# I know these are some tight pants, but... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852 "2001-07-09T17:35:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/21 "2001-07-10T02:22:22Z")
Ya know, you say “dress blues” and people go and get the wrong idea. Dress Blues, United States Marine Corps style= one of the sharpest uniforms in the entirety of the US military, women gawk, men nod approval, children ask if they can grow up to be like them. Dress Blues, United States Air Force style= looks like you should be driving a bus. 'Course, it’s better than the “Ice Cream Man” Navy uniforms, so… ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/22 "2001-07-10T02:26:06Z")
Nooo! You misunderstand. I enjoy dress uniforms of all walks of service. IMHO, the Canadian Navy has the best dress uniforms. The mess kits are the absolute best that I’ve ever seen. USAF is running a close third, right after USMC. And I’m a_Canadian Army Brat_ so you know that’s saying a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/23 "2001-07-10T03:26:17Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Simetra \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Yup. Wear 'em every day. 🙂 Have to look nice seeing as I interact with our customers all the time. Ya know, **Tripler** could attest to the tightness as well. Of course, he lives up north in the cold, so he probably doesn’t have as much of a problem… \ \ 😉 > \*\* This is an unfortunate truth . . . Even for the three days of summer (August 8 - 11), I still don’t get noticed down _there_. BDUs leave some to the imagination. Even then, the only comments _I_ ever get is “Hey baby, nice mittens!” 😃 Tripler But I know the chicks all dig my ‘snowplow’. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/24 "2001-07-10T08:29:39Z")
Try this… take a piece of paper, puncture some holes in it with a needle, and fix it to your zipper so that it dangles down in front of your “package”. So the next time someone stares at it, you can grin at them and say, “It’s braille.” ---
**Author:** ![Nothing\_But\_Net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e47c2d/32.png) [@Nothing\_But\_Net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nothing_But_Net)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/25 "2001-07-10T08:52:19Z")
Come on, dude, it was all in your head, you decide which one. It’s true, a man in uniform is irresistable to women. Probably because of the incredible family benefits you receive. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/26 "2001-07-10T12:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rasa \* > \*\*I object to this statement… I have never had fun with said penis… \*\* Well, you never asked. 😉 Now, I’m afraid that ship has sailed. Okay… okay… more like a canoe. No? Would you believe inflatable Walmart raft? Oh and **thinksnow**. That Marine uniform is pretty tight, but the AF looks dang nice too. Can’t we all just be brothers? 😉 Well, except for the Navy 'cause they look like Hitler’s SS in the winter. ((Merely a fanciful jest.)) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/27 "2001-07-10T13:45:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Iguana Boy \* > \*\*Hey, are you Jewish? You… **look** …Jewish… 😃 \*\* [slight hijack] A friend of mine was at Minicon, an SF convention in Minneapolis. He went swimming on Saturday morning. Afterwards, while waiting at the elevator with some friends, he was approached by several men who asked if he was Jewish. They said they wanted to have services that morning, but they needed one more for a minyan (they need a certani number of circumsized bar-mitzvah’d guys before they can take out the Torah and have services). He said sure, went up to his room, changed and went to help. What confused him was how they knew he was Jewish, dressed in glasses, t-shirt, bathing suit and sandals. Easy, I said. That’s what you get for wearing a Speedo. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/28 "2001-07-10T14:06:19Z")
**Simetra** , as long as we all agree that the Army just looks silly with all their braids, cords and whatnot on their uniforms, I think we’ll get along swimmingly. Nice jab on the Navy, too 😃 I think it goes without saying, really, that anyone in uniform looks pretty darn good, so it follows that your trousers become a display case for your package. You should make like Mel Gibson in _What Women Want_ and do the little pelvic lifts or whatever when you catch women looking. 😛 - **ts** [sub](who grew up 3 miles from Wright Patterson AFB)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/29 "2001-07-10T15:04:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Course, it’s better than the “Ice Cream Man” Navy uniforms, so… > [@](#): > > Well, except for the Navy 'cause they look like Hitler’s SS in the winter. Them’s fightin’ words! /cowardly lion voice/ Put 'em up! Put 'em up?! C’mon! I’ll take ya both on both on! /c.l.v/ [sub]former HM2 who looked smashing in her whites and blues[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/30 "2001-07-10T15:09:16Z")
> [@](#): > > That’s what you get for wearing a Speedo. At the beach this weekend, there were two guys wearing Speedos. Now, they weren’t your typical fat, hairy guys with the preponderance of gold jewelry that you usually see (nothing against big guys or guys that are hairy). However, I thought to myself, “Ya know, if you’re that anxious to show off your package, maybe you should just go nude.” I mean, competitive swimming? Speedos are fine. Public beach? Please, leave them at home or just show us what ya got. Heaven knows, if I’m anxious enough to see, I’ll ask. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/31 "2001-07-10T15:15:59Z")
I guess now is the time to ask if there’s an equivalent expression for “camel toe” (aka “smuggling yoyos” and “moose lips”) for men. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852/32 "2001-07-10T15:21:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*…ask if there’s an equivalent expression for “camel toe” … for men. \*\* I’m not sure, but someday remind me to tell you the story of “Elephant Toe Lady”. \ /me puts up his dukes for **BunnyGirl**. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-know-these-are-some-tight-pants-but/71852.md?page=1)