# I just saw the neatest reworking of "The Maltese Falcon"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-the-neatest-reworking-of-the-maltese-falcon/29239>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 14, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-the-neatest-reworking-of-the-maltese-falcon/29239 "2000-08-14T02:27:27Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-the-neatest-reworking-of-the-maltese-falcon/29239/1 "2000-08-14T02:27:27Z")

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It was “The Matterhorn Affair” from “The Man from UNCLE” TV series.

Instead of Sydney Greenstreet as “Caspar ‘The Fat Man’ Guttman,” it was (menacing-Eastern-European-at-large villain actor) Oscar Beregi as “Rodney Backstreet.”

Instead of Peter Lorre as “Joel Cairo,” it was Vito Scotti as “Beirut.”

Bill Dana played a schlep named “Marvin Klump” who ended up with the microfilm that everyone wanted. (Don’t know how Dana beat out schlep-at-large Marvin Kaplan for that plum role, though).

(And there was a brief appearance by Hal “Otis, the Mayberry town drunk” Smith as an auto dealer.)

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**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-the-neatest-reworking-of-the-maltese-falcon/29239/2 "2000-08-14T02:38:20Z")

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Okay, **Mjollnir,** let us in on it…where are you seeing old “Man from U.N.C.L.E.” episodes? I haven’t had my illya kurayakined for simply _ages!_

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**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2000, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-the-neatest-reworking-of-the-maltese-falcon/29239/3 "2000-08-14T12:59:13Z")

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TNT shows them sporadically between 4 and 5 AM Eastern time.

I tape 'em, and watch 'em after the fact (as I do with all TV programs that I watch).

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**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-saw-the-neatest-reworking-of-the-maltese-falcon/29239/4 "2000-08-14T13:42:38Z")

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Uke: I got illya kurayakined for the first time in a long time this weekend at a rained-out performance of Julius Caesar in Central Park. David McCallum played JC.

He’s aged pretty well, but his speech was disturbingly Cary Grantesque! My friends and I half expected him to say – in the style and tone of Grant’s “Ju-day, Ju-day, Ju-day” – “Bru-te. Bru-te. Bru-te.”