# I kicked a kitten today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 12, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301 "2006-04-12T00:04:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/1 "2006-04-12T00:04:43Z")
Every morning I walk two kilometers to my work place, not only it´s healthy but it also gives me time to think about things, so while I strut briskly along I´m mostly on auto-pilot mode. Not one block away from my door I saw a group of young cats, I´ve seen them grow up since about 6 months or so, they belong to an old lady and roam freely on a garden by the side walk. One of them, white with a dark patch around his eyes, was hiding behind some vegetation on the base of a tree, I looked at it for about 1.3 seconds and flicked the auto-pilot on again, not two steps later I felt a soft, squishy thing intersected my foot; I gave the poor thing a hefty kick in the ribs, I probably sent him flying a short distance, so much for feline reflexes, the dumb cat run right in front of my feet. The kitten looked pissed off, but I guess he knew it was his fault because he just stared at me half hurt, half ashamed; I don´t think I hurt him though, nothing went _crunch_ as far as I could felt and he looked OK when I checked him. Now the disturbing thing is that it was quite nice from a sensory point of view, like kicking a soft, warm pillow; I can understand now why evil people rejoice on the sport, it´s so great for relaxing!, I should be carefull or I might pick up the habit. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/2 "2006-04-12T00:17:34Z")
Bwahaha. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/3 "2006-04-12T00:31:56Z")
Every time you kick a kitten, God masturbates. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/4 "2006-04-12T00:42:18Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > Now the disturbing thing is that it was quite nice from a sensory point of view, like kicking a soft, warm pillow; I can understand now why evil people rejoice on the sport, it´s so great for relaxing!, I should be carefull or I might pick up the habit. 😉 I thought I had read everything on the Dope, but By God, I never could have imagined a thread about the tactile pleasures of pussy punting. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/5 "2006-04-12T01:29:06Z")
I’m reminded of [this.](http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/12/03) ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/6 "2006-04-12T02:01:37Z")
Well hell… I kicked my Papillon Cricket in the head just a little bit ago. She was laying under my desk, right under my feet, I shifted, and ~bonk~ I was barefoot, it didn’t hurt her, she just grinned at me and grabbed a chewie. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/7 "2006-04-12T02:09:35Z")
Luckily for both of you kittens are really rather springy. My little Samantha lives underfoot and I have (unintentionally) punted her a number of times. I’m afraid one of these days she’s going to give a call to animal control, “Hello? Yeah. The feeder person keeps kicking me. What? No. Of course I don’t walk in front of and between her feet at every available opportunity. Why do you ask?” I’ve never experienced any enjoyment, though. Maybe I’m not doing it hard enough? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/8 "2006-04-12T02:42:26Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > Every time you kick a kitten, God masturbates. HA! ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/9 "2006-04-12T03:29:43Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > I thought I had read everything on the Dope, but By God, I never could have imagined a thread about the tactile pleasures of pussy punting. :: falls over laughing :: :: gets up, tries to breathe :: :: falls over laughing again :: ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/10 "2006-04-12T03:36:17Z")
Heh. You guys are lucky. My dog must have had some kind of ninja training - he tries to snuggle up to you from behind - completely silently. I’m ashamed to say I’ve never even had a chance to punt him, but I do trip over him at least three times a week. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/11 "2006-04-12T03:41:34Z")
I have, on occasion, launched my cat who was sleeping at the end of my bed. I take a certain amount of guilty pleasure in her flying off the bed, so I can kind of see where you’re coming from. What is it with cat and feet, anyway? Why do they dart _right in front_ of where you’re walking? It’s part of their master plan to kill us all, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/12 "2006-04-12T03:58:28Z")
I stepped on one of my anole lizards once. He liked to sit in my hand while I walked around, and one time he sprung just as I was taking a step forward. He fell to the floor and my foot came down on top of him. Luckily it was on carpet and I was able to stop moving before my full weight was on him. He was fine, although he puked up the cricket he had just eaten earlier (I held it in front of him and he ate it again. Where’s that barfing smiley?). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/13 "2006-04-12T04:51:27Z")
Yeah, if cats eat too fast and barf up their lunch, if you don’t race right over and clean it up, one or the other of them will probably take care of it for you. My cat just loves my chewed-up gristle from meat, too. They got no couth, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/14 "2006-04-12T05:01:50Z")
I stepped on one of my anole lizards once. He liked to sit in my hand while I walked around, and one time he sprung just as I was taking a step forward. He fell to the floor and my foot came down on top of him. Luckily it was on carpet and I was able to stop moving before my full weight was on him. He was fine, although he puked up the cricket he had just eaten earlier (I held it in front of him and he ate it again. Where’s that barfing smiley?). ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/15 "2006-04-12T11:24:25Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > Heh. You guys are lucky. My dog must have had some kind of ninja training - he tries to snuggle up to you from behind - completely silently. I’m ashamed to say I’ve never even had a chance to punt him, but I do trip over him at least three times a week. Friend of mine’s dog is now obligated to sleep on the bed. Obligated. Since she fell over him getting up, and broke her thumb. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/16 "2006-04-12T14:27:40Z")
I kick, step on, and/or trip over our animals on a daily basis. Except the fish and the hermit crabs. So far they’ve been safe. One of our cats has the habit of deliberately running in front of me and then flopping down directly in my path. She deserves to get stepped on. Once my husband was a little (ha!) tipsy and tripped over the baby gate we use to keep the dog locked up, and fell on the dog. Neither of them broke anything, but the dog was deathly afraid of my husband for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/17 "2006-04-12T14:55:36Z")
To my knowledge, I am the only human being who has _ever_ trained a cat to do anything, let alone stop running between moving human feet. My roommate’s cat, Max, [del]has[/del] had the typical feline persuasion of running between your feet; he also desparately wants to be the first into any room when a door opens. So, we have a (rather large) cat trying to fit between my two (rather large) booted feet with everyone trying to navigate a (rather small) door opening. He learned the hard way that my big honkin’ feet in my big honkin’ boots don’t have big honkin’ eyes and thus it hurts when he gets between them and they’re a-movin’ and not a-lookin’. Yeah. He caught some air. At first I felt good that he got what he deserved. 🆒 Then I felt guilty about feeling good. ☹ Then I felt good about feeling guilty, so it all worked out. 😃 (He was, of course, fine. Otherwise I might have actually felt guilty about the whole escapade.) [hyjack] BTW. Have any of you guys tried “Video Catnip” for your cats? It’s nothing but a video of birds and rodents, but watching Max watch this video was one of the most amusing things I have seen in ages 😃 [\hyjack] ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/18 "2006-04-12T15:04:08Z")
All of my cats get in the way. All have been kicked. Occasionally, I feel a little righteous in the accidental kicking, because the damn cat shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Most of the time, I apologize and give them a scratch on the head (if they’re not running for their little kitty lives, of course). **JAG** , I’ll have to get that video. Sounds like more fun than a laser pointer, and less work for me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/19 "2006-04-12T15:04:28Z")
I kick my bigger cat off the bed at night with amazing regularity. He lives to sleep between either of the People’s legs. Preferably as far up towards the body as he can convince you to allow him space. At least once a night, he headbutts me in the kneecap in order to see if he can get me to spread em farther. This causes me to use my other leg to kick him until he moves his furry butt. Then I get to luxuriate in the pre-warmed spot in the covers he left behind. Ahhhh. So warm. Why yes, yes I am going to Hell in a handbasket. Why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![iluvurmom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iluvurmom/32/7276_2.png) [@iluvurmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iluvurmom)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/20 "2006-04-12T15:11:19Z")
more of these please. any thread that’s title includes the words “kicked a kitten” and who’s content includes “pussy punting” is a winner. BBBBBBAAAHAA [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301.md?page=2)