# I know it's really shallow and stupid but... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926 "2004-05-25T03:20:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/1 "2004-05-25T03:20:26Z")
…I’m still disappointed that the _ugliest_ candidate won the Democratic nomination. We had such a good lineup this year too; the striking handsomeness of Wesley Clark, the gentle, classic good looks of Edwards, and Dean’s adorable rapscallion buck-toothed smirk. Even though I want the Democrats to win, I honestly don’t want to see Kerry’s hideous face all over everything for the next four years. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/2 "2004-05-25T07:12:42Z")
Kerry’s chin will be a welcome change from George’s smirk. Just pretend he’s Jay Leno. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/3 "2004-05-25T07:38:36Z")
Maybe we could get a little girl to write him a letter, asking him to grow his beard out, so he’d become more popular with the ladies. Hey, it worked once already. And back then, women couldn’t even vote themselves! ---
**Author:** ![whoisreadingthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b782af/32.png) [@whoisreadingthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whoisreadingthis)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/4 "2004-05-25T08:02:28Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > …I’m still disappointed that the _ugliest_ candidate won the Democratic nomination. We had such a good lineup this year too; the striking handsomeness of Wesley Clark, the gentle, classic good looks of Edwards, and Dean’s adorable rapscallion buck-toothed smirk. Even though I want the Democrats to win, I honestly don’t want to see Kerry’s hideous face all over everything for the next four years. ugliest President ever? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/5 "2004-05-25T08:27:12Z")
I found Dean’s smile kind of alarming, personally. He looked like he was getting ready to eat your head. I think Kerry would benefit from a beard, but he’s tall and somewhat stately; I think he falls into the middle of the pack when you throw in [the impish Kucinich](http://www.friendsofkucinich.com/pictures/mark-stowe-kucinich.jpg), [“I’m all jowls” Lieberman](http://www.hollandsentinel.com/images/011403/lieberman.jpg), and [Gephardt](http://www.onlineathens.com/images/101102/gephardt.jpg) [Here is a gallery with oil paintings of every President.](http://www.americanpresidents.org/gallery/index.asp) I’ll take Kerry over [James Monroe](http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/users/fennell/highland/monroe.gif) and a few others. I don’t think he’s ugly, but press photographers seem to have an easy time finding a bad angle on him. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/6 "2004-05-25T09:55:41Z")
> [@whoisreadingthis](#): > > ugliest President ever? Washington was no oil painting yet he got the votes didn’t he? Who the hell voted for the very un-pretty Nixon? ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/7 "2004-05-25T10:41:21Z")
On the one hand, it restores my faith in the American voter. They’ve been telling us for decades that we’re only interested in pretty faces, and now we go and vote for, well, John Kerry. On the other hand, we could have been looking at Wesley Clark’s lovely face for four or eight years. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/8 "2004-05-25T17:00:10Z")
Put a straw boater on Kerry and he looks like the Cold half of the Miser brothers from “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” If he can find a short fat running mate who looks like Heat Miser they can use the “I’m too much” song for their campaign music and take America by storm! ---
**Author:** ![Rex\_Fenestrarum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rex_fenestrarum/32/7265_2.png) [@Rex\_Fenestrarum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rex_Fenestrarum)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/9 "2004-05-25T17:14:05Z")
I used to think all of you people were shallow and silly. Until one day I referred to Paul Tsongas as “you know, that guy that looks like he’s here to fix the copier?” Yeah, you’d think with all the $$$ that Kerry has (heh - maybe I should have said “has access to”) he could get some botox or something. He could totally outdo Joe Biden’s rug anyday! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/10 "2004-05-26T00:05:30Z")
John Kerry isn’t a good looking man, but he’s not out and out repulsive. Just sort of a sad, homely face. Still, he does look like a trust-worthy individual-if we’re going by looks alone. Kind of like “Honest Abe”. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/11 "2004-05-26T03:23:35Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > Put a straw boater on Kerry and he looks like the Cold half of the Miser brothers from “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” If he can find a short fat running mate who looks like Heat Miser they can use the “I’m too much” song for their campaign music and take America by storm! Oh thank you thank you thank you **voguevixen** for mentioning Heat Miser!! That triggered a long lost memory in my head, allowing me to finally discover what that weird kids’ special with the thousands of islands and Rudolph was called, that I remember from my my childhood, but didn’t remember the name: “Rudolph’s Shiny New Year”. And now for the on OP portion of the post. John Kerry looks like an elongated Jay Leno to me. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/12 "2004-05-26T05:31:05Z")
[Kerry](http://cache.boston.com/globe/images/john_kerry.jpg) looks like [Andrew Jackson](http://www.bartleby.com/124/jackson.gif). It’s the hair that does it, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/13 "2004-05-26T07:58:00Z")
Oh, have we really come to this? Those of us who are old a decrepit can remember that Kerry was not all that bad looking as a young man. For me he’s just grown older, not uglier. But who the hell _cares_? I just want someone with eyes that look like somebody is home! Dan Quayle…Now there was a candidate for you, pizzabrat! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-its-really-shallow-and-stupid-but/246926/14 "2004-05-26T08:00:35Z")
Snort! I can just hear **Pizzabrat’s** great-great-great grandmother: > [@](#): > > Abraham Lincoln?!! Ooooh! Ick!