# I knew it!! It wasn't a massive seismic event; it was gay people. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233 "2005-01-05T18:06:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/1 "2005-01-05T18:06:41Z")
[It was only a matter of time:](http://www.365gay.com/newscon05/01/010505gayDisaster.htm) > [@](#): > > ``` > (Riyadh) A leading Muslim cleric says that the tsunamis which devastated South Asia and killed more than 150-thousand people were Allah's punishment for allowing gays into the affected countries. ... > > ``` > > “All that’s left for us to do is to ask for forgiveness We must atone for our sins, and for the acts of the stupid people among us and improve our condition. We must fight fornication, homosexuality, usury, fight the corruption on the face of the earth, and the disregard of the lives of protected people.” Yup. India, Sri Lanka, the Maldives, Burma, Somalia – [totally](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_which_permit_or_outlaw_homosexual_behavior#Asia) your 2004 gay pride circuit destination. You’d think that if gay people were the determining factor, God would have sent a tsunami to… I don’t know… the North Sea? The Gulf of St. Lawrence? But no, totally. He’s absolutely right. Don’t fuck with us! We’ll all come to your country and see if we can get a volcano going this time. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/2 "2005-01-05T18:12:47Z")
If God was really that pissed at gay people, shouldn’t the tsunami have hit San Francisco? ---
**Author:** ![GLWasteful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f05b48/32.png) [@GLWasteful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GLWasteful)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/3 "2005-01-05T18:12:53Z")
Frankly, I’m a little surprised that it’s taken anyone this long to blame it all on gays. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/4 "2005-01-05T18:13:20Z")
Nah, the earthquake was caused by global warming. Gay people cause hurricanes. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/5 "2005-01-05T18:13:59Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > If God was really that pissed at gay people, shouldn’t the tsunami have hit San Francisco? Just wait! Any second now… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/6 "2005-01-05T18:14:44Z")
When you’re done with the volcano, would you mind making some asteroids his Jupiter again? I just got a new telescope and I’m simply dying to try it out on some bitchin’ homoclismic event. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/7 "2005-01-05T18:17:47Z")
Damn fags. And don’t think we haven’t noticed that huge frickin’ asteroid you’ve been hiding away behind those toning products and copies of _Wallpaper_\* magazine. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/8 "2005-01-05T18:18:59Z")
Ohmygawd! He’s right! There’s a fornicating homosexual usurer living right downstairs! I must smite him before he fornicates…um, usuriously again! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Sheesh! Can just _anybody_ be a cleric? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/9 "2005-01-05T18:20:11Z")
Woah. Freaky simulpost. And thank you for the edifying mental image created by the phrase “homoclismic event”… ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/10 "2005-01-05T18:21:28Z")
> [@](#): > > (Riyadh) And people keep saying Iraq, Iran or Syria are the problems. When will people wake up re: Saudi Arabia? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/11 "2005-01-05T18:21:52Z")
> [@GLWasteful](#): > > Frankly, I’m a little surprised that it’s taken anyone this long to blame it all on gays. To be fair to the irrational bigotted assholes, they’re also blameing it on userers, fornicators, and the corrupt. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/12 "2005-01-05T18:25:53Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > Sheesh! Can just _anybody_ be a cleric? :dubious: Yes, but you have to swear off of edged weapons. Plus, there’s a lot of clerical work. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/13 "2005-01-05T18:32:38Z")
Hi, I’m Dante, and I’m an ordained minister with the [Universal Life Church](http://www.ulc.org/). Just got off the horn with The Big Guy, and He says He didn’t send out any such memo, in any of His incarnations. He does want me to go find that cleric and bitch slap him with a rolled up copy of Out Magazine though, so I won’t be picking up my emails for a while. FYI. **"homoclismic event" is now my favorite saying** ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/14 "2005-01-05T18:35:20Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Yes, but you have to swear off of edged weapons. Plus, there’s a lot of clerical work. 😃 Yes, they were going to blame it on the gays earlier, but there was all of that year-end filing that needed doing. **Metacom** : I think that would be usurers. Knocks me down to a 50% probability of cataclism. Which I think I used to have classes for right after Mass… ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/15 "2005-01-05T18:37:34Z")
Usurer here. Just as a factual aside, Indonesia, Thailand and Sri Lanka are totally on the 2004 Euro gay party circuit. However, with the exception of Sri Lanka, the gay areas of these resort destinations seem largely to have been spared ([cite](http://www.365gay.com/newscon05/01/010305asia.htm)). And of course the hardest hit areas of all are the fundamentalist Muslim strongholds in Indonesia. So I’m guessing either the guy is wrong or God has extremely poor aim. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/16 "2005-01-05T18:40:08Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > If God was really that pissed at gay people, shouldn’t the tsunami have hit San Francisco? Fuckinay, we have giant-ass earthquakes every couple dozen years, what the fuck else do you want from us?! Anyway, even if we were to have a tsunami here, those crafty gays all moved to the very center of the City, with a couple of 700’ mountains between them and the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/17 "2005-01-05T18:41:49Z")
**lieu** from now on I shall refer to really great gay sex as a bitchin’ homoclismic event. 😃 > [@Exgineer](#): > > Nah, the earthquake was caused by global warming. > > Gay people cause hurricanes. Humph! I’ve been waiting for somebody to start pointing fingers. Florida gets hit by four major hurricanes and just by coincidence there’s this gay guy in south GA reeeeeeeeeal close to the Florida border. I see what you’re insinuating **Ex**. > [@](#): > > It happened at Christmas, when fornicators and corrupt people from all over the world come to commit fornication and sexual perversion. Some good came out of this. At least now we have a definition of the _true_ meaning of Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/18 "2005-01-05T18:52:55Z")
I thought gays were responsible for the 9/11 attacks. :rolleyes: I do see his point about usury, though. If God could just wipe the credit card people off the face of the Earth… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/19 "2005-01-05T18:53:14Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > It wasn’t a massive seismic event; it was gay people. Hah, it’s always about _you_. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233/20 "2005-01-05T18:54:20Z")
Hey! _I_ didn’t get any fornication or sexual perversion on Christmas… ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-it-wasnt-a-massive-seismic-event-it-was-gay-people/283233.md?page=2)