# I know everything! Ask me questions. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836 "2018-01-30T21:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/21 "2018-01-31T16:50:47Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > “is there a god?” would be considered too vague to answer because of competing definitions of “god.” Is there one or more eternal being who knows all, is all-powerful, and exists outside the physical universe? Can that being determine whether I exist for all eternity in a state of perfect bliss or a state of complete agony? Is there anything I can do to affect that decision one way or the other? ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/22 "2018-01-31T16:57:10Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Is there one or more eternal being who knows all, is all-powerful, and exists outside the physical universe? > > Can that being determine whether I exist for all eternity in a state of perfect bliss or a state of complete agony? > > Is there anything I can do to affect that decision one way or the other? I’m not sure what I would do with the answer to that last one. If it’s “no”, then at least I don’t have to worry about offending the sky god(same as if it were “no” to either of the previous questions). If it’s “yes”, then you have to worry about offending, but you don’t have any idea what may be an offense. Maybe just asking questions as to its nature is enough to condemn you. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/23 "2018-01-31T17:01:49Z")
Does she really love me? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/24 "2018-01-31T17:10:59Z")
Is the cat in that box alive or dead? Is it six of one, or a half dozen of the other? Is this wild mushroom I’m nibbling on safe t ---
**Author:** ![edwards\_beard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/25 "2018-01-31T17:43:13Z")
Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? Really? You? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/26 "2018-01-31T17:53:24Z")
Got this tune stuck in my head but I can’t think of the song. It goes “Hm hmm _him_.” What the hell is it? ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/27 "2018-01-31T18:56:43Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Got this tune stuck in my head but I can’t think of the song. It goes “Hm hmm _him_.” What the hell is it? You wouldn’t ask that. I keep requesting that I am looking for what posters here would actually ask in that situation. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/28 "2018-01-31T19:32:13Z")
I can’t think of many questions I’d only want a yes/no answer to. My first instinct was to ask it ''Am I doing the right thing?" but gods, what if it says no? :eek: Then I have to figure out what the fuck I’m doing wrong? An existential nightmare worse than not knowing. I feel this really limits things I’m interested in asking. 1. Is there intelligent life on other planets? - I could accept a simple yes or no from that. 2. Are my cats happy? - A ‘‘no’’ answer I could reasonably fix. 3. Will we receive a major inheritance? - this is a likely but not guaranteed scenario for us, so it would ease some financial stress to know for sure. That’s all I’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/29 "2018-01-31T19:47:29Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > You wouldn’t ask that. > > I keep requesting that I am looking for what posters here would actually ask in that situation. That’s what I get for only reading the thread title. :o ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/30 "2018-01-31T20:11:02Z")
#1 Are there other intelligent beings in the Universe? (If the answer to Question 1 is “Yes”) - #2 Have any of them traveled to within 1 AU of the Earth? (If the answer to Question 2 is “No”) - #2 Will we ever be able to download our consciousness into digital form? #3 Did Jesus actually heal people simply by touching them? ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/31 "2018-01-31T20:14:28Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > (If the answer to Question 1 is “Yes”) “which will be answered in order immediately **after all three questions have been asked** ” Sorry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/32 "2018-01-31T20:19:59Z")
Answers of just yes or no do little to quell life’s great mysteries. “Is there life on other planets?” If the answer is Yes, there’s no distinction if it’s sentient life that has a superior technology to humans, or just one-celled amoebas and microbes. You could ask if Lee Harvey Oswald really shot and killed Kennedy, but if the answer is No, how do you go about revealing the truth to mankind? “Oswald didn’t shoot Kennedy because an all-truthful being that only answers yes or no told me so.” There’s no supporting proof to take along with you. You could ask about personal matters, like this [transcript of an SNL sketch](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86qheaven.phtml) (the videos don’t load). ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/33 "2018-01-31T20:25:58Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > “which will be answered in order immediately **after all three questions have been asked** ” > > sorry. 🙂 dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/34 "2018-01-31T20:27:30Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “Is there life on other planets?” If the answer is Yes, there’s no distinction if it’s sentient life that has a superior technology to humans, or just one-celled amoebas and microbes “Is there sentient life on other planets with superior technology to humans?” “Do the New England Patriots cheat in every game?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Crap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.crap/32/3131_2.png) [@Dr.Crap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Crap)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/35 "2018-01-31T20:37:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Should I walk to school or carry my lunch? > > Is there a difference between a duck? The Oracle is comatose; I hope you’re happy. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/36 "2018-01-31T21:04:28Z")
Are all beings of your kind this dickish? Is there a reason for torturing me like this? Do you expect me to believe that? ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/37 "2018-01-31T21:18:15Z")
> [@naita](#): > > Are all beings of your kind this dickish? > > Is there a reason for torturing me like this? > > Do you expect me to believe that? OP didn’t specify _how_ the questions are to be answered. It could be one smack to the head for “yes”, two for “no”. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/38 "2018-01-31T21:24:45Z")
Is this really all there is? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/39 "2018-01-31T21:44:00Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Is there anything I can do to affect that decision one way or the other? > [@k9bfriender](#): > > I’m not sure what I would do with the answer to that last one. > > If it’s “no”, then at least I don’t have to worry about offending the sky god(same as if it were “no” to either of the previous questions). If it’s “yes”, then you have to worry about offending, but you don’t have any idea what may be an offense. Maybe just asking questions as to its nature is enough to condemn you. > [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > “which will be answered in order immediately **after all three questions have been asked** ” > > Sorry. 🙂 I could do more if the format were 20 questions, but the almighty OP only answers three. I could ask directly whether or not I’m going to Heaven, but a “No” answer wouldn’t necessarily mean there IS an afterlife, or if there is, whether I can improve my chances of eternal bliss. If the answer to either #1 or #2 or #3 is “No” then there’s no point in worrying. If the answer to #3 is “Yes” then I may worry about following a certain path to life, but since I’m already following a path that generally agrees with most of the world’s major religions, I can at least hope that it’s the right path. If I had more questions I could try to narrow things down to define what the right path would be, but that’s the best I can do with three. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-everything-ask-me-questions/807836/40 "2018-01-31T21:46:28Z")
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