# I lied. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2006, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027 "2006-04-03T04:58:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/101 "2006-04-03T12:53:24Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Guys, really. Don’t dogpile on Updike. Actually, in my time here, I don’t think anyone has deserved a dogpiling as much as Updike for his recent nonsense. He told a crass lie invoking the single most destructive attack on our country’s citizenry. He told that lie in an effort to bolster his position in an argument. The position was that a kidnapped journalist, forced to make dopey anti-American statements by her terrorist captors, is a coward and a trator, a hanging offense. Terrorists have already done unspeakable things to other captives, on camera, yet she’s a traitor for saying patently laughable things under threat of death. That is the position he was supporting with his lie about 9/11. Then, when his lie is found out he says “I’m sorry.” and thinks that will make it all better. Not only does he think that, he gets mad and argues and stomps off in a huff when people don’t forgive him immediately. No, he deserves his dogpile. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/102 "2006-04-03T12:54:25Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > I think people calling for an apology or banning are way off base. I think he should keep on posting for as long as he likes, about whatever topic strikes his fancy. Of course, no one on here would believe him any more if he said he was carbon-based, but I really don’t see that as a problem. I think that only works if we can get his location permanently changed to “I lied about 9/11”. Otherwise the Banning seems reasonable. I felt a suspension was warrented until in this “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot thread” he tried to play the race card over someone describing him as a kid. That leaps from stupid jerk to complete jerk! Jim {or what Crotalus said much more simply} ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/103 "2006-04-03T13:35:06Z")
> [@grey\_ideas](#): > > I realise it’s an emotional topic and that Updike made inflammatory statements but we’ve all seen that from posters before. No, an “inflammatory statement” would be something like “I think all Arabs should be eviscerated and anyone who disagrees should be hung.” Something which is offensive and obviously intended to rile people up, but also something you ostensibly believe. This is a lie, which is different. He made up facts solely to garner sympathy and make his position more appealing. In doing so he poisoned the debate and made it impossible to have a reasoned discussion where we are all on the same page. It goes against every principle for sound debate that there is. I’d say he should be banned, but I don’t think many people will be seeing his posts after today anyway. No great loss, that. I just wonder what everyone’s reaction would have been if he’d have gotten away with it. If he hadn’t posted about his parents in the present tense in other threads. I have a hunch but it is likely to piss off most of the conservatives here so I won’t go into it. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/104 "2006-04-03T13:38:56Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > No, he deserves his dogpile. Fair’s fair. **Updike** made his assertions very publicly so open reaction was invited. This thread stays open. And **Updike’s** posting privs are under discussion. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/105 "2006-04-03T13:47:46Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > I just wonder what everyone’s reaction would have been if he’d have gotten away with it. If he hadn’t posted about his parents in the present tense in other threads. I have a hunch but it is likely to piss off most of the conservatives here so I won’t go into it. No, please, tell us. Especially since nobody was buying his stuff in the other thread. :dubious: People who tell whoppers like that always trip up somewhere. He would have been nailed eventually, of that I am certain. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/106 "2006-04-03T13:56:28Z")
Perhaps we should change the Basic Rule. From now on, if anyone gets warned by a mod, your apology should include, “I’m sorry, I was being an **Updike** ”. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/107 "2006-04-03T13:58:48Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > …snip… > I just wonder what everyone’s reaction would have been if he’d have gotten away with it. If he hadn’t posted about his parents in the present tense in other threads. I have a hunch but it is likely to piss off most of the conservatives here so I won’t go into it. As a moderate which on this boards puts me on the right, I support **Airman Doors, USAF** request, have fun and say what you think \*\*Uppy \*\* would have done, I doubt any conservative on the board would wish to be associated with him anyway. Jim {\*\*Updike \*\* is not a conservative, he’s just dumb, oh and a liar and a jerk that would play the race card for no factual basis} ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/108 "2006-04-03T14:03:51Z")
Do the exciting things always happen here on the weekends? I miss everything! Well, I saw the OP of this thread and must say I wasn’t surprised. **Updike** … well, like I said, not surprised. But then I started to read through the Imus thread and I must say it has my blood boiling. Why hasn’t **Updike** t been banned for behavior well, well, well, WELL beyond jerkness? ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/109 "2006-04-03T14:05:05Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > As a moderate which on this boards puts me on the right, I support **Airman Doors, USAF** request, have fun and say what you think \*\*Uppy \*\* would have done, I doubt any conservative on the board would wish to be associated with him anyway. There are conservatives on this board who have supported him in the past, neither one of you, but others who are not making their presence known on this thread. Search for old threads where **Updike** is involved and you’ll see who I mean. Those are the people who would have supported him if his dead-parent scheme wound up working. But like I said, it’s a hunch, I can’t prove it. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/110 "2006-04-03T14:08:39Z")
What’s even more laughable about the way he played the race card in this thread (in yet another attempt to yell, “Look at that!” and misdirect the hostility aimed deservedly at him) is that he did it in what I can only believe is a deliberately obfuscatory manner. Never once did he say “I’m African-American and you called me ‘boy’, you racist!” Instead, he posted such things as > [@Updike](#): > > Yeah, you call an African-American a “boy” and see how well that works out for you. Which leaves him plausible room to deny lying yet again when someone finds a Pit post of his titled “I pit you, Sun, for burning my lily-white skin!” ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/111 "2006-04-03T14:09:29Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > There are conservatives on this board who have supported him in the past, neither one of you, but others who are not making their presence known on this thread. Search for old threads where **Updike** is involved and you’ll see who I mean. Those are the people who would have supported him if his dead-parent scheme wound up working. But like I said, it’s a hunch, I can’t prove it. Supported him by saying “I’m sorry those people are picking on you, but you’re still an asshole and incorrect on this issue as well”? That seemed like the limit of support he was going to get in that thread, to me at least, and I’m right of most people here. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/112 "2006-04-03T14:10:04Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > Perhaps we should change the Basic Rule. From now on, if anyone gets warned by a mod, your apology should include, “I’m sorry, I was being an **Updike** ”. Other uses: 1. Don’t go all **Updike** on us. 2. He/She was a total **Updike**. 3. You can’t just pull an **Updike** out your ass. CITE? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/113 "2006-04-03T14:14:21Z")
> [@Seven](#): > > Other uses: > > 1. Don’t go all **Updike** on us. > > 2. He/She was a total **Updike**. > > 3. You can’t just pull an **Updike** out your ass. CITE? Well, if **Updike** doesn’t get banned as a result of all this, he’ll at least have the pleasure of continuing on the boards as a living walking joke. Imagine … **Some Poster:** Did you hear about that poor kid with cancer? **Updike:** Stupid kid! Shouldn’t have been living near that chemical factory! He deserves to die! **Another Poster:** Ha ha ha! There goes **Updike** , right on schedule … ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/114 "2006-04-03T14:27:42Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > **Some Poster:** Did you hear about that poor kid with cancer? > **Updike:** Stupid kid! Shouldn’t have been living near that chemical factory! He deserves to die! > **Another Poster:** Ha ha ha! There goes **Updike** , right on schedule … You missed a bit. In reply to the final jab: **Updike** Hey, all my family died of cancer. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/115 "2006-04-03T14:29:23Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Your claim is for to laugh. Nice work 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/116 "2006-04-03T14:33:22Z")
For me, the greater jerkiness wasn’t his lies about his parents, it was his attitude toward Jill Carroll. Lies that many people could see through and that weren’t relevant anyway? Meh. Calling for the hanging of a kidnapped woman essentially because she’s still alive? It’s like killing a rape victim for bringing disgrace on the family. And there’s a real person who suffers the repercussions of statements like that: Jill Carroll. No one was hurt by a bozo on the internet claiming his parents died in 911; Jill Carroll is hurt every time some cretin attacks her. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/117 "2006-04-03T14:34:18Z")
You know, **Updike** , I’m sure it doesn’t matter one bit to you, but I have lived in (and just outside of) NYC for the majority of my life. I had family and friends in those buildings. By the grace of G-d alone - all of mine got out. Terrified, banged up, still not quite how they used to be - but alive. A close friend lost her Godfather - he was flying home after her cousin’s wedding the evening before. Of all the things you could have said – why that? I know there are others here with similar stories. I believe some actually lost people that day. Why would you take real pain from real people and twist it and lie - and for what? To try to win some stupid arguement on a message board? I would tell you that you are an awful person - but right now I can’t even qualify you as “person”… ---
**Author:** ![grey\_ideas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@grey\_ideas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grey_ideas)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/118 "2006-04-03T14:35:13Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > No, an “inflammatory statement” would be something like “I think all Arabs should be eviscerated and anyone who disagrees should be hung.” Something which is offensive and obviously intended to rile people up, but also something you ostensibly believe. This is a lie, which is different. He made up facts solely to garner sympathy and make his position more appealing. In doing so he poisoned the debate and made it impossible to have a reasoned discussion where we are all on the same page. It goes against every principle for sound debate that there is. I’d say he should be banned, but I don’t think many people will be seeing his posts after today anyway. No great loss, that. > > I just wonder what everyone’s reaction would have been if he’d have gotten away with it. If he hadn’t posted about his parents in the present tense in other threads. I have a hunch but it is likely to piss off most of the conservatives here so I won’t go into it. The inflammatory statements were still there, the ones at the start (before his statement about his parents) and those are the ones I was meaning since those are the ones that kicked off the initial ‘discussion’ that resulted in his statement about his parents. Up to that point where he mentioned his parents he was being inflammatory, after that, yes…he did lie. Whilst what he said was reprehensible (comment about this parents) I am concerned about what it says about someone who when backed into a corner feels the need to make up ‘facts’ to support their argument. I realise that people are just venting at the moment and that Updike does have something of a track record for coming out with some choice comments but still, I’d hope that someone can learn from their mistakes rather than be forced away from somewhere that could help them. Updike seems to have a history of lashing out when backed into a corner, whilst it may not be the popular opinion I hope he does stay and learns something from all of this. He’s going to have to take some stick for a while I suspect, but maybe he will be able to use each dig that comes his way as a reminder of “I messed up” rather than getting defensive/aggressive. grey\_ideas ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/119 "2006-04-03T14:37:32Z")
> [@Updike](#): > > Don’t worry your pretty little heads. I won’t be back. Pissing off paying customers is always a good idea, of course. I’m done here. I’d be willing to bet that the Adminstration has pissed off many more paying custormers by not banning you outright than by letting you stay. I’d agree with many others that that your actions in the other thread were the single most vile thing I have ever seen on the board. And then to top it off, in an “apology” thread, you begin to accuse other posters of the racism on grounds that would be absurd even if you were black, which I don’t believe you are. This in my book indicates you are totally irredeemable. The only thing you can do now is leave and not come back. There is no hope for you here. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027/120 "2006-04-03T14:52:47Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I’d be willing to bet that the Adminstration has pissed off many more paying custormers by not banning you outright than by letting you stay. Word. > [@Colibri](#): > > The only thing you can do now is leave and not come back. There is no hope for you here. Double word. I wonder how Updike’s parents feel about this jackassery. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lied/351027.md?page=7)