# I just saw Dan Savage speak

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-dan-savage-speak/515682>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 30, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-dan-savage-speak/515682 "2009-10-30T01:27:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-dan-savage-speak/515682/21 "2009-10-31T05:58:42Z")

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> [@nyctea scandiaca](#):
>
> I like Dan Savage a lot too, but just a question: honestly, how would you feel if your girlfriend or wife was having sex with other men? Would that be OK with you? Or conversely, why would you want to have sex with other women if you had a girlfriend or wife whom you love? Just curious.

He’s not saying people should not be monogamous; if that works for you, fine. He’s just saying that some people simply aren’t wired that way, and people should recognize that fact.

As far as the “gays don’t love” is concerned: I was once in a public forum that touched on that subject, and a Black woman in the audience pointed out that “homosexuals have sex, but do not love” (and yes, she did that neck thing while she said it). I introduced my partner, the love of my life, then pointed out to her that there was a time when many people thought Blacks were incapable of love, or any other “human” emotion.

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