# I just yelled at my friend's neighbors. Was I a bitch? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 9, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184 "2009-06-09T04:05:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/41 "2009-06-10T20:05:51Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Wait, the hypothetical guy is angry enough to punch her and she’s the shrew for following her? He sounds kind of like a psycho. Not really after 50 minutes of screaming at him and him keeping his temper in check as an example, he is beat red and ready to blow. He leaves because she’s the type that wants to push him into doing something the cops could get involved with. She’d scream at him for 3 or 4 hours if he didn’t leave. Never mind she’s a lush, a drunk and a cheating whore. The fights were often at public places. This lady is gone and some other sucker has her. She also committed fraud for tens of thousands of dollars against him, and was sleeping with up to three other guys at the time. Do you know how hard it was for this man not to punch her. Calling her a shrew doesn’t adequately cover this lady. Get this straight she was psycho and not him. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/42 "2009-06-10T20:16:37Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Out here the Police would come. All you have to do is say “the druggies next door have been repeatedly pounding on my door, demanding money, acting threatening, and they won’t stop” Seriously, people 'round these parts need to simmer down with the automatic “Call the police” business. The police are called \*after \*a failed attempt at resolution has occurred. I don’t immediately call the cops on people who are irritating just because they like crack. Basically, what \*\*Chimera \*\*said. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/43 "2009-06-10T20:43:06Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Not really after 50 minutes of screaming at him and him keeping his temper in check as an example, he is beat red and ready to blow. He leaves because she’s the type that wants to push him into doing something the cops could get involved with. She’d scream at him for 3 or 4 hours if he didn’t leave. Never mind she’s a lush, a drunk and a cheating whore. The fights were often at public places. This lady is gone and some other sucker has her. She also committed fraud for tens of thousands of dollars against him, and was sleeping with up to three other guys at the time. Do you know how hard it was for this man not to punch her. Calling her a shrew doesn’t adequately cover this lady. > > Get this straight she was psycho and not him. We’re not talking about a hypothetical couple anymore, are we? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/44 "2009-06-10T21:06:12Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > Ya know, I’ve yelled at both **fiends** _and_ dogs Do you hear voices in your head too? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/45 "2009-06-10T21:24:52Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > We’re not talking about a hypothetical couple anymore, are we? Not me, but a person I know. She has even worse dirt that could be brought up. She loved to start fights in bars between guys. The three other guys were the ones found out about for that week. She required an expensive gift of these guys before sex. The following I won’t elaborate on beyond what I write now. She spent months setting up a business at great expense. The first day she was open it was closed down in half a day. A client caught her screwing another client at the business. She closed to avoid publicity around town and involvement with wives and lawyers. She moved on far away and continued to spread her special joy in another community. I don’t mean her lags were named joy either, though she liked to spread them. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/46 "2009-06-10T22:42:34Z")
You were a bitch. However, in this circumstance, _bitch_ is an acronym for _Being In Total Control (of) Herself_. You did nothing wrong. ---
**Author:** ![InterestedObserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/47 "2009-06-11T00:56:07Z")
Yes, you WERE a bitch, and quite a fine one at that! 😃 Good for you. And stop sitting for/associating with these people. They have issues you do not need to be in the middle of. Next time, the one showing up at the door might have a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/48 "2009-06-11T02:57:28Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Going against the crowd, I have to say yes, you did. I’m not much for screaming at people to fuck off. > > “Look, I don’t have your money. They’re not home and you know they’re not home and you’re disturbing the kids who should all be asleep. I promise I’ll let them know to come over as soon as they come home. Don’t bang on the door again.” > > I don’t see what them being crackheads or methheads has to do with it. And I’m not sure that your friends necessarily would appreciate you being openly hostile to the people _they_ have to live next door to, either. Yeah, pretty much. I call the OP drama queen. You must learn to pick your battles, grasshopper, and battles against crackheads or tweakers are not worth it. I’d have given them the 20 if I had it just to go away. Calling the police is to laugh- it would take hours for them to come out in this city, and they would not be happy to have to do paperwork over this bullshit and would probably come right out and tell you that. Grow a pair, handle your business, or your friend’s business if you have to, and don’t call the cops unless someone is actively breaking in or dying. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/49 "2009-06-11T03:59:43Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Going against the crowd, I have to say yes, you did. I’m not much for screaming at people to fuck off. > > “Look, I don’t have your money. They’re not home and you know they’re not home and you’re disturbing the kids who should all be asleep. I promise I’ll let them know to come over as soon as they come home. Don’t bang on the door again.” > > I don’t see what them being crackheads or methheads has to do with it. And I’m not sure that your friends necessarily would appreciate you being openly hostile to the people _they_ have to live next door to, either. This is perhaps the ideal response, and probably the one I would take (unless I were in a real foul mood), but I know that if I and my SO went over to my neighbor’s house three times in twenty or thirty minutes in the middle of the night to harass someone babysitting for a debt they have no hand in, I would expect at least as irate a response as in the OP. So, I say a completely natural response, not over-the-top given the situation. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/50 "2009-06-11T14:02:25Z")
> [@RedRosesForMe](#): > > It’s a difficult situation she’s in, she suspects borderline personality disorder but isn’t in a situation to take care of 4 children alone. So, she left YOU to take care of them alone. Drop this friend, for your sake. You did right talking to the crackhead as you did, but you made a mistake not telling off your friend. Friend: RRFM, can you come over here and take care of four infants while I go and finish an argument that my friend’s husband had the sense to walk out on? RRFM:Sure, any time of night, I’ll get involved in your domestic troubles. Learn from your mistake. You got off cheaply, this time. ---
**Author:** ![RedRosesForMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RedRosesForMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedRosesForMe)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/51 "2009-06-11T20:28:09Z")
I did briefly consider paying them, as I think I had the cash, but decided against it for various reasons. I came over as my friend was learning of this debt from my neighbor. AFAIKnew, 1) the guy could be lying about the debt 2) the husband could have already paid him 3) my friend could stop by and pay them before I had a chance to tell her I’d already done it and 4) it was not my problem several times removed. Plus I don’t like rewarding people for bad behavior. As for the unsolicited advice about my friendship with this woman, thanks but no thanks. We’ve been friends for a decade or more, she’s helped me out more times than I can count, and she’s a truly good person. I don’t mind babysitting in general, and I love babies so getting to cuddle a couple of cute infants is a bonus. I’m not about to write someone off for making a mistake (IMO) of starting a family with an unstable asshole (also IMO) and I certainly wouldn’t want to write her kids off either. Her nearly 6 year old son told me the other day he had a dream that I was his mommy, and I’m not going to suddenly disappear when I could be a stable, loving influence in their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/52 "2009-06-11T20:34:00Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > So, she left YOU to take care of them alone. > > Drop this friend, for your sake. You did right talking to the crackhead as you did, but you made a mistake not telling off your friend. > > Friend: RRFM, can you come over here and take care of four infants while I go and finish an argument that my friend’s husband had the sense to walk out on? > > RRFM:Sure, any time of night, I’ll get involved in your domestic troubles. > > Learn from your mistake. You got off cheaply, this time. She sounds like a perfectly normal person in a stressful situation. **Roses** didn’t infer that this happens all the time. Why would you dump a friend for needing a little help? Should I have told off my friend whose car battery died rather late at night and needed a jump just because he accidentally left his lights on? People help each other out- that’s what they do. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/53 "2009-06-11T20:46:30Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > She sounds like a perfectly normal person in a stressful situation. **Roses** didn’t \*\*infer \*\*that this happens all the time. Why would you dump a friend for needing a little help? Should I have told off my friend whose car battery died rather late at night and needed a jump just because he accidentally left his lights on? People help each other out- that’s what they do. You mean _imply_. To _infer_ is to draw a conclusion from evidence rather than from verbal assertions. To _imply_ is to express indirectly. Sorry to be a pedant. As you may infer from the above, the misuse of the former word vexes me. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/54 "2009-06-11T20:56:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You mean _imply_. To _infer_ is to draw a conclusion from evidence rather than from verbal assertions. To _imply_ is to express indirectly. > > Sorry to be a pedant. As you may infer from the above, the misuse of the former word vexes me. I humbly apologize for my egregious misuse, and for the resulting vexation. I am resisting the urge to vex you further. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184/55 "2009-06-11T21:45:51Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > So, she left YOU to take care of them alone. > > Drop this friend, for your sake. You did right talking to the crackhead as you did, but you made a mistake not telling off your friend. > > Friend: RRFM, can you come over here and take care of four infants while I go and finish an argument that my friend’s husband had the sense to walk out on? > > RRFM:Sure, any time of night, I’ll get involved in your domestic troubles. > > Learn from your mistake. You got off cheaply, this time. Say what? Where did that come from. More like: Friend: I’m at wits end, can you help me out RRFM: Sure. That’s what friends do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-just-yelled-at-my-friends-neighbors-was-i-a-bitch/499184.md?page=2)