# I just had a few LDS "missionaries" visit my house. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749 "2006-03-24T18:21:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/21 "2006-03-24T19:48:50Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Get a [broadsword](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2826351&postcount=18). I was hoping someone could dig that anecdote out. Brilliance, sheer brilliance. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/22 "2006-03-24T19:49:12Z")
> [@E. Thorp](#): > > “We couldn’t help overhearing that you have a Book of Mormon. Could you give it back to us?” What? Why would they want it back? The copies I see in motel rooms all over the country say feel free to take it if you want it. And you can request yourself a [free copy](http://www.mormon.org/freeoffers/0,17785,2071-1-1,00.html?src=google) though the church’s website. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/23 "2006-03-24T20:12:44Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > What? Why would they want it back? The copies I see in motel rooms all over the country say feel free to take it if you want it. And you can request yourself a [free copy](http://www.mormon.org/freeoffers/0,17785,2071-1-1,00.html?src=google) though the church’s website. I thought it was the Gideon Bible that was in hotels, not the Book of Mormon? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/24 "2006-03-24T20:15:42Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I thought it was the Gideon Bible that was in hotels, not the Book of Mormon? I got my copy of the Book of Mormon at a hotel in Manhattan. I’ve seen it elsewhere in the Midwest, too. Generally speaking, the Book of Mormon is found _in addition_ to the Gideon bible - not in place of. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/25 "2006-03-24T20:18:27Z")
I should point out that Airman didn’t say anything about offering an alcoholic beverage, although I don’t think we have anything non-caffeinated that isn’t water or milk that’s a few days past the date on the jug. I’m cool with the Mormons. They’re pretty nice, and one of my closest friends at school is a lapsed Mormon. But, sweetheart, if you ever let in a JW, I will kill you. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/26 "2006-03-24T20:22:59Z")
Sigh. I’ve never had LDS missionaries, but last Saturday I had my very first JWs as a homeowner. I _hate_ it because they’re so _nice_ and I just can’t get rid of them. I try, but I can’t be firm with them because they’re so _nice_ and genuine, and there I am standing on my doorstep in my robe and slippers for twenty minutes politely listening and ending up with _Awake!_ out of, I dunno, good breeding or something. It’s like my normally very assertive brain runs out my ears and I can’t think of anything intelligent to say - to try to get rid of these guys,I actually said, get this, “I’m not religious.” After it got out of my mouth I could have just sunk through the floor in misery. That’s like waving meat in front of dogs. They left me with just _Awake_, no _Watchtower_s, I guess because they thought I needed training wheels or something. Didn’t mention that while I’m a hard agnostic now, I used to teach Presbyterian Sunday School as a teenager. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/27 "2006-03-24T20:35:12Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I always say “Sure! I’d love to hear the Word! Come on in and we’ll get naked!” I still haven’t heard the Word. Well, that’s cause you’ve gotta get the BDSM gear out first, and then they tell you the Word. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/28 "2006-03-24T20:39:36Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You don’t? But, how do you know who’s winning?" That’s beautiful. You’d think the church leaders would eventually initiate some kinda scorekeeping so new members would have a chance to bump out some of the “original” 144,000 that are supposed to rule in heaven with Christ. What’s the point of all that witnessing if you’re just gonna be trapped here on earth with the rest of the righteous plebes when the end comes. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/29 "2006-03-24T20:43:15Z")
When I was in high school, one of my best friends was LDS and I asked her some questions about her faith. She told me that the elders (LDS speak for missionaries…they weren’t much older than myself) could answer my questions better than she could. Another curious friend and I then went ahead and participated in the “discussions”, a series of six (in reality, five, since the sixth is a visit to church) classes on LDS faith and history. I found it fascinating. The elders were very nice, and didn’t seem at all offended or upset that I wasn’t interested in being baptized. And the extra bonus: not long afterwards, they came by my house, but when they saw me at the door (the discussions had all been held at my friend’s house and they didn’t know where I lived) they laughed, apologized for bothering me, and went on their way. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/30 "2006-03-24T20:48:09Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > I got my copy of the Book of Mormon at a hotel in Manhattan. I’ve seen it elsewhere in the Midwest, too. Generally speaking, the Book of Mormon is found _in addition_ to the Gideon bible - not in place of. Must have been a Marriott hotel. IIRC, Mr. Marriott is Mormon, so all rooms have the BoM. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/31 "2006-03-24T20:53:45Z")
We bought our house from Mormons, so we’re probably on the no-visit list, and we’ve never been visited. We were visited by a SWAT team looking for one of their kids, though. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/32 "2006-03-24T21:16:24Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Must have been a Marriott hotel. IIRC, Mr. Marriott is Mormon, so all rooms have the BoM. Ya know what? I think it was. Interesting datum you’ve given me. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/33 "2006-03-24T21:36:28Z")
If you want to get rid of them, not so politiely, you can always use the following. “Go sell Crazy somewhere else. We’re all stocked up here” “No thank you. I’m actually looking forward to going to hell. No missionaries there” ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/34 "2006-03-24T21:50:11Z")
Most missionaries deal with rude comebacks and ‘shocking’ comments all day long. A simple and civil “no thank you” is a breath of fresh air to them, and they may well thank you for it. Get a returned missionary to tell you his or her stories sometime. Like the time my BIL was mugged in NYC, but he only had an apple, or my husband’s friend who managed to get on the local drug lord’s happy list and was occasionally given rides in his fancy car and urged to use his cell phone to call family…RM’s always have good stories. ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/35 "2006-03-24T22:04:27Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > If you want to get rid of them, not so politiely, you can always use the following. > > “Go sell Crazy somewhere else. We’re all stocked up here” > > “No thank you. I’m actually looking forward to going to hell. No missionaries there” Or you could treat them like the [little old lady](http://www.badmovies.org/movies/orgazmo/orgazmo1.wav) in [Orgazmo](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124819/). (Warning, .wav file, NSFW!) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/36 "2006-03-24T22:07:56Z")
I’ve always found them polite. I say “We are devout Unitiarians and not interested, thank you.” (They never get the joke, however). One of my girlfriends, an atheist and a very “spiritual” person despite it (by which I mean she has a good grasp on her connectedness in the world - not that she believes in a diety or a soul), had the JW come by every weekend for several months - until she moved. She’d recently lost her bio-Dad and was quite upset, and her husband was, I think, a little worn out from the whole thing. She said the JWs were the cheapest therapy she’d ever gotten. So kind, they’d show up every week and listen to her cry and just listen to her talk. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/37 "2006-03-24T22:43:24Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > What? Why would they want it back? The copies I see in motel rooms all over the country say feel free to take it if you want it. And you can request yourself a [free copy](http://www.mormon.org/freeoffers/0,17785,2071-1-1,00.html?src=google) though the church’s website. When I was retelling the story they overheard, I may have been less than completely reverent. My impression was that they wanted to rescue the BoM from the den of sarcastic godlessness that was my apartment. Not saying this is general LDS policy, just a couple of well-meaning young missionaries giving in to vigilantism. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/38 "2006-03-24T23:06:12Z")
I have good friends who are LDS, both of whom are returned missionaries. My understanding is that most LDS missionaries are busy enough with people who have an interest in hearing their message that they don’t feel the need to spend a lot of time pushing themselves on those who are uninterested. Essentially, they said that they had a “low hanging fruit” mentality, seeking to convert those who showed a good chance of being converted, and leaving the rest for another time (or perhaps another eternity, as the case may be). They recognized that it was futile to push their message on the unreceptive. Personally, I’ve found Mormons quite willing to discuss their religion and share how important and valuable it is to them. But, they seem to respect that others have differing belief systems, and may be unwilling or uninterested in choosing to join the LDS church. In short, I would expect that most LDS missionaries should be able to be quickly warded off by a firm but polite rebuff. Other religion missionaries may be another story. ---
**Author:** ![raindog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@raindog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindog)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/39 "2006-03-24T23:18:24Z")
> [@FlyingRamenMonster](#): > > I don’t know about the Mormons, but with the Jehovah’s Witnesses it’s because they keep. Coming. Back. We live between two kingdom halls and when we first moved in we got doorknockers every week. If you were incredibly busy you could tell them and they’d leave. But if you weren’t, what can you do? You don’t want to seem rude. Better let them in. So they come in, and talk, and talk. You tell them you’re not really interested. They talk some more and give you copies of Awake! and The Watchtower. They leave. After a while you stop letting them in, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to get their foot in the door. A complete disinterest in converting doesn’t seem to faze them, so what can you do? “Kindly leave and take your publications; we already got a set from the OTHER kingdom hall” is rude so we just stopped answering the door when we could see it was them. Not in a we’re-home-and-we’re-ignoring you kind of way, but in a let’s-pretend-we’re-not-home-so-they-don’t-get-their-feelings-hurt-and-we-don’t-have-to-talk-to-them kind of way. But they still leave copies of their magazines outside our door. That sort of thing can annoy people. But then again, some people just want an excuse to be assholes. It’s cool to hate Jesus! Lol. **FYI…** Call the local Kingdom Hall—the one closest to you first— and tell them that you want to be put on the “Do Not Call” list. If you live in their ‘territory’ (think “parish”) they will add your address (they don’t need your name) to this list and they will not call on you. (occasionally mistakes are made, but by and large this list is very much respected) Generally some one will call _in a year_ to see if still have the same wishes, in which case the list is ‘updated.’ (or to see if there are new owners/tenants etc) You’ll find them to be pleasant and non-confrontational when you call. (the person who answers may not know if you live in that territory, so you may need to call both Kingdom Halls to be sure) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749/40 "2006-03-24T23:42:11Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > If you want to get rid of them, not so politiely, you can always use the following. “Sorry, I’m just about to start masturbating. Can you come back in an hour and thirty-seven minutes? Remind me to shake with the left.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-had-a-few-lds-missionaries-visit-my-house/349749.md?page=3)