# I Just Tooted at Work **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767 "2011-11-03T18:44:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/1 "2011-11-03T18:44:31Z")
And I am rather embarrassed about it. How does one handle such a thing socially? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/2 "2011-11-03T18:51:43Z")
I suggest exiting the elevator promptly. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/3 "2011-11-03T18:56:26Z")
Cropdusting ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/4 "2011-11-03T18:58:39Z")
he who smelled it, dealt it. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/5 "2011-11-03T19:00:22Z")
The best policy is to make a joke of it to relax people who are busy being offended. Just throw your hand up and loudly announce, “Yep! That was all me!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/6 "2011-11-03T19:00:41Z")
On parade in the army, the sergeant-major defused a rather insubordinate fart emanating from the ranks by saluting it smartly. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/7 "2011-11-03T19:01:29Z")
I hope you raised your hand first. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/8 "2011-11-03T19:02:54Z")
I just try to make sure it gets to the people who deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/9 "2011-11-03T19:03:54Z")
Look around and say “Whistling trout? Wrong time of year isn’t it?” ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/10 "2011-11-03T19:04:51Z")
I remember Miss Manners writing that while a burp could be nullified with a simple “excuse me”, a fart should be treated by all present as if it never happened. That end of the digestive tract does not exist in polite company. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/11 "2011-11-03T19:08:31Z")
Your company isn’t headed for the hole, are they? ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/12 "2011-11-03T19:31:46Z")
Look around and say “Chriiiist! Did a cow shit in here?” \* \*somewhat obscure movie reference ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/13 "2011-11-03T19:35:21Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > I remember Miss Manners writing that while a burp could be nullified with a simple “excuse me”, a fart should be treated by all present as if it never happened. That end of the digestive tract does not exist in polite company. I, of course, have never committed this social error myself, but I have seen it happen at work and this is how it’s generally treated. Everyone in the office ignores it. And then at break we make fun of whoever did it. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/14 "2011-11-03T19:43:03Z")
Say “barking spiders” rather authoritatively. Then call maintenance. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/15 "2011-11-03T19:44:04Z")
You glare at the guy in the next cubicle, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/16 "2011-11-03T19:44:21Z")
Using cocaine in this day and age is not as acceptable in a business environment as it once was. I would check with my supervisor before doing so again. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/17 "2011-11-03T19:45:10Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > How does one handle such a thing socially? Hard to say. You’re the first one to ever do it. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/18 "2011-11-03T19:52:52Z")
Send an inter office email explaining that somebody farted in your pants. You will get to the bottom of it, even if whomever is responsible doesn’t eventually blurt it out themselves. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/19 "2011-11-03T20:01:28Z")
Could you describe the scene, the incriminating sound, and so on a bit? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/20 "2011-11-03T20:16:21Z")
I wonder, was this at the behest of your B.M.? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767.md?page=2)