# I just saw 47 Ronin and it was, possibly, the worst movie ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 29, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399 "2013-12-29T08:13:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/1 "2013-12-29T08:13:12Z")
I kid you not, I have no idea how they screwed this movie up so badly. The source material is fantastic, an epic story of betrayal and loss, humiliation and redemption, honor, integrity and self sacrifice. The Wiki version [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty-seven\_R%C5%8Dnin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty-seven_R%C5%8Dnin) I personally like the version from the movie “Ronin” This by “Hollywood Standards” should be a no brainer. This movie needs a 2000 word script, a few decent actors and a director that can make a movie. $225 Million should be enough to promote and make the movie. Instead I get, Keanu Reeves, a chick that turns into drapes and David Bowie as the “Terribly Rendered Fox”. YHTBFKM **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/2 "2013-12-29T08:29:57Z")
Poor Keanu can’t catch a break anymore. He’s turning into a less crazed Nicolas Cage. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/3 "2013-12-29T08:57:48Z")
Yep, from all reports they knew this was a huge turkey last year, and that is why they waited until now to release it. They have been cleverly including the loss in increments every quarter since then, so they wouldn’t have to take one huge hit from losing what they expect to be about $175 million. I think they spent about 30 cents in marketing this film. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/4 "2013-12-29T10:38:30Z")
I saw a commercial for this movie and I said to my wife, “wow, that looks like a piece of shit.” Starring Keanu Reeves was my first hint. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/5 "2013-12-29T11:00:19Z")
I couldn’t even tell Reeves was in it, from the TV trailer. All Ai could see was ultra- fast 2 second scene cuts. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/6 "2013-12-29T14:51:13Z")
When does Hollywood learn not to drop that kind of money on these things? There has been a ridiculous string of very high budget flops over the last 2-3 years. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/7 "2013-12-29T15:24:02Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > The source material is fantastic, an epic story of betrayal and loss, humiliation and redemption, honor, integrity and self sacrifice. I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy the film less than just reading your post as Captain Kirk. “Fantastic! An _epic_ story – ofBetrayalAndLoss, huuu . . . _miliation,_ and: Redemption!” “Honor! Integrity, and: _ **SELF . . . SACRIFICE!** _” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/8 "2013-12-29T15:26:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Instead I get, Keanu Reeves, a chick that turns into drapes and David Bowie as the “Terribly Rendered Fox”. What does the Terribly Rendered Fox say? ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/9 "2013-12-29T15:34:20Z")
Even with [Zombie Boy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Genest)making an appearance it still sucks ? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/10 "2013-12-29T15:43:48Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > When does Hollywood learn not to drop that kind of money on these things? There has been a ridiculous string of very high budget flops over the last 2-3 years. It seemed like a good idea at the time. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/11 "2013-12-29T16:47:10Z")
…and the time was like almost 5 years ago. They probably were too far in to just can it if they at some point realized it was turning out badly. > [@Baker](#): > > I couldn’t even tell Reeves was in it, from the TV trailer. All Ai could see was ultra- fast 2 second scene cuts. Can you blame them? 😛 BTW… Come he hell on, people in the movie biz, it’s 2013, enough, if you’re doing a movie of an epic story entirely set in a non-Western civilization, why shoehorn in a Western “star”? Nevermind, I know why: because nobody in Hollywood would sink $200 million into doing _The 47 Ronin_ without some _“Big Hollywood box-office-star name”_ to sell it in the Americas, Europe, the former Bloc, and the Middle East. The movie would simply not have been made, unless they got Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt or\*… whaddya mean… damn, oh well, then what about… no good either, huh? oh… so, who do we got left… really?? Oh, all right, Keanu it is.\* Oh, and it’s [the director’s feature-film debut](http://variety.com/2009/film/news/universal-circles-rinsch-for-47-ronin-1118011491/), and his prior credit? > [@Variety Magazine](#): > > Pic is a priority project for Universal, and it is unusual to see a first-timer entrusted to helm a film with a large budget and tentpole aspirations. > > Rinsch, who shoots commercials for RSA […] is known for shooting visual and stylish blurbs for such brands as Mercedes, Sprite, BMW and Heineken. :smack: For a $200+ million project?? ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/12 "2013-12-29T17:35:41Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > When does Hollywood learn not to drop that kind of money on these things? There has been a ridiculous string of very high budget flops over the last 2-3 years. What kind of money on what things? What things should they be financing instead? It’s easy to play savvy studio head when you know what the final product looks like. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/13 "2013-12-29T17:45:25Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Come he hell on, people in the movie biz, it’s 2013, enough, if you’re doing a movie of an epic story entirely set in a non-Western civilization, why shoehorn in a Western “star”? Nevermind, I know why: because nobody in Hollywood would sink $200 million into doing _The 47 Ronin_ without some _“Big Hollywood box-office-star name”_ to sell it in the Americas, Europe, the former Bloc, and the Middle East. The movie would simply not have been made, unless they got Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt or\*… whaddya mean… damn, oh well, then what about… no good either, huh? oh… so, who do we got left… really?? Oh, all right, Keanu it is.\* To be fair, Reeves is a quarter Chinese. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/14 "2013-12-29T17:48:33Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > What does the Terribly Rendered Fox say? “Chaos reigns.” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/15 "2013-12-29T17:49:58Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Oh, and it’s [the director’s feature-film debut](http://variety.com/2009/film/news/universal-circles-rinsch-for-47-ronin-1118011491/), and his prior credit? > :smack: For a $200+ million project?? Sometime the studios like to hire a young, inexperienced director who’ll do whatever the suits and focus groups say and won’t bother them with stuff like “artistic vision” or “integrity”. It never works. ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/16 "2013-12-29T18:20:01Z")
A complete bastardization of an iconic historical event. The fantasy elements, and having Keanu as the savior of Japan were huge mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/17 "2013-12-29T18:26:12Z")
Without knowing anything about it except what the commercial told me, I thought “oh, so seven samurai just weren’t good enough huh? Pffft, kids these days.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/18 "2013-12-29T19:04:42Z")
Man of Tai Chi wasn’t too bad and Keanu directed that. I have not seen his movie on the transition to digital filming, but heard it was pretty good. He isn’t totally lost to us, so to speak. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/19 "2013-12-29T20:29:35Z")
When I first saw an ad for this I was shocked. Fire breathing dragons??? Good grief. And to make things worse, reviewers refer to the original 47 Ronin as a mythological tale? You mean like The Alamo is mythological? Sheesh. It deserves to fail big time. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399/20 "2013-12-29T20:52:40Z")
I was hoping against hope that the title was just a coincidence, and that it wasn’t supposed to be based on the iconic Japanese story. So much for that. Dragons indeed. NHK has their prestige, year-long an-hour-per-week historical drama, and one year they did this story. Most of the story was spent between the time the young daimyo commits seppuku, and the time years later when his followers finally get their revenge. A lot of this comprised fairly quiet domestic scenes, but with this huge obligation hanging over everyone’s head. It was one of the best dramas they ever did. There has also been at least one excellent Japanese movie of this story (that I have seen). I think a lot of the problem with a story like this for American audiences is that they won’t understand, at first, what is the big deal. The philosophy of bushido is (literally) foreign to them. The solution to that problem, if you’re going to do an American movie, is to write the story in such a way that the unfolding story explains the philosophy and by the end, the audience knows what was the big deal. That would have required some thought, though, and some good writing. Dragons are easier, I guess. Roddy [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-47-ronin-and-it-was-possibly-the-worst-movie-ever/677399.md?page=2)