# I knew it! Pandas ARE dangerous! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 11, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165 "2008-11-11T05:54:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/1 "2008-11-11T05:54:23Z")
People said I was crazy. They told me pandas never hurt anyone. But they are _bears_, I insisted, and therefore more than capable and willing to maul you. I was told they eat bamboo, and are peaceful. I would point out they eat fish sometimes, so they have a taste for meat. [Well, I was right!](http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24635236-661,00.html) Never trust a cuddly animal! Oh, and unicorns are weaponised horses. Peaceful and majestic? They have _horns_, people. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/2 "2008-11-11T06:18:31Z")
Brent Sienna was way ahead of you, dude. ---
**Author:** ![PopeJewish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@PopeJewish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PopeJewish)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/3 "2008-11-11T06:38:25Z")
I don’t trust ANY animals, period (except my cat, of course, cause he’s a vicious beast and we both know it, but he protects me from the cephalopods whilst I sleep… you know, it’s probably better if you just don’t ask…) I’ve been bitten by LADY BUGS before. I was camping in California (Big Sur, I think, mighta been Big Basin though) and it was the day all the lady bugs were hatching, there were literally thousands of them everywhere. At first it was just annoying, then we started getting bitten, but were convinced it couldn’t be the lady bugs doing it. That lasted maybe a half hour, than we were all just convinced and annoyd (it hurts a bit, but not too bad, and they obviously aren’t venomous) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/4 "2008-11-11T06:51:06Z")
The victim was a 15 year old girl? Sounds like the rare Sexual Harassment Panda. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/5 "2008-11-11T14:42:35Z")
I always thought a panda eats, shoots and leaves 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/6 "2008-11-11T18:38:24Z")
The article says the panda licked her hand, then nipped it. This girl clearly does not have a cat, or she would have seen that coming… ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/7 "2008-11-11T18:54:17Z")
> [@Kotick](#): > > I always thought a panda eats, shoots and leaves 😉 ::clap clap:: Bravo!! Tripler [sub]Ever wonder how they get those rings around their eyes? Someone puts shoe polish on their scopes.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/8 "2008-11-11T19:01:57Z")
They’re not bears. Neither are koalas. Sorry for the nitpick. StG ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/9 "2008-11-11T19:16:45Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > They’re not bears. > > Neither are koalas. > > Sorry for the nitpick. > > StG Pandas ARE bears. [Panda](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panda) > [@](#): > > The Giant Panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca, literally “cat-foot black-and-white”) is a mammal classified in the bear family (Ursidae), native to central-western and southwestern China… > > For many decades the precise taxonomic classification of the Giant Panda was under debate as both it and the distantly related Red Panda share characteristics of both bears and raccoons. However, molecular studies suggest that the Giant Panda is a true bear and part of the Ursidae family, though it differentiated early in history from the main ursine stock. The Giant Panda’s closest ursine relative is the Spectacled Bear of South America. ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/10 "2008-11-11T19:21:05Z")
Nipped on the hand? Consultation with a microsurgeon? Avoid Scarring? You’re in china! On a school trip! I’d have had it bandaged and stayed there, it can’t have been that bad if there was no bone or tendon damage! Wish i got to go see pandas when I was at school… /tantrum ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/11 "2008-11-11T20:29:01Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > The victim was a 15 year old girl? Sounds like the rare Sexual Harassment Panda. 😃 This joke would have gone over my head a couple of weeks ago, but i happened to see that episode for the first time just last week. > [@Neverender](#): > > Nipped on the hand? Consultation with a microsurgeon? Avoid Scarring? > > You’re in china! On a school trip! > > I’d have had it bandaged and stayed there, it can’t have been that bad if there was no bone or tendon damage! > > Wish i got to go see pandas when I was at school… > > /tantrum My thoughts exactly. There’s no way i would want to cut short a trip to China to fly home for a sore hand. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/12 "2008-11-11T20:34:17Z")
[Video that shows how dangerous pandas can be](http://thatvideosite.com/view/2283.html). ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/13 "2008-11-12T03:13:38Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > [Video that shows how dangerous pandas can be](http://thatvideosite.com/view/2283.html). Holy crap! They ARE dangerous!!! :eek: All that cuddly, cute fuzzy face of theirs? It’s almost all jawbone, to crunch the bamboo that they eat. I am stunned that a nip from a panda didn’t take the girl’s hand clean off – pandas have more crushing power in their jaws than damn near any other mammal, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-knew-it-pandas-are-dangerous/472165/14 "2008-11-12T04:07:54Z")
> [@AllWalker](#): > > Oh, and unicorns are weaponised horses. Peaceful and majestic? They have _horns_, people. The reputation of the unicorn as peaceful is thoroughly modern. It’s easy to mythologize them now that they’re extinct. But, contemporary accounts note their ferocity.