# I just saw my sperm. Awesome! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969 "2006-01-21T06:04:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/21 "2006-01-21T19:07:28Z")
\<------------ bites lip frantically. What of Mr. Lifkin, the custodian? Always quick with a mop and a smile. Hmmm… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/22 "2006-01-21T19:20:54Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > (this was in an all-girl’s private school, sperm wasn’t really available at the time) But…well…grr…AAAAHH!! JOKE OVERLOAD!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/23 "2006-01-21T19:36:01Z")
Did they look like [this](http://academic.evergreen.edu/v/vivianoc/homunculus.gif)? Work safe link- a 17th century drawing of sperm under a microscope reflecting what the scientists “knew” about conception. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/24 "2006-01-21T20:08:29Z")
If you take photos, just FYI: Girls **will** find it creepy if you show them the photos on a first date. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/25 "2006-01-21T20:14:41Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > I’m going to be a good girl and not mention anything about Freud and microscopes. I’m really not. Aren’t you thinking of telescopes? Astronomers do it with big long tubes… But now I have an urge to buy a microscope. Seriously. Are digital [USB microscopes](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/77aa/) any good, or am I better off with similarly priced optical microscopes? ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/26 "2006-01-21T21:09:54Z")
Did you pretend you were a CSI guy and make a funny comment after you looked at 'em in the microscope? Lab Guy: “Well, his boys are dead now.” Grissom: “Yeah…just like him.” ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/27 "2006-01-21T22:43:59Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > So … I’m the only one who laughed at the first line of the OP? The art of the straight line is a much unrecognized doping talent. > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Didja pan fry them after you were done? Thank the dope I don’t have to. As a mod would say, asked and answered. > [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Wish I had me a microscope now. I also would love to swab various surfaces around the house for bacteria, but I have no idea how powerful a microscope I would need to see them. I believe 1200x is the best you can do with an optical scope. And even by blowing up the sperm blam! 1200 times you can see them but almost no detail, only lots of movement. Maybe when I get better at preparing slides, these were my first in about 15 years, I can get better at it. I sure wish I had dual eyepieces though. > [@silenus](#): > > Wasn’t sperm the first thing Leeunwenhoek looked at through his microscope? What is it with guys and 'scopes? 😃 You wouldn’t believe how much of that stuff we have laying around (see **twicks** ), you ever see that 20/20 bit? > [@Sampiro](#): > > Did they look like [this](http://academic.evergreen.edu/v/vivianoc/homunculus.gif)? Work safe link- a 17th century drawing of sperm under a microscope reflecting what the scientists “knew” about conception. I couldn’t actually see their tails with the scope I had. They looked like wiggly radioactive maggots. Lovely I know. > [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > If you take photos, just FYI: Girls **will** find it creepy if you show them the photos on a first date. I really wanted to impress you all. I’d have been a hit at the next dope pic thread with my “close ups.” I tried again today but at only about 15 square microns in area the head just wont show up even 1200 times bigger. > [@scr4](#): > > But now I have an urge to buy a microscope. Seriously. Are digital [USB microscopes](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/77aa/) any good, or am I better off with similarly priced optical microscopes? Cool! But at only 200x no way you’ll see sperm with that. Thankfully sperm are very small compared to other cells. White bloods cells would be fun though. The regular microscopes I used in college were lenses built into hunks a metal, sturdy as all get out. The one I have now is plastic and extremely light. When you adjust the focus all shaking of your hand are transferred in the piece. There’s another good one **twicks** > [@Marine\_One](#): > > Did you pretend you were a CSI guy and make a funny comment after you looked at 'em in the microscope? It felt more dramatic. Maybe I should have done like Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/28 "2006-01-21T22:49:11Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > That microscope won’t do you any good once you’ve gone blind, you know. He blinded himself with science! ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/29 "2006-01-21T23:48:48Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > He blinded himself with science! Getting sperm in your eye does blind ya for awhile. How do I know? I, uh, saw it on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/30 "2006-01-22T00:11:26Z")
So you just, like, put your keyboard under the 'scope, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/31 "2006-01-22T00:26:33Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > Sperm are half-life Heh, I was considering a joke based on my week old off spring 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969/32 "2006-01-22T05:17:36Z")
Fortunatly for you, you only needed it to see the product and not the production. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-my-sperm-awesome/340969.md?page=1)