# I just watched Clerks for the first time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 16, 2006, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926 "2006-08-16T11:07:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/21 "2006-08-16T16:28:07Z")
[QUOTE=CandidGamera] No, I’d say you’re right. Chasing Amy is the weakest of the bunch for me, too. It’s balanced more towards the romance/drama side than the comedy side. [/QUOTE] It may very well be my inability to look at Ben Affleck in a romancey way–let alone a romancey “man enough to turn a lesbian” way. Jason Lee is the only part of that movie I remember truly enjoying. In fact, I pretty much can’t watch Ben in anything _but_ a Kevin Smith movie, these days. Well, that and _Armageddon_. I cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee _every damn time_, too. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/22 "2006-08-16T16:58:04Z")
What IS it with people and this movie and their need to trumpet their knowledge of its minutiae? Jeez. Get a life, people. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/23 "2006-08-16T17:02:19Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] Get a life, people. [/QUOTE] I don’t appreciate your ruse, sir. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/24 "2006-08-16T17:08:03Z")
My what? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/25 "2006-08-16T17:08:12Z")
_sob_ **Draelin**! What’s happened to you? I don’t recognize you anymore! It’s like…it’s like you went and got your own identity and opinions and are no longer my doppleganger! 😃 I like _Chasing Amy_ a whole helluva lot. But _Dogma_’s pretty damn good, too. I think the two are tied in my book o’ Kevin. But \*Clerks \*will always be fondly remembered and the flat out funniest of all. 'Specially 'cause I was working at a video store when it came out. (The truth is what makes it so, so damn funny.) Haven’t seen \*Clerks 2 \*yet. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/26 "2006-08-16T17:08:13Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Heh-heh…I laugh just thinking about this movie. I love the scene where they’re discussing whether they’ve ever tried to give themselves a blow job. Hilarious! [/QUOTE] I like when the Coroner is wheeling the dead guy out. Dante asks if this is the weirdest death she’s ever seen. No… ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/27 "2006-08-16T17:14:25Z")
_Dogma_ really bored me. But I’m a decided minority in that respect. (My ranking of the Kevin Smith films I’ve seen: Clerks, Chasing Amy, Mallrats, a fairly large gap, the beginning and end of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Dogma, the middle of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.) ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/28 "2006-08-16T17:18:06Z")
[QUOTE=Alias] Dante: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks! Guy: In a row? [/QUOTE] Dante: Try not to suck any dicks on your way to the parking lot! I found _clerks_ to be much funnier in retrospect, I’m afraid. Quite entertaining as a quotable, but not so much when you’re sitting through it. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/29 "2006-08-16T17:21:21Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] My what? [/QUOTE] Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Draelin! What’s happened to you? I don’t recognize you anymore! It’s like…it’s like you went and got your own identity and opinions and are no longer my doppleganger! Well, I guess I just suck. But I’m only at 20 or 21, nowhere near 37, I’d say. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/30 "2006-08-16T17:28:32Z")
I just saw **Clerks II** and I can recommend it unreservedly. Absolutely hilarious (I peed myself a bit!) and such a seamless, logical extension of the characters in time and situation that there is absolutely no jarring when you first see each one. It’s bizarre that Dante and Randall have obviously changed and aged, but for some odd reason Jay and Silent Bob appear not to have altered in the slightest in spite of what, 12 years elapsed time? It works, though, since they’re more mythical archetypes than actual people, really… I loved the way the story line so neatly wraps itself back into the Clerks canon, with a resolution that’s both inevitable and incredibly satisfying. And the Elias character? Screamingly funny–not an easy job to be a newcomer into a bunch of well known and loved characters but he manages to carve a niche for himself that’s unique and fits right in with the rest. Then there’s the Buffalo Bill reference and the ponytailed dance number–don’t get me started! See it, see it, see it–even if you DID like **Jersey Girl**! ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/31 "2006-08-16T17:50:09Z")
[QUOTE=Draelin] Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me. [/QUOTE] I was merely pointing out that you weren’t paying any attention to me. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry\_Garcia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71c47a/32.png) [@Cherry\_Garcia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry_Garcia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/32 "2006-08-16T17:50:53Z")
[slight hijack] Highly recommended: A couple of Flash animations that poke gentle fun at both Clerks and Star Wars: Trooper Wars, Parts 1 and 2. It starts with a couple of bored slacker Stormtroopers at the Death Stop and involves a couple of Sith Lords named Darth Jay and Darth Bob. Not gut-busting, but a nice tribute to both SW and Kevin Smith. It purports to be the true story of how the rebels got their hands on the Death Star plans. It obviously was inspired by Dante and Randall’s debate over the better movie: The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi. Trooper Dante: (on phone with irate customer) Dantooine? You took your drink all the way to Dantooine before you drank it? That’s 45 parsecs away from here. Of course it was watered down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on back if you want to. Bye. Your ice cream melted?!! Unbelieveable. Why do I have to deal with all the idiots in the Universe? [Trooper Clerks Official Website](http://www.trooperclerks.com/films_cartoons.html) [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/33 "2006-08-16T17:51:09Z")
[QUOTE=shamrock227] I was merely pointing out that you weren’t paying any attention to me. [/QUOTE] And I hope it feels good! ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/34 "2006-08-16T17:58:52Z")
[QUOTE=Draelin] Well, that and _Armageddon_. I cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee _every damn time_, too. [/QUOTE] You know, I may be whooshing here, but this lost you a lot of film cred 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/35 "2006-08-16T18:44:42Z")
[QUOTE=FordPrefect] You know, I may be whooshing here, but this lost you a lot of film cred 🙂 [/QUOTE] No, I’m serious. But I never watch it of my own free will. If it’s on TV and anywhere near the scene where Bruce Willis shoves Ben into the elevator thingy and sacrifices himself, though, I’m trapped, and then I’m useless for several hours while I try to pull myself together. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/36 "2006-08-16T18:46:37Z")
[QUOTE=Draelin] Well, it’s not part of that series, so I didn’t include it. I didn’t think it was that bad, but it was a different kind of movie. George Carlin was especially great in that one, though. I don’t know … something about _Chasing Amy_ has just always not sat right with me. I know it’s not the subject matter, so I’m at a loss to explain what. I do have to admit I haven’t seen it a second time since I saw it in the theater–I might change my mind. [/QUOTE] Yeah, after seeing Jay & Silent Bob, Clerks, and Mallrats (in about that order), I was really disappointed by Chasing Amy. It was a sweetly pathetic movie. It was like you took Dante’s hangup over all the BJs his girlfriend had given and turned it into a whole movie. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/37 "2006-08-16T19:05:56Z")
Comedy Central ran this uncut on Saturday night when I watched it for the first time. I now plan to watch the others mentioned in this thread. Favorite line: At least he wasn’t 36. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/38 "2006-08-16T19:12:56Z")
_Chasing Amy_ is a great movie; probably my favorite by Kevin Smith. The only problem is the pacing. The climax of the movie is the scene in the pickup truck when Holden is pouring out his heart to Alyssa, knowing that’s it’s hopeless, still hoping anyway, and having to say it all one way or the other. The stuff after that, Holden’s self-consciousness over his inexperience and his proposed solution to it, is a letdown. If you can’t identify with that scene in the truck, you’ve either been very lucky or very unlucky. There’s also some additional _Clerks_ material that’s only been in comic books, including exactly what happened at Julie Dwyer’s funeral. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/39 "2006-08-16T19:14:57Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] If you can’t identify with that scene in the truck, you’ve either been very lucky or very unlucky. [/QUOTE] That’s really the _only_ scene that had any impact on me whatsoever. Well, I thought the Santa/Easter Bunny/Friendly Lesbian/Man-Hating Dyke thing was funny, so that had some impact. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926/40 "2006-08-16T19:30:42Z")
::channeling Olaf:: “My love for you is like a truck, Berserker Would you like some making fuck, Berserker” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-watched-clerks-for-the-first-time/368926.md?page=3)