# I just took my Dad to the ER **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643 "2003-02-04T03:51:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/1 "2003-02-04T03:51:23Z")
Dad’s had 7 bypasses on his heart. He has arhythmia (sp?) He refused to get a needed operation for months. Tonight at 6PM, Dad needed to go to the ER. He’s at the St. Thomas Cardiac center in Nashville now. We’re under orders not to go there tonight. I feel so useless, so worthless. I’ve never been able to help anybody I love when they need it. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/2 "2003-02-04T03:57:25Z")
_hugs_ I wish I had words of wisdom to give you… My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please let us know how both of you are… ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/3 "2003-02-04T03:58:00Z")
I hope everything works out okay. Don’t be too hard on yourself, either. There may not have been anthing you could have done one way or another. ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/4 "2003-02-04T04:04:54Z")
**Rico** and I are sending our prayers and good thoughts to you, your father, and the rest of your family. Speaking as a stubborn bitch who does things in her own time, wether it be good for me or not, you really can’t force someone to get treatment if they aren’t ready to. Please try to not be so hard on yourself over this. It really was out of your control as long as he was calling the shots for his health care. Like it or not, we have to let people do that. It’s just not fair of us to take that kind of control away from someone. I’d bet you are feeling helpless right now and that’s compounding the other feelings you have expressed. Take care of yourself and keep us informed. **{{{ Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor }}}** ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/5 "2003-02-04T04:13:07Z")
Many warm thoughts and hopeful wishes heading to you and your family, **Bosda**. I understand your pain and turmoil, right now. My email is in my profile if you need to vent or just talk. ---
**Author:** ![lovelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@lovelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelee)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/6 "2003-02-04T05:27:27Z")
I hope all goes well for you and your family, Bosda. ---
**Author:** ![truthbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@truthbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthbot)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/7 "2003-02-04T07:36:15Z")
Best wishes to you and your dad, Bosda. Sending positive thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/8 "2003-02-04T13:21:22Z")
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad, Bosda. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/9 "2003-02-04T13:39:44Z")
Update– Dad is alive as of this post. He goes under the knife today, this AM. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/10 "2003-02-04T13:45:14Z")
Wishing you well **Bosda**. The St. Thomas is supposed to be pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/11 "2003-02-04T14:05:31Z")
Sending warm thoughts your way Bosda. I hope it all works out for you. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/12 "2003-02-04T14:08:55Z")
**Bosda** - I’ve had many family members spend lots of time in St. Thomas, and they’re very good, very caring. Although my mother (who went to St. Thomas for a mastectomy and an aorta replacement) chose Vanderbilt for her recent double bypass/double valve replacement. She just didn’t like the hotshot young cardiac surgeon at St. Thomas. {{{hugs}}} I’m right in Smyrna if you need anything. I know sometimes it can be hard to get home to feed pets, etc. StG ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/13 "2003-02-04T14:48:14Z")
**Bosda** , I’m thinking of you and your dad. I hope everything works out ok. I’m sure it will. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/14 "2003-02-04T15:09:43Z")
\*\*Bosda \*\* The hardest part of being adult is letting other people do their own thing, wallow in their own mistakes because until \*they ask for help on their own \* no matter what you say will go in one ear and out the other. What you can do, instead of massive of amounts of frustration and worry, is change your gear. Stop the worry, it really is not in your hands. Stop the frustration, you are not going to change your Father from being stubborn. What, this isn’t a newsflash to you? Take a different approach: Be amusing, cheerful and (if possible) happy at his bed side. Have a mental list of jokes, anecdotes and quips at the ready. Bring interesting reading material for both of you. Make something like this your mantra: I’m not letting your stubborness and phobias ruin my life as it is ruining yours. This strategy has saved me from the brink of Sanity many times. Best of Everything to You and your Dad. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/15 "2003-02-04T15:29:12Z")
**Bosda** , I hope all goes well with your father’s surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_Schmeese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Marconi\_Schmeese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_Schmeese)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/16 "2003-02-04T15:46:35Z")
**{{{{{Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor}}}}}** You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/17 "2003-02-04T16:00:12Z")
{{{{{ **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor and family** }}}}} Good vibes and prayers being sent. ---
**Author:** ![Spooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Spooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spooky)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/18 "2003-02-04T16:05:12Z")
Best wishes for your Dad. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/19 "2003-02-04T17:30:36Z")
My prayers are with you and your dad during this time, and the rest of your family. I’m here for you if you need anything. Make sure you get plenty of rest as well; you will be better able and equipped to help your dad and your family. {{{{{{Bosda and family}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643/20 "2003-02-05T00:53:14Z")
UPDATE-- surgery has been postponed until Wednesday. A second surgury planned for Friday. I was at the hospital today, & Dad is in good spirits, but worried. Mom is taking this well. Dad’s assistant, Krista, will drive Mom to the hospital tomorrow. Dad will be sedated early, & the operation will start around noon or so. Dad’s orders–“Go to work”. So, I’ll come in after work in the afternoon, when he gets out of post-op. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-took-my-dad-to-the-er/152643.md?page=2)