# I learned a valuable lesson today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006 "2006-08-31T23:06:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![mks57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@mks57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mks57)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/81 "2006-09-07T07:16:50Z")
Don’t try setting off a flash bulb with a battery while holding the bulb in your hand. Never check the temperature of the disc on a car’s disc brakes with your hand. Second-degree burns are not your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/82 "2006-09-07T10:58:53Z")
[QUOTE=annanate] Never try to ride your bike down a slide. No good can come of this. [/QUOTE] Never try to ride your bike up a slide. You can’t do it, and even if you can, how do you get down again… Don’t try and ride your bike under metal asymmetric bars. By definition, one is lower than the other and your head remains at the same height… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/83 "2006-09-07T11:24:49Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] Despite your best intentions and natural instincts, there are some things that, if they fall off the counter, are better left to fall to the floor. Do not try to grab a falling: a) knife or scissors … g) shaving razor (thanks, **Surok** ) [/QUOTE] i) jar of pickles, as found out by Spanish goalie Cañizares _right before the effing World Cup_ :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/84 "2006-09-07T11:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Ms Macphisto] Also, be absolutely certain that all of the jalapeno residue is gone from your hands before removing contact lenses. [/QUOTE] Aaaahhhhhh! :: wince :: :: wince :: _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/85 "2006-09-07T11:59:10Z")
[QUOTE=the chicken of exeter] it was the male half. male catheterisation is harder, we didn’t bother doing female. plus, i think the teachers would be to embarrassed to ask us. we test most stuff on the blokes, since it generally involves being topless. [/QUOTE] Reason #29864 why _I_ am never going to med school. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/86 "2006-09-07T13:08:30Z")
[QUOTE=Ms Macphisto] Also, be absolutely certain that all of the jalapeno residue is gone from your hands before removing contact lenses. [/QUOTE] I’d say it’s good advice for anybody inserting a catheter too. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/87 "2006-09-07T18:52:02Z")
I skirted death yesterday… While opening a tin of kippers, the ring popped off of the tin. So, being the tool-using primate that I am, I grabbed some kitchen scissors laying conveniently nearby. I grabbed firm hold around the pointy end of the scissors, and leaned into the handle, managing to punch a couple of hole in the lid of the tin. Then, opening the scissors, I wedged one end into each of the two holes, got a firm hold on the tin, and twisted the scissors and tin hard in opposite directions. Pop. A corner of the tin lid popped open just enough for me to get a finger under it. I worked my index finger inside, feeling the tantalizing fishy goodness within, and pulled back on the lid. My grip slipped, from the kipper oil that was now spread everywhere I can only assume, and my finger slipped out across the tin edge. Yikes. No blood though, that was a close one. So I stuck my finger back into hole #1, and the point of the scissors into hole #2, and started working the tin back and forth in a slow rocking motion, with one knee braced on the countertop for more leverage. The lid slowly curled back free. I worked it until a good couple of inches had curled up, then put the scissors away. Safety first! Now, with two hands able to grip the razor-sharp oily exposed lid, I pulled with a slight shearing angle (to avoid any oil splatter, since I was still wearing my nice work dress shirt) until the tin was half-open. Now, with a couple of thumps onto a plate, the kippers slid right out with a gelatinous plop, next to my eagerly waiting crackers. Success! And not a single cut! So I learned a valuable lesson: Persistance is rewarded! ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/88 "2006-09-08T04:41:30Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Aaaahhhhhh! :: wince :: :: wince :: _shudder_ [/QUOTE] Yeah, I quietly acquired a few pairs of gloves from my lab for use in chopping jalapenos after that one. You’d think that multiple hand washings in the few hours between dinner and bedtime would be sufficient, but you’d be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/89 "2006-09-08T15:34:31Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Aaaahhhhhh! :: wince :: :: wince :: _shudder_ [/QUOTE] It’s true. Corollary: Two or three thorough hand-washes with soap are not necessarily enough. (Green chillies rather than jalapenoes, but who’s counting?) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/90 "2006-09-08T15:36:16Z")
Whoa, I could’ve sworn I’d read all the way to the end of the thread! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/91 "2006-09-08T16:03:27Z")
1. When cutting steel with a gas powered saw, be sure the sparks aren’t shooting at your pants. They will set items like that on fire. 2. For those who have cut dovetails by hand: when cleaning out the waste between the pins, make sure any finger not holding a chisel is out of the chisel’s path before swinging the mallet. 3. When driving your BMX bike off a patio three feet off the ground, be sure to have enough speed and torque to get the front wheel up. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/92 "2006-09-08T17:45:41Z")
Speaking of bikes… If you’re driving an ATV at night through a large field of two-foot grass and suddenly encounter a jaw-rattling, sheer two-foot drop, it is wise to keep in mind that it becomes a sheer two-foot wall on the return trip, and your jaw won’t be the only thing rattling when you hit it at speed. If you are the passenger riding behind the driver of the above ATV, and you realize that he has failed to keep the above caution in mind, remind him of it immediately and at the top of your lungs, not in successively louder tones beginning with a conversational voice. Helmets and loud combustion engines are hard to hear over, and by the time you’ve progressed near to top-of-your-lungs volume, you will already have been bucked off the back of the ATV. (I was the passenger) ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006/93 "2006-09-08T17:48:14Z")
Must remember:\* Stainless steel pot cover probably as hot as stainless steel pot on stove.\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-learned-a-valuable-lesson-today/371006.md?page=4)