# I lied. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2006, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027 "2006-04-03T04:58:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/81 "2006-04-03T06:52:44Z")
Wow. Holy shit! I can’t believe you did that. Dude, you need to get some perspective back. Stay away from message boards. Don’t argue with anyone—for a few months at least. Seriously. I don’t think there’s any bouncing back from this. And the best think to do, really, is just stop typing in this thread. You’re not helping things. . Accept the well-desrved shame. Let it surround you. Wallow in it. Then go see a therapist. I am not jokinig. You need help. Godspeed. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/82 "2006-04-03T06:54:20Z")
Is he really gone? You know, with all the open minded and understanding people on this board, you might have had a slight chance of recovery if you made some kind of well thought out apology. But instead, you post like five words or something. And then you just kept repeating the “im sorry part” like a child. THEN, you try to divert everyone’s attention to the whole “he’s a racist! did you see that!?” crap. You’re not sorry. If you were, you would have taken the time to come up with more than the half dozen words in your OP. If you really were sorry, and you actually took the time to apologize, then you probably could have redeemed yourself even from _that_. But “I’m sorry” isn’t an apology. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/83 "2006-04-03T06:59:37Z")
Well, we have to give him credit for telling the truth in the end. He is pretty fucking sorry. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/84 "2006-04-03T07:03:22Z")
> [@Xploder](#): > > At least that’s what I thought I was saying…I’m pretty fucking tired right now. Yeah right “tired”…snork ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/85 "2006-04-03T07:07:17Z")
> [@Updike](#): > > I said I was sorry, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I think I can help. You’ll have to follow a couple steps in order, but I think you can handle it. 1. Follow the link above called “User CP” 2. On the left menu click “edit email and password” 3. At the top of the page enter your current password. 4. Now this is the tricky part. On a piece of paper write down 12 random letters and numbers. Make sure it is something you’ll never remember. 5. Enter this random string of letters and numbers under “New password” and “Confirm new password” 6. Under “Enter new email address” and “confirm new email address” enter a random address. Something like “[laptopseller66@yahoo.com](mailto:laptopseller66@yahoo.com)” 7. Click “Save changes” 8. At the top right of the page click “Log Out” 9. Take the slip of paper from step 4 and flush it down the toilet. 10. Turn off the computer. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/86 "2006-04-03T07:08:38Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Yeah right “tired”…snork [Snork?](http://cartoon80s.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/snorks.jpg) Snerk? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/87 "2006-04-03T07:11:58Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > [Snork?](http://cartoon80s.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/snorks.jpg) > Snerk? Snork is like Snerk only drunker… ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/88 "2006-04-03T07:40:09Z")
“Paying customer”, my ass. **Updike** , you are the asshole customer that people always say, in customer-service threads, that a business can readily lose. Your claim is for to laugh. > [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > So now what – you going to claim you’re black? :rolleyes: [And a woman, two Jews and a cripple.](http://www.nndb.com/people/010/000023938/) (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/89 "2006-04-03T08:24:54Z")
Updike smells like Vlade Divac’s taint after a 3 hour jog. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/90 "2006-04-03T11:03:01Z")
Guys, really. Don’t dogpile on Updike. I know you can all be more mature than that. We’re all horribly offended here, but that doesn’t mean we have to let him get our goat. Just let it wash over you. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/91 "2006-04-03T11:07:39Z")
Someone took the goat?!? We have to get it back! ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/92 "2006-04-03T11:15:42Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > Well, we have to give him credit for telling the truth in the end. Just in the interest of accuracy, he was busted by Tom. He didn’t admit anything. Tom pulled a post from the past that made it clear Updike was lying. ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/93 "2006-04-03T11:24:36Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > Just in the interest of accuracy, he was busted by Tom. He didn’t admit anything. Tom pulled a post from the past that made it clear Updike was lying. I think you’re misinterpreting her statement. She’s saying he was telling the truth in that he was “sorry” as in pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/94 "2006-04-03T11:35:00Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > It’s not being used to denote anything racial, you moron, it’s being used to describe your maturity level. What you did is something only a very young child who didn’t know better would do. Heh, that’s the context my dad uses it in, when’s he’s doing his best to appear stern and forboding. Much as we love him, we can never respect him in that way when he’s putting on his “now look son act,” we fall about laughing too much. Sorry Dad 😃 Which brings us back to the thread the OP was caught out in, how can you say that about your parents, merely to try and redeem yourself in an internet discussion, you strange little person :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![grey\_ideas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@grey\_ideas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grey_ideas)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/95 "2006-04-03T11:53:18Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Guys, really. Don’t dogpile on Updike. I know you can all be more mature than that. > > We’re all horribly offended here, but that doesn’t mean we have to let him get our goat. Just let it wash over you. Agreed. There are various options, (1) Updike could just be having a moment as “a supernatural creature of Scandinavian folklore”, in which case we know the drill (2) Updike is still learning that he doesn’t need to have inflammatory posts to get attention (combined with the fact that if you make a mistake it’s okay to accept it and move on, the person who accepts their mistake is held in higher esteem than those who bluster and try and smokescreen their way out of it) (3) Updike has some ‘issues’, in which case the community should be trying to help out. I’m a little surprised that some people I wouldn’t have expected to have such an emotional outburst on here did just that. I realise it’s an emotional topic and that Updike made inflammatory statements but we’ve all seen that from posters before. It’s one of the things I’ve always admired about this board, the ability to recognise and not get wound up by people who appear determined (at times) to see how much of a response they can get. As **E-Sabbath** said “Just let it wash over you.”, to which I would add my slightly cruder version, “Don’t let the bastards get you down”. grey\_ideas ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/96 "2006-04-03T12:06:24Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Wow. I honestly cannot think of anything that I have ever witnessed on these boards that comes close to being this vile and reprehensible. Updike, I almost wish your parents \*had \*died on 9/11. Couldn’t happen to a better person. Look, I know we’re venting righteously and all that; but this sort of thing doesn’t make us look all that superior. It also skirts the “no wishing death on another poster” rule. I know there’s no “almost wishing death on another poster’s parents” rule, but it does seem to be right at the edge of what’s tolerated and perhaps letting emotion get the better of one’s good sense. Besides, have some pity on a self-admitted African-American orphan with a learning disability. For shame! Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/97 "2006-04-03T12:15:49Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Yeah right “tired”…snork Okay, I would have liked to say ‘drunk’, but since I have a sinus infection and am taking major antibiotics, I can’t even drink a beer so yeah, I’m tired. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/98 "2006-04-03T12:16:51Z")
Wow. **Updike** I actually can’t understand how you could even post one more time after being caught out like that. Not only were you being a idiot in the original thread you then pull the 9/11 BS and get caught. I would be too embarrassed to ever post again. Show some respect for yourself and just leave. You fucked up big time. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/99 "2006-04-03T12:27:49Z")
> [@Updike](#): > > I said I was sorry, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. Never posting again would be good. I realize that not much time has passed, and the mods need to think, but this seems like a clear-cut “don’t be a jerk” violation. **Updike** should be banned. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/100 "2006-04-03T12:42:27Z")
I think people calling for an apology or banning are way off base. I think he should keep on posting for as long as he likes, about whatever topic strikes his fancy. Of course, no one on here would believe him any more if he said he was carbon-based, but I really don’t see that as a problem. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027.md?page=6)