# I kicked a kitten today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 12, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301 "2006-04-12T00:04:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/21 "2006-04-12T15:19:11Z")
Here I was going to make a bad joke about a man’s best friend being his Cat-a-pult, but punting pussies around beats me hands down. [At the Range] “Pull!” ::fwip:: _meow!_ BOOM! [/AtR] Tripler Yep, I’ve been pussy-whipped. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/22 "2006-04-12T15:30:21Z")
I feel so much better now that I know there are so many people who are much, _much_ sicker than I. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/23 "2006-04-12T15:30:45Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > [At the Range] > “Pull!” ::fwip:: _meow!_ BOOM! > [/AtR] Excellent!!! But you forgot the Doplering effect of the cat moving. Try this: “PULL!” ::fwip:: _ **MMRRrrrrRRRRoooowwww** _ BOOM! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/24 "2006-04-12T15:37:50Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > Excellent!!! But you forgot the Doplering effect of the cat moving. Try this: > > “PULL!” > ::fwip:: > _ **MMRRrrrrRRRRoooowwww** _ > BOOM! > 😃 Don’t be ridiculous. Kittens are no good for skeet. They’re simply not aerodynamic enough. Now, baby rabbits-- them’s good skeet. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/25 "2006-04-12T15:38:40Z")
Drop kick your cats across the room at least once per day. If you don’t know why … they do! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/26 "2006-04-12T15:44:30Z")
With 8 cats, hardly a day goes by that one of them doesn’t get kicked. It’s just the law of averages. What is more fun is jumping on the waterbed with a sleeping cat on the other side and watching said sleeping cat regain consciousness as it goes airborn. Extra points if it splats into the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/27 "2006-04-12T16:04:01Z")
A friend of mine owned two ferrets (which are a particularily hyperactive animal), and a while ago he told me he was walking down a hallway when one jumped _on top_ of his foot mid-stride. The thing went flying way down the hallway and _smack_ in to the wall at the end. The thing just shook it off, and he didn’t say if it ever decided to jump him again. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/28 "2006-04-12T16:06:40Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > Don’t be ridiculous. Kittens are no good for skeet. They’re simply not aerodynamic enough. Now, baby rabbits-- them’s good skeet. Well, kittens may not be good for skeet, but they might be good for trap: “Okay, Jim, you toss the kitten to Bill. Bill, if you catch it, throw it back to Jim.” Tripler “Throw it like a Hail Mary pass fellas! I don’t wanna pull a ‘Dick Cheney’ on y’all!” ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/29 "2006-04-12T16:10:39Z")
Pigeon Punting. Casually approach one of the smelly bastards, because you know they never get out of your way, right? If you break stride to perform the maneuver, they sense that and get away. if you just reach and boot while in full stride, they never see it coming. Great, great fun. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/30 "2006-04-12T16:25:16Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > I stepped on one of my anole lizards once. He liked to sit in my hand while I walked around, and one time he sprung just as I was taking a step forward. He fell to the floor and my foot came down on top of him. Luckily it was on carpet and I was able to stop moving before my full weight was on him. He was fine, although he puked up the cricket he had just eaten earlier (I held it in front of him and he ate it again. Where’s that barfing smiley?). :eek: Aren’t anoles smaller than your shoes? How is it possible to put your full weight on one? ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/31 "2006-04-12T17:09:59Z")
My cat is constantly getting kicked or walked on. There’s also that thing where he tries to wind around your legs while they’re still moving, and kitty gets scissored in between, and you and him become tangled. When he was a baby, it was common to see a grey puff flying through the air where he had been kicked by feet in motion. The weird thing is, all three of the above scenarios make him extremely happy. As soon as your foot makes contact, he’ll start purring. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/32 "2006-04-12T17:19:52Z")
I’ve kicked both cats and dogs; the problem is, even after several years of my deliberately keeping on walking with them in my way, none of them ever learned to avoid the feet. You’d think even a really, really dumb dog might catch on. But no. Not that I can launch a 70-pound Golden across the room, but I think instead of thinking, “Uh-oh, I better not get in front of her when she’s moving,” he thinks, “Oh boy, if I get in her way, she’ll walk into me, and say my name, and pay attention to me!” Stupid animals. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/33 "2006-04-12T17:50:45Z")
> [@Batsinma Belfry](#): > > The weird thing is, all three of the above scenarios make him extremely happy. As soon as your foot makes contact, he’ll start purring. Sounds like your cat’s got a few in his belfry, too! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/34 "2006-04-12T18:08:57Z")
My sister once kicked a baby bunny. We were walking through a grassy area when we observed a group of baby bunnies off to the side. There was one trying to hide in the grass further along our path and when we kept heading towards him, he panicked and tried to flee. Unfortunately, his sense of direction was a little off and he ran up on my sister’s shoe and tried to run up her leg. She freaked out and kicked as hard as she could. The bunny let out a squeel as it went flying through the air and, as soon as it hit the ground, it took off running for the cover of the bushes. I laughed my ass off and still tease my sister about this until today. She swears the bunny was trying to attack ever, nevermind the fact that it was small enough to fit in her palm. ---
**Author:** ![eveanyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@eveanyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eveanyn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/35 "2006-04-12T18:21:26Z")
Don’t be fooled! Cats do this on purpose, just looking for a lawsuit. I hope you didn’t admit fault after the kick. If you did, his lawyers will tear you to shreds. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/36 "2006-04-12T18:35:20Z")
> [@Nanoda](#): > > A friend of mine owned two ferrets (which are a particularily hyperactive animal), and a while ago he told me he was walking down a hallway when one jumped _on top_ of his foot mid-stride. > > The thing went flying way down the hallway and _smack_ in to the wall at the end. The thing just shook it off, and he didn’t say if it ever decided to jump him again. 🙂 Our ferret used to attack my feet in mid-stride; he seemed to enjoy the short flights that resulted. He never learned to stop attacking; I never learned to anticipate the attacks. I miss that little guy a lot. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/37 "2006-04-12T18:51:39Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > What is more fun is jumping on the waterbed with a sleeping cat on the other side and watching said sleeping cat regain consciousness as it goes airborn. Extra points if it splats into the wall. Our cats like to snuggle down between my wife and I on the bed, hogging all the covers. We’ve discovered that if we both grab the blanket and turn away from each other fast, we can almost hit the ceiling with our smallest cat. She does not think this is funny. (The cat, that is. My wife thinks it’s hilarious!) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/38 "2006-04-12T18:59:10Z")
As I think I’ve mentioned here before, the fuzzy black land shark who lives in my house gets periodically punched in the head. It occurs when he silently curls up on the back of the loveseat behind me, and I, unaware of his presence, stretch out my arm into the same space at some point thereafter. No injuries, just a lot of glaring. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Keeper\_Of\_Secrets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Keeper\_Of\_Secrets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeper_Of_Secrets)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/39 "2006-04-12T19:27:50Z")
Originally posted by **JustAnotherGeek** [hyjack] BTW. Have any of you guys tried “Video Catnip” for your cats? It’s nothing but a video of birds and rodents, but watching Max watch this video was one of the most amusing things I have seen in ages 😃 [\hyjack] [/QUOTE] I had this experience with the well-known documentary"Winged Migration". One of the clowder of three at my house leaped to alert state the minute it started and watched with rapt attention and delight, frequently pursuing prey on the screen. It was indeed amusing and charming beyond words. (I had to put a bench in front of the TV so he was level with it, lest he injure himself trying so desperately to reach the birdies.) He became a little obsessed with it and would hover in front of the TV hoping I would put it on for him. The first time I did (after his original viewing), he was clearly ecstatic, muffining and purring up a storm for a good five minutes before shifting into video hunter mode. He would run into the room any time he hear the chirps of the opening scenes. I ended up getting a copy just for him, which I edited down a bit since I’d come to know his favorite scenes. I’ve seen cats at one of our cat shelters watching the actual “Video Catnip” tape - they have a TV permanently set on the floor playing it in a loop (though I’m sure they turn it off at times). Funny how a certain percentage of a group (be it three, like mine, or a hundred, like the shelter) are absolutely enraptured, while the remainder seem to not even notice it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2006, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301/40 "2006-04-12T21:10:50Z")
Oh, this thread is too funny. The ads are even funny - Kitten Care, Searching for Cats?, and Kohl’s Kicking Camps. 😃 😃 😃 For those of who like [launching cats - the kitten cannon.](http://www.addictinggames.com/kittencannon.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-kicked-a-kitten-today/352301.md?page=3)