# I know everything! Ask me questions. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836 "2018-01-30T21:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/1 "2018-01-30T21:54:32Z")
You meet a being that knows everything there is to know and always tells the truth. You are convinced this is true of it. This being gives you five minutes to ask three yes or no questions, which will be answered in order immediately after all three questions have been asked. What questions do you ask? BTW, if you ask it a question it believes is to vague to answer, it will ignore that question and you are not given a chance at asking a replacement question, e.g., “is there a god?” would be considered too vague to answer because of competing definitions of “god.” Oh, one other thing. If you ask questions because you want to make money from either gambling or investing/trading, it won’t answer. So “will the Eagles win the next Super Bowl?” or “will Apple be trading at over $200 a share at any time in 2018?” will go unanswered. Questions where the answer may help you make money in areas other than gambling or investing/trading are allowed. Don’t think too long. You have five minutes! ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/2 "2018-01-30T22:10:25Z")
Do I want to live forever? How do I live forever? Where are my car keys? ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/3 "2018-01-30T22:13:53Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Do I want to live forever? > > How do I live forever? > > Where are my car keys? No, No, Yes. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/4 "2018-01-30T22:16:07Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > No, No, Yes. Hmmm, yes, no. Foiled again… Any coincidence that the being has the same time limit as the edit window? ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/5 "2018-01-30T22:23:12Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Where are my car keys? Misunderstanding of yes or no questions aside, you wouldn’t ask that. I’m curious as to what you guys would really ask given the constraints. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/6 "2018-01-30T22:24:40Z")
Should I finally retire? Will my car last 5 more years? Will my husband last 5 more years? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/7 "2018-01-31T00:23:46Z")
Should I walk to school or carry my lunch? Is there a difference between a duck? ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/8 "2018-01-31T00:29:05Z")
How can I lose fat and gain muscle at the same time? What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Do you have any grey poupon? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/9 "2018-01-31T00:32:25Z")
Do Crows make good pets? Will I ever catch one? Will my other pets be jealous? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/10 "2018-01-31T00:47:02Z")
How do they get the milk into the coconut? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Deep dish or thin crust? GaryM ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/11 "2018-01-31T00:53:02Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > I’m curious as to what you guys would really ask given the constraints. … ---
**Author:** ![4d3fect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/4d3fect/32/9728_2.png) [@4d3fect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4d3fect)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/12 "2018-01-31T01:34:02Z")
Are there other universes? Can we communicate with its inhabitants? Do we want to? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/13 "2018-01-31T07:07:00Z")
If I were to ask you if the road on the left leads to the village, would you say “Yes”? ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/14 "2018-01-31T14:05:25Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > Misunderstanding of yes or no questions aside, you wouldn’t ask that. > > I’m curious as to what you guys would really ask given the constraints. One of the constraints was the 5 minute time limit, so I intentionally did not allow myself to give it much thought and was a bit “rushed”. “Where are my car keys?” may not be the actual question that I would ask in such a hypothetical (minus yes/no), but a similar mundane question of that nature relevant to what is happening at the time would be. The questions were in order: Philosophical, Fanciful, and Practical. (Plus, the most likely chance I have for encountering some sort of mystical being of power is while looking for my car keys.) Outside of investment advice, I really don’t have any really important questions that effect me personally. I could ask if my business will fail, but I really don’t want to know the answer. I could ask if I will find love, but same thing there, I’d rather be surprised. If I could be vague, I’d go with: Will I find what I am looking for? Will I know when I find it? Will it bring me happiness? I guess, having given it more than 5 minutes of thought, and therefore breaking the constraints that way: Is there intelligent life other than humans contemporarily existing within the galaxy? Can we communicate with them? Do we want to? ---
**Author:** ![Mavic\_Chen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mavic\_Chen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mavic_Chen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/15 "2018-01-31T15:05:13Z")
Will a plane on a treadmill take off? What is 15 k mf is an std (or whatever it was) Is coke better than pepsi? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/16 "2018-01-31T15:13:06Z")
Do you feel comfortable masturbating with a pet in the room? ---
**Author:** ![ASGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@ASGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/17 "2018-01-31T15:42:27Z")
1. My current age is 63. Will I be alive at age 83? 2. I have to know! Was Jimmy Hoffa alive in 1976? 3. Will the spot price of gold be $1,800 by April of 2020? ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/18 "2018-01-31T15:43:51Z")
> [@ASGuy](#): > > 1. Will the spot price of gold be $1,800 by April of 2020? Not allowed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/19 "2018-01-31T16:25:07Z")
Is there an afterlife? Will earthlings ever make contact with extra terrestrials? Will the Lions ever make it to the Super Bowl? ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/20 "2018-01-31T16:34:23Z")
If I continue to pursue a job in line with my interests will I eventually get one? Will the UK state pension still support me, (giving a more detailed description of “support me” to the being so it’s not as vague) at 68 if I only pay the legal minimum in? Did [redacted] really [redacted]? (Incident from my personal life.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836.md?page=2)