# I Just Tooted at Work **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767 "2011-11-03T18:44:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/41 "2011-11-04T14:55:31Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > If deferring the blam were even remotely possible, rest assured that I would have done so. It went BLAM!? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/42 "2011-11-04T15:00:10Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > It went BLAM!? :eek: Don’t they all? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/43 "2011-11-04T15:10:29Z")
“Man, we really ought to get that squeaky floorboard fixed.” ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/44 "2011-11-04T15:14:27Z")
I DID THAT. THAT ONE’S MINE. You gotta own that shit. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/45 "2011-11-04T15:23:58Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > It went BLAM!? :eek: Thanks **Dung Beetle**. This has made me giggle like a drunk moron. Fortunately, I can snap myself out of such puerile behaviour. And start again. By the way, **StusBlues** , next time it happens, put on the Fire Warden’s hat and light it. You’ll be satisfied, and so will OH&S. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/46 "2011-11-04T15:28:19Z")
You must exile yourself from humanity, never to return. [The night that Abu Hasan farted.](http://neshumah.blogspot.com/2011/10/night-that-abu-hasan-farted.html) (This story doesn’t make sense unless it’s viewed in the appropriate context. What people who tell this story always fail to mention is that Bedouins of this time period considered farting in public a social faux pas tantamount to what being revealed as a kiddy diddler is in this culture.) ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/47 "2011-11-04T21:40:08Z")
I almost let one rip yesterday. I was able to tuck it back in. But if I would of been in a straining motion I.E. getting up from my chair I would of tooted. If women were present I’d apologize probably turn red and try to make a joke out of it. But fart’n around men never gets old. The noise in the bathroom is laughed off as a game of Battleshits when two or more are present. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/48 "2011-11-05T22:29:50Z")
That’s what lab fume hoods are for. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/49 "2011-11-06T00:50:33Z")
OMG, I laughed throughout this entire thread. I can’t WAIT to fart at work again! ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/50 "2011-11-06T00:54:36Z")
I just turn up the radio to cover the smell. ---
**Author:** ![festiva76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@festiva76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/festiva76)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/51 "2011-11-06T02:29:45Z")
I fart all the time at work…everyone knows and they accept me for who I am. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/52 "2011-11-07T03:17:47Z")
I can only hope you are a French Bulldog with outstanding keyboard skills, **festiva76**. Or that you do clinical studies for a charcoal capsule manufacturer. ---
**Author:** ![ShermanAter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ShermanAter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShermanAter)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/53 "2011-11-08T08:54:46Z")
“That’s going to itch when it dries” ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/54 "2011-11-08T22:30:58Z")
> [@ShermanAter](#): > > “That’s going to itch when it dries” Hey, Inner Stickler, it isn’t loud enough. Turn it all the way up. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/55 "2011-11-09T00:26:10Z")
I’m just stunned that the OP farts so infrequently that he/she hasn’t done it at work before, and thinks this rare level of farting requires a nutritionist and a diet change! Since my gastric bypass, passing gas is much more frequent, and occasionally too fragrant. I keep a mini-bottle of air freshener handy for those inevitable moments, which my boss teases me about but appreciates (we also use it after the homeless guys walk through). But even before the surgery…gas happens. Follow Miss Manners advice, or just say, “so sorry…excuse me”! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/56 "2011-11-09T00:46:26Z")
I’m so glad I have my own office. I can usually hold it in if I’m elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/57 "2011-11-09T02:00:53Z")
Damn it people! This thread just made me snort out loud in my library! Can I use the same lines in this case? ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/58 "2011-11-09T19:24:20Z")
We’re gonna need a new thread just for fart jokes. The BEST way of handling the inevitable was done by a young woman, who fanned herself and said, “Oh, I have gas, excuse me.” I thought that was perfect. But I simply don’t have the nerve to be that honest and bold. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Dorabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@Dorabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorabella)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/59 "2011-11-10T04:55:21Z")
My exhusband once worked in an all male office. One of his coworkers would walk from one end of the room to the other farting all the way. They nicknamed him Moose (obvious reasons). One day his supervisor had enough of him and said, ‘Geeze Moose. What if there were women present?’ Moose looked serious for a moment then replied, ‘Nah, a woman couldn’t do as well as that.’ ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767/60 "2011-11-10T06:21:44Z")
I prefer the Achewood Ray Smuckles exclamation: “DAAAMN! SOMEBODY JUST STEP ON A BURRITO AT THIS PLACE?” …but seriously, the Miss Manners advice is the best in a professional workplace. IT NEVER HAPPENED, AND NOBODY SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-tooted-at-work/601767.md?page=4)