# I just learned that one of my coworkers speaks Klingon. Help me make fun of him. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553 "2003-04-04T21:05:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/21 "2003-04-05T03:54:19Z")
Gobear, like Elvish or Esperanto (::ducks::), Klingon is a simplified artifical language. It’s a lot easier to learn than a real language and could be a more fun way to kill a couple weekends than trying to learn pidgin Spanish. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/22 "2003-04-05T04:16:11Z")
**asterion** , you think Elvish is simplified?? Which one? Quenya, Sindarin, Doriathrin, Nandorin, Ilkorin, or Avarin? JRRT was a cunning linguist, I don’t think he _simplified_ anything he did related to languages. **dorkus** , greet him in Quenya. It’s a much higher state of geekdom to speak some elvish! 😃 On coffee break, you can say: > [@](#): > > Sí man i yulma nin enquantuva? > (Who now shall refill the cup for me?) ---
**Author:** ![Simbelmyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Simbelmyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simbelmyne)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/23 "2003-04-05T04:19:35Z")
Hit him with Shakespeare: That such a slave as this should wear a sword, who wears no honesty. Kent, KING LEAR, II, ii ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/24 "2003-04-05T04:28:22Z")
“You – the player who is moving now: I shall call you _qagh_!” ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/25 "2003-04-05T04:45:53Z")
Not to throw a damper on all this geek-taunting hilarity, but how is a person who chose to learn Klingon any different from a person who has memorized twenty years of sports statistics? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/26 "2003-04-05T06:11:39Z")
Well, at least more people speak Klingon than [Navajo](http://www.theonion.com/onion3526/klingon_navajo.html). , so the language isn’t totally useless. I was going to mention learning Elvish to out-geek him, but \*\* Qadgop the Mercotan \*\* beat me too it. Now, the only language I can think of that rivals Elvish for geekiness would be [Lojban](http://www.lojban.org/) so learn that. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/27 "2003-04-05T08:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simbelmyne \* > \*\*Hit him with Shakespeare: > That such a slave as this should wear a sword, who wears no honesty. > Kent, KING LEAR, II, ii \*\* In the original Klingon, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/28 "2003-04-05T10:34:44Z")
Tell him you saw the pictures of the apartment he has in his mom’s basement, of course : [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=173199](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=173199) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/29 "2003-04-05T14:33:28Z")
You said “cunning linguist.” Heh heh heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/30 "2003-04-05T15:33:37Z")
I don’t see why you all feel the need to belittle the guy. We all have hobbies. He has chosen to learn a language in his spare time. I read, or sew, or whatever else. Cut the guy a break. ---
**Author:** ![MrPeabody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@MrPeabody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrPeabody)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/31 "2003-04-05T16:30:17Z")
Ginger is right. Why do you feel you have to make fun of this person’s hobby? . Is he a nice guy, or some kind of huge jerk? So far I see no need to make fun of the poor guy. How would you like it if people made fun of you because you were so lame, you needed to go to an internet message board to get help in making fun of a geek? I mean isn’t every one on this board a little geeky? Live and let live. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/32 "2003-04-05T16:38:31Z")
I’m not a geek. _ **I’m SooperCool!** _ _you can tell how cool I am by my lack of spelling skills_ ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a698b9/32.png) [@Alan\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/33 "2003-04-05T17:01:12Z")
I don’t think someone with “ein bat’leH in (Ihren) Hosen” would be glad to see anyone! Dam’ uncomfortable if you ask me. –Alan Q ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/34 "2003-04-05T17:49:40Z")
Get him so drunk that he passes out. Then dress him up as a Romulan and take blackmail pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/35 "2003-04-05T21:17:26Z")
**GingerOfTheNorth** and **MrPeabody** : I can’t speak for the others in this thread but my posts are tongue in cheek. I don’t know how obvious it is to people that aren’t fans of Trek but any Trekker or Trekkie reading my posts should be able to discern that I’m a huge geek too. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![magog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/fbc32d/32.png) [@magog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/36 "2003-04-06T00:40:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*Actually, the sad thing about this Klingon-speaking clown is that he taught himself to speak an artificial language that has no native-speaking constituency. He could have taught himself Spanish so that he could improve his employment opportunities and converse with Central American immigrants. … > > Sad. \*\* This is sarcasm, right? ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/37 "2003-04-08T20:17:00Z")
[Again The Onion proves that there’s always something sadder.](http://www.theonion.com/onion3913/dont_come_crying.html) ---
**Author:** ![ThatGuyWithPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@ThatGuyWithPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatGuyWithPants)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/38 "2003-04-08T20:37:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aesiron \* > \*\ ***GingerOfTheNorth** and **MrPeabody** : I can’t speak for the others in this thread but my posts are tongue in cheek. I don’t know how obvious it is to people that aren’t fans of Trek but any Trekker or Trekkie reading my posts should be able to discern that I’m a huge geek too. 😛 \*\* I second that. I’m an uber-geek. I make fun of myself. It comes with the territory. 😃 I’m never harsh when I say stuff like that though. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/39 "2003-04-08T21:02:26Z")
I wouldn’t have pursued this as far as a thread if this guy wasn’t a colossal jerk on top of speaking Klingon. He looked kind of embarassed last time I saw him. I guess laughing at him after he came clean about speaking Klingon wasn’t the best thing, but damn some of the others are much funnier. ---
**Author:** ![Quantum\_Butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e79b87/32.png) [@Quantum\_Butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quantum_Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553/40 "2003-04-08T21:12:19Z")
Hey, my aunt knows Klingon! Of course, she also knows a bunch of other languages, including Spanish, French, and Latin that I know about. I aspire to be a geek of her magnitude one day. Qadgop: Mae govannen, mellon! 😃 (Things we learn in online Tolkien RPGs…) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-learned-that-one-of-my-coworkers-speaks-klingon-help-me-make-fun-of-him/166553.md?page=3)