# I know how to say my own fucking name!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 7, 2002, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112 "2002-12-07T08:46:27Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/101 "2002-12-08T21:43:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> shi-VAHN.

Siobhan.

See? I know how to spell it. 😉

Oh, people who write my name – The “H” comes _after_ the “O”.

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**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/102 "2002-12-08T21:59:49Z")

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My name is Paul.

People can even screw that up. Four letters, one of the most common names in history, even has a biblical connection, and they still can get it wrong.

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/103 "2002-12-08T22:55:55Z")

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You wouldn’t think someone could screw up a simple name like Jill, either, but you’d be amazed.

Listen up, people – I. Am. Not. A. Fish!

It’s J-I-L-L, not G-I-L-L. Nor is is G-I-L, or Jewel, or Julie or Joe. And yes, I’ve even gotten the Gill and Gil spellings after having spelled it out with a J to people.

Worse still is when you tell people your name is Jill and they mispronounce it Lisa.

Yes, you read that right – Lisa. I’ve been called Lisa so many times (dozens) in my life that I’m beginning to think I must’ve been Lisa in a previous life or something.

I even had someone ARGUE with me after I corrected him when he called me Lisa…

Him: So, do you want to go next, Lisa? (bungee jumping)  
Me: Who, me?  
Him: Yes, you, Lisa.  
Me: Oh, sorry, I wasn’t sure you were talking to me – my name’s Jill.  
Him: No it’s not. You told me it was Lisa.  
Me: Uhm, not I didn’t, because my name’s Jill.  
Him: Yes you DID. I SWEAR, when you first got here you said your name was Lisa.  
Me: Why would I do that? That’s not even my name!  
Him: Well I don’t know, but you did.  
Me: :rolleyes: Ok, whatever you say. But now I’m changing it to Jill, ok?  
Him: \<grumble, grumble\> (under breath) [sub]I know your name is Lisa.[/sub]

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**Author:** ![Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Random)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/104 "2002-12-09T00:01:40Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AntaresJB \*  
> \*\*Dumbass.
> 
> \*\*

It’s pronouced Du-MASS.

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**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/105 "2002-12-09T00:52:46Z")

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From way back in the thread:

> [@](#):
>
> If you have a foreign name like Bietz, or Gauthier…

Picky snot hat on:

I am of the firm opinion that in America there are NO foreign names. Period. There are English names, and non-English names.

Cases in point:

Eustace  
Basil  
Barton

These are English names that I have NEVER heard actually used in America. There of course is someone, but statistically, the usage is insignificant.

The point is that these are just as “unAmerican” as any other name, but since they’re English, no one has the guts to say it.

In fact, in this nation of immigrants, and having worked with thousands of 1st and 2nd generation immigrant kids, I would NEVER tell someone he has a “foreign” name.

Mind you, I wrote this same rant to NPR when they used the same term.

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**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/106 "2002-12-09T00:59:45Z")

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Before I changed my name, I had a Germanic last name that was not spelled the way it was pronounced in English, nor pronounced the way it was spelled in German. This was annoying, and caused me no end of grief as a child.

So I changed it.

Now, people try to reverse my first and last names. Including, apparently, the Social Security office, when I filed my name change.

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**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/107 "2002-12-09T01:30:43Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KellyM \*  
> **Before I changed my name, I had a Germanic last name that was not spelled the way it was pronounced in English**

I think this may be the same story with my name. While BEITZ is pronounced “Bites” in German, I’m willing to bet 19th century English speakers in the new world pronounced it “Be-it’s” or “Bets” or something like that, which may be why an ancestor changed it to “Bietz” which may be pronounced “Beets” in German, but 19th century English speakers had an easier time arriving at “Bites” with that spelling.

Then again, maybe one of my ancestors were drunk when he arrived at Ellis Island and misspelled his own fuckin’ name on the passenger list.😛

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**Author:** ![Tsubaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Tsubaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tsubaki)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/108 "2002-12-09T01:31:23Z")

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Would anyone here assume that **Deanne** is pronounced **DEEN**? Because I got that a lot whenever I had a new teacher. AFAIC, saying **dee-ANN** is a lot more logical (especially when you consider that most people can say **Leanne** properly).

And my surname is spelt **UENO** , and is pronounced just as its written (oo-e-no). How people come up with **Veno** is beyond me (especially after I’ve told them how its pronounced).

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**Author:** ![owlofcreamcheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@owlofcreamcheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlofcreamcheese)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/109 "2002-12-09T02:13:27Z")

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my SO has a name that I am reasonably sure she can not pronounce… last name she was born with even, but not the name of anyone that was alive (death of a parent, raised by a diffrent person)… I am fairly sure she has no really solid idea how to say her name. has two or three diffrent she pulls out at diffrent times…

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**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/110 "2002-12-09T03:57:31Z")

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My conversation with a substitute teacher taking roll:  
Her:Rubin?  
Me:Ruven.  
Her: Raven?  
Me:Ruven.  
Her:Why is there no “a” in your name, Raven?  
Me: Because my name is Ruven.  
Her:Don’t raise your voice to me young man!  
She continued to call me raven for the rest of the week she was the substitute.

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**Author:** ![Cessandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cessandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cessandra)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/111 "2002-12-09T06:14:10Z")

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My children are doomed to be future posters to this thread: Aryanna, Aoghdan, Seamus, and Lorelei/Uilliam (yet to be conceived). Yes, I meant to spell Uilliam with a U and not a W. My husband chose it. Needless to say I am hoping for a girl.

I, personally, am just glad to be married. My maiden name was Dykstra. I spent my youth insisting that I was neither gay nor related to any baseball players.

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**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/112 "2002-12-09T07:47:01Z")

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My last name is Polish. There are no consecutive Ys and Zs, no -ICZs, or anything remotely difficult to say. It is a completely phonetic name. I could understand if people mispronounced some of the vowels, like a short or a long in the wrong place, but I _constantly_ have people either adding or dropping letters from my name. It’s stupid.

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**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/113 "2002-12-09T09:21:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lezlers \*  
> \*\*My first name is Lezlie. It’s pronounced with a “z” not an “s”. My stepfather of 17 years still calls me “Leslie.” People at large still call me “Les.” Funny thing is, it doesn’t really bug me (I hardly notice it) but it sure bugs the hell out of my friends! They’ll LOUDLY correct people when I first meet them, which is quite embarrasing for me. Makes me sound like a prententious bitch. Of course, if someone tried to correct me on how to say my name, them’s would be fightin’ words… \*\*

My situation is the reverse of yours, if you could call it that. You see, my first name is “Leslie,” yet some people pronounce it “Lezlie.” Thank goodness the “Lez” and “Lesbian” jokes died off after high school. My friends don’t immediately correct people when they mispronounce it… however, if the people who mispronounce it have known me for years and do that (or misspell it), then my friends who know better leap to my defense. I have found it’s easier answering to both… nobody tells me that it **should** be pronounced a certain way, after all. 🙂

As for my last name, it’s only two letters long without a vowel, and so I can screen out telemarketers and such really easily. Some people who I meet for the first time do get it wrong, but generally after I correct them, they get it right from then on, thank goodness. If they don’t (multiple times / corrections later), then I get mad.

F\_X

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/114 "2002-12-09T11:45:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by arisu \*  
> **If Catriona is pronounced “ka-TREE-na”, why isn’t “Fiona” pronounced “FEE-na”? Or is it?**

Coz “Fiona” isn’t an Irish name. It’s Scottish (AFAIK).

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**Author:** ![Siemsi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Siemsi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siemsi)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/115 "2002-12-09T13:56:52Z")

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pkbites

FYI…I do feel your pain. It’s unfortunate, but your American pronunciation is incorrect.

In the German language, you pronounce the second vowel of a word —if there is an “ie” or “ei”. It’s the rule, not the exception.

Bietz = “Beets”

If your last name was spelled Beitz, THEN you would pronounce it “Bites” (where the “i” is prominant).

Hell, just blame your forefathers for not correcting the damn American’s when pronouncing your last name.

Hell. Try living with the last name “Csiszar”…gezz.

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**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/116 "2002-12-09T19:01:40Z")

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Just today, I’m on the phone and the woman on the line asks for my last name:  
Me: …i-n-s  
her: …ings  
When she verifies my name by spelling it for me, she omits the ‘g’. WTF?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/117 "2002-12-09T23:45:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by pkbites \*  
> …There is a historical arguement in my family whether the original spelling was Beitz rather than Bietz. A few of my relatives actual go with the “e” before “I” spelling. Guess what?  
> THEY STILL PRONONCE IT “BITES”!!!

Well sure, if you spell it “Beitz”, it would indeed be pronouced “Bites” in German.

:ducks and runs: 😃

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**Author:** ![Phoenix\_Dragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Phoenix\_Dragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phoenix_Dragon)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/118 "2002-12-09T23:49:09Z")

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My last name is Scottish in origin. Ure. Nice, short, simple. And nobody can pronounce or spell it. Everyone I say it to thinks it’s spelt Y-U-R or the like. Almost always a Y on the front. And I can count the number of people who have said it right from just seeing it written one one hand.

It’s a simple name, people 🙂

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**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\
**Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/119 "2002-12-09T23:49:51Z")

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Whoops–I didn’t realize this thread was three pages long, and the “Beitz”/“Bietz” issue had already been addressed.

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**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-how-to-say-my-own-fucking-name/141112/120 "2002-12-10T01:46:35Z")

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I don’t there are enough times to make the point that will satisfy pk. Thirtyseven million Germans couldn’t possibly be right.

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