<------------ bites lip frantically. What of Mr. Lifkin, the custodian? Always quick with a mop and a smile. Hmmm…
But…well…grr…AAAAHH!! JOKE OVERLOAD!!!
Did they look like this? Work safe link- a 17th century drawing of sperm under a microscope reflecting what the scientists “knew” about conception.
If you take photos, just FYI: Girls will find it creepy if you show them the photos on a first date.
Aren’t you thinking of telescopes?
Astronomers do it with big long tubes…
But now I have an urge to buy a microscope. Seriously. Are digital USB microscopes any good, or am I better off with similarly priced optical microscopes?
Did you pretend you were a CSI guy and make a funny comment after you looked at 'em in the microscope?
Lab Guy: “Well, his boys are dead now.”
Grissom: “Yeah…just like him.”
The art of the straight line is a much unrecognized doping talent.
Thank the dope I don’t have to. As a mod would say, asked and answered.
I believe 1200x is the best you can do with an optical scope. And even by blowing up the sperm blam! 1200 times you can see them but almost no detail, only lots of movement. Maybe when I get better at preparing slides, these were my first in about 15 years, I can get better at it. I sure wish I had dual eyepieces though.
You wouldn’t believe how much of that stuff we have laying around (see twicks), you ever see that 20/20 bit?
I couldn’t actually see their tails with the scope I had. They looked like wiggly radioactive maggots. Lovely I know.
I really wanted to impress you all. I’d have been a hit at the next dope pic thread with my “close ups.” I tried again today but at only about 15 square microns in area the head just wont show up even 1200 times bigger.
Cool! But at only 200x no way you’ll see sperm with that. Thankfully sperm are very small compared to other cells. White bloods cells would be fun though. The regular microscopes I used in college were lenses built into hunks a metal, sturdy as all get out. The one I have now is plastic and extremely light. When you adjust the focus all shaking of your hand are transferred in the piece. There’s another good one twicks
It felt more dramatic. Maybe I should have done like Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes?
He blinded himself with science!
Getting sperm in your eye does blind ya for awhile.
How do I know? I, uh, saw it on TV.
So you just, like, put your keyboard under the 'scope, or what?
Heh, I was considering a joke based on my week old off spring 
Fortunatly for you, you only needed it to see the product and not the production.