# I just want grey hair, dammit! Little help, ladies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2019, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574 "2019-10-10T03:45:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/21 "2019-10-10T15:22:27Z")
Thanks to paternal genetics, I have yet to sprout any gray - I’ll be 66 in January. My hair is medium to light brown, thin and straight. Some decades back, I would occasionally dye it light auburn, just for kicks. Even farther back, I’d get it permed. Now I opt for low maintenance - no product, no blow dryer, nothing beyond shampoo and combing. My dad was just starting to gray when he died at 72, so we’ll see how it goes for me. When it happens, it happens. I can’t be bothered to mess with it. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/22 "2019-10-10T16:12:08Z")
My mom dyed her hair black (her natural color) from the ages of 18 to 65, to cover up the gray. All those years…sometimes she did it at home, sometimes at the stylist when she could afford it. One day she was just like - fuck this! I’m over it! There was a little protest from the family because we had NEVER seen mom without black hair. No one had. She has always looked very young and now she was suddenly going to be showing her age. Were we ALL going to get old now?! She went to a stylist who knew her job was to help mom transition from black to gray, so that’s what the stylist did. It has taken over a year, to be honest. Some stripping, some highlighting, some more stripping. Letting it grow out, getting it cut. There were times in this transition where I prodded her to get her hair cut very short because those auburn bits were making her look weird, but she wasn’t having it. She just did her thing and walked around with slightly odd-looking hair for a little while and whatever. She gave no fucks. Finally it looks like she’s done with the weird auburn tinge to her hair and she’s all natural now. She does have salt & pepper, not Anderson Cooper. But it looks great, especially with her olive skin. Since it took a long time to do, all of us had time to deal with the emotions associated with mom going gray 🙂 Anyway I heartily agree with everyone who says your stylist is trash. You need to go to someone who is going to be your pilot on the journey to go all gray. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/23 "2019-10-10T16:27:49Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > I’ve been doing that for 3 years now. At **almost $300 a clip**. I’m a guy & don’t have that much to add other than Holy Shit! - I spend about that much for two _years_ worth of cuts! ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/24 "2019-10-10T16:36:06Z")
I’ve been 100% natural hair color for 3+ years now and I love it (and get tons of compliments on it). Couple thoughts: - I agree with everyone else who’s saying ‘ditch the stylist’. Stylists are motivated financially to push products, treatments and styles on you. Find one who’s happy to work with your natural color and texture and support you while you transition. - I HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend following the @grombre account and #grombre hashtag on Instagram. Sure, there are a lot of glamour shots, but it really helps recalibrate your eyes and your expectations about grey hair and how women “should” look. There are also a ton of helpful facebook groups. The more you reject the standard beauty programming the freer you will feel. - I completely disagree with the idea that there is “good grey” and “bad grey”. The bullet point above will help you to see that too. In every single before and after shot, the woman looks so much better with her natural grey. - There are so many ways to go grey, but you have to find what works for you. I went all over ash blonde (I had been dyeing blonde for years, but went ashier on purpose) and had some lowlights added. Then I cut it to chin length and kept cutting it there until all of the color was gone. It took about 2 years in total, but honestly, it wasn’t that traumatic. The worst part is that I’m most heavily grey (mine is white, really) on my crown and the back of my head. The opposite of the cool white streak in front I was hoping for. 😃 But really, once I accepted the process, even that didn’t bother me much. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/25 "2019-10-10T16:47:20Z")
Here’s mine, btw, at 3 years out. No hair color left and I [love](https://imgur.com/1mcHpuZ) [it.](https://imgur.com/wcSsyIv) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/26 "2019-10-10T16:51:42Z")
I want Emmylou Harris hair. My pale blond/greying hair is in its mid-life crisis at this very moment. The grey coming out at the roots is actually darker than my blond. I had 17inches cut off in Febuary. It a fit of panic and my girls poking me into it. It’s still long. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but things are changing. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/27 "2019-10-10T17:35:55Z")
I’m 57 3/4 and I’ve never ever colored my hair. I’m getting some interesting grey ‘highlights’ and I’m crossing digits that I get a good grey, not a yellowy in between color. I was white-blond as a kid and am mid-brown now. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/28 "2019-10-10T17:52:46Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > Here’s mine, btw, at 3 years out. No hair color left and I [love](https://imgur.com/1mcHpuZ) [it.](https://imgur.com/wcSsyIv) I do too. Very pretty! ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/29 "2019-10-10T17:59:35Z")
> [@saje](#): > > I’m 57 3/4 and I’ve never ever colored my hair. I’m getting some interesting grey ‘highlights’ and I’m crossing digits that I get a good grey, not a yellowy in between color. I was white-blond as a kid and am mid-brown now. FYI, for my silver sisters (and anyone considering it), purple shampoo and conditioner is wonderful for keeping your white/silver/grey hair bright and non-yellowed. You will not look lavender unless you leave it in. 🙂 Another FYI, heat styling can also make grey hair yellow, so it’s best to minimize that if you feel you can. (Another plug for embracing your natural texture) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/30 "2019-10-10T18:15:33Z")
I shaved my head back in Jan 2018, previously I had dyed it assorted colors, and had gotten it cut various ways with layering of the past decade. I discovered I had cancer, and so I stopped dying my hair, and let it just grow at its own rate. I went from 25 percent grey to about 40 or 50 percent grey, and it had been sort of dandelion-fly away, but stabilized about 4 inches ago back to a normal thickness, and level of curl. I did discover oddly enough that it has naturally ended up with the sale look as the past fairly expensive layered cut. I also recently was given some lavender Overtone coloring conditioner, and it works wonderfully - I liked it enough so that I just bought the intense purple for brown hair and adore the look of it. It really does wash out completely in 2 weeks, doesn’t leave any hint of stain on the grey hairs and is easy to apply. I vote chop it all off, claim it is in support of someone you know with cancer and let it grow back at its own rate [and hope you don’t get diagnosed with cancer like I did _sigh_] ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/31 "2019-10-10T20:02:26Z")
This has been a most interesting thread. For those of you who decided to get a perm at some point in your life, and I mean this with all the heartfelt sincerity someone with naturally curly hair can muster, WTEVERLOVINGF IS WRONG WITH YOU? > [@VOW](#): > > I stopped messing with my hair when I turned 50. No more coloring, no more perms. My natural hair is stick straight. I had the last perm cut off to where my hair was about 1-1/2 inches long. > > It stuck straight up. I told everyone I went punk at 50. > > I’ve finally settled on one inch long. I love it. I do nothing to it but wash it. > > I am “hair emancipated.” > ~VOW VOW is my new Hero Of The Week ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/32 "2019-10-10T20:11:31Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > This has been a most interesting thread. > For those of you who decided to get a perm at some point in your life, and I mean this with all the heartfelt sincerity someone with naturally curly hair can muster, > WTEVERLOVINGF IS WRONG WITH YOU? It was the eighties, and I only permed the back half of my mullet! You should have seen it after I took the scissors to it. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/33 "2019-10-10T21:12:23Z")
DGH, I went the opposite route and had my hair cut very short, starting last spring. The style I went with bears the unfortunate but accurate nickname “Floppy Hitler”. It’s long on top and very short on the sides. I’ve been getting compliments and the last time I looked, there was only a tiny dusting of color left. I’m loving it. Shorter, cheaper, and it turned out to be a stunning white/gray. I’ve decided to keep it this short, but I’ll need a toque this winter to keep my head warm this winter. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/34 "2019-10-10T21:18:44Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > I’m 70, and although I don’t think I look my age (SIDEBAR - ever meet someone who said Oh I totally look my age??) I do. Every minute of it, and then some. I’m turning 60 in a few weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/35 "2019-10-10T22:37:30Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Glorious, **Cats**! My menopausal rage has been slightly tamped. 😃 Thanks **Beetle** :D! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/36 "2019-10-10T22:56:14Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > Here’s mine, btw, at 3 years out. No hair color left and I [love](https://imgur.com/1mcHpuZ) [it.](https://imgur.com/wcSsyIv) Love that!! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/37 "2019-10-10T23:15:53Z")
I’m nowhere near gray yet, but the way my grandmothers achieved theirs was by visiting the hairdresser never (Abuelita) and as little as possible (Yaya). Yaya made it very clear that she was there for a cut, nothing but, and that anybody who so much as tried to dye her hair would be needing a proctologist stat. ETA: twice in my life I’ve done some “beauty thing” at my mother’s insistence but only after obtaining a promise that if I hated it she’d shut the fuck up about it forever and ever amen. One of them was a perm, and damn did I hate it. Mom’s allowed to ask if I’m going to go to the hairdresser’s, but that’s it: any attempts to tell me what to do with my hair are met with an Eyebrow of Doom. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/38 "2019-10-10T23:21:44Z")
My ol’ Granny had the prettiest cotton white hair. I suppose it was less white when I was a baby, but I don’t remember that. She would let me comb it out when I spent the night with her. I wanted to have that kinda hair. It looks like I won’t. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/39 "2019-10-10T23:28:02Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Honestly, I’m amazed at all the ‘just go natural’ calls here. Sad fact is, not all grey hair is equal, and not all people look great with grey hair. > > I have a couple of friends with AMAZING silver hair - short, stylish, their skins glow, you name it. But these women are BLESSED. Blessed that they were blond before they went grey, so they never had twenty ‘salt and pepper years’ where they just looked like a dowdy grey day. They both have amazing skin… Nothing wrong with salt’n’pepper, my now-droopy cheeks are an inheritance from Abuelita (apparently we’re related to Angela Landsbury) and someday I do hope to have as deep a network of wrinkles as she did. It took me a long time to get here, I’m allowed to show it! My Aunt Mari has had white hair since she was thirty, but she already looked dowdy when she was three. Some people just happen to _be_ dowdy. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2019, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574/40 "2019-10-11T00:29:48Z")
I guess we scared off the OP. Amazing how often that happens. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-want-grey-hair-dammit-little-help-ladies/841574.md?page=3)