask the finder to donate it to a women’s shelter in his or her area. That way, you’ll have the fun of sending the phone into the wild blue yonder; we’ll have the fun of tracking this thread and monitoring the phone’s final whereabouts; and two women’s shelters will reap a benefit – the one in your area that you make a monetary contribution to (I’d hold you to that promise just in case the phone is never seen or heard from again) AND the one in the finders area that, hopefully, will eventually recieve the phone to pass on to a needy person. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/46 "2004-02-17T13:38:37Z")
I’m starting to dig the balloon idea first. That’d be awesome if somebody did find it and posted to this thread. Would anyone be heartbroken if we went the balloon route? ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/47 "2004-02-17T14:26:16Z")
Give it to someone with instructions that they are to give it away to someone else within 24hours. (print these same instructions on the phone). And wait to see how long it takes to get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![french\_frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c77e96/32.png) [@french\_frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/french_frog)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/48 "2004-02-17T15:02:21Z")
You could call Guiness (the book, not the beer) and organize the longest throw of cellphone contest, or something in that matter. You’ll have your picture in the book! You could also create a demonstration and immolate your phone in front of \ headquarters to complain about their rates. Don’t forget to call the local news. As for the balloon route, I’m not heartbroken, but I’ll hope nobody will be headbroken when the ballons will explode and realease the murderous missile 😛 I like \*\* ccwaterback\*\* train wreck idea 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![grisham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@grisham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grisham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/49 "2004-02-17T15:18:35Z")
Okay make the phone into a chain letter sort of thing. Leave instructions on how to post here. Once they leave the post they must send it back into orbit for someone else to find. When they send it off it must contain instructions like they received. Then we can track exactly how far it goes and how it got there. Plus we get to see how they send it off(slingshot, spud gun, balloon, etc.) Yes they pulled that joke on me but I guess I forgot to mention my revenge. I shrinkwrapped her car. I have a buddy at ups and he brought me a roll of shrink wrap. Got it on there so tight she had to cut it off … ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/50 "2004-02-17T22:07:55Z")
Alright, balloon it is. I may have to wait until Saturday, given the time involved. Here’s the plan: I’ll go to Zany Brainy or whatever the hell that store is and get a helium tank and some balloons. Mylar, I suppose. I’ll then package the phone in a small cardboard box, sealed with packing tape and water resistant agents. Enclosed will be a piece of paper that reads: “Can you hear me now? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4554604](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4554604)” We’ll see anyone finds it and posts here. Sound good? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/51 "2004-02-18T00:47:18Z")
Sounds like fun. One additional recommendation: Put some styrofoam or something in the box with the phone. That way, if the balloons manage to take the phone out over water, the box will float instead of disappearing to the bottom. Who knows, you might even save Tom Hanks from that island. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/52 "2004-02-18T07:52:49Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > Sound good? That sounds great. I hope it doesn’t get shot down by home-security anti-terrorist forces 🙂 Where will you be starting from? ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/53 "2004-02-18T12:27:31Z")
Wonderful. I ditto the styrofoam, too. When you gonna do it? ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/54 "2004-02-18T12:30:34Z")
Oh, and you shouldn’t have to _buy_ a helium tank (they’re pretty expensive) – just get the phone all wrapped and ready and go down to your nearest craft store and buy a dozen newly inflated ballons. Then go to your lift-off site and attach as many of your dozen as needed to carry the box aloft (at least 6, I would guess). ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/55 "2004-02-18T13:15:29Z")
Sounds like a great idea to me with one caveat…is it possible that someone could get hurt on it’s decent back to earth? Also, I’ll bet you’ll need a more than a few of those balloons to sufficiently raise the weight of the phone/packaging. OK, I’ll shut up now. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/56 "2004-02-18T13:32:18Z")
**ccwaterback** , I guess I’ll do it from my front yard. My neighbors already think I’m an idiot anyway. **Jess** , Saturday is the day. And I’m not talking about those big ass helium tanks, I’m talking about the little ones you can buy at Wal-Mart. They’re for parties and shit like that. Hell, I don’t know **Ruby** , think I ought to put a parachute on it? I don’t exactly live in a very populated area, the best chance we have is if it wanders north into the city. Chances are it will land in the woods. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/57 "2004-02-18T13:40:54Z")
How about a parachute, encapsulated in those balloon-looking things that the Mars rovers were in, and enclosing a 647 page legal disclaimer? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/58 "2004-02-18T14:23:40Z")
Be sure the phone is labeled by the battery. _Property Of: Annoying Neighbor Next Door 123 Nexttome St. Simpsonville, SC 12345_ ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/59 "2004-02-18T18:21:06Z")
Yeah, just in case the thing drops on the middle of I-85 and causes a 4 hour traffic tie-up I want the cops to know where to go. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199/60 "2004-02-18T19:11:11Z")
One safety measure would be inflating one balloon much more than the rest, so when the Bruce\_Daddy-1 comunications satellite reaches high altitude only that ballon will blowup, and the rest should provide a slow but declining orbit. In any case don´t make it too buoyant, it wouldn´t be nice to read on the news that a commercial airliner had to make an emergency landing when, what appears to be the remainings of a cell phone, where ingested by an engine. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-got-a-new-cell-phone-lets-have-some-fun-with-the-old-one/229199.md?page=4)