# I like my women how I like my coffee... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784 "2005-06-18T03:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/1 "2005-06-18T03:20:35Z")
Hot and sweet. Hot and black. First thing in the morning. And my favorite… Irish. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/2 "2005-06-18T03:22:25Z")
I still get big laughs with: “I like mine strong and black. Like my men.” Blows the conservative midwestern minds of my coworkers. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/3 "2005-06-18T03:23:36Z")
Covered In Bees! ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/4 "2005-06-18T03:25:09Z")
…hot and black. …black and at work. …rich and black. …black and bitter. …freshly-ground and in a carafe. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/5 "2005-06-18T03:25:55Z")
Best one I ever heard came from Wayne’s World on SNL, between Garth’s Mom (Candice Bergen) and Wayne: “I like my coffee the way I like my women.” “How’s that?” “Milk and two sugars.” “What’s that mean?” “I have no idea.” ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/6 "2005-06-18T03:37:18Z")
I like my men like I like my overpriced Starbucks beverages - tall, skinny, sweet, and extra-hot. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/7 "2005-06-18T03:39:08Z")
Once upon a time I was a cashier at Dunkin’ Donuts. I asked an old white man, white his old white wife in tow, how he wanted his coffee. “Strong and black, like I like my women.” I freakin’ died, and his wife hit him good-naturedly. ---
**Author:** ![Dinaroozie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Dinaroozie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinaroozie)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/8 "2005-06-18T03:39:48Z")
Actually, I really do like my men how I like my coffee - not at all. Mind you, I’ve never really _tried_ coffee, but every time I consider the possibility, I just know somehow that it’s not my thing. Obviously the analogy doesn’t work so well with women. ~ Isaac ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/9 "2005-06-18T03:42:17Z")
… hermetically sealed until I’m ready to grind. … in a spill-proof travel mug. … flavored with chocolate and orange syrup (mmm, Mocha Valencia.) ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/10 "2005-06-18T03:46:19Z")
Scalding my groin. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/11 "2005-06-18T03:48:05Z")
…hot and strong… with a spoon in them. …in a plastic cup. …COVERED IN BEEEEEEEEES!!! On preview, I see **malkavia** beat me to the last one. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/12 "2005-06-18T03:55:22Z")
Pllease explain “covered in bees”. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/13 "2005-06-18T03:55:47Z")
…coming out the other end. …from a jungle. …buttered and fermented. …snorted. …owned by a pimp named JFG. ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/14 "2005-06-18T03:58:41Z")
Anyone seen that British coffee advert: Woman in supermarket, sees handsome black man near her, catches his eye and picks up a Mocha Kenya instant jar (or something): “I like my coffee _exotic_. Like where you’re from.” Guy smiles, and says: “Weeelly? Shwopshire? How wuvly!” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/15 "2005-06-18T03:58:59Z")
…iced. ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/16 "2005-06-18T04:11:30Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > Pllease explain “covered in bees”. It is a joke Eddie Izzard tells. About why a beekeeper would not be able to chat up people at work. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/17 "2005-06-18T04:48:54Z")
…hand-picked, put in a sack, and thrown on the back of a donkey by Juan Valdez. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/18 "2005-06-18T05:04:29Z")
… once in the morning, and again while I’m watching Oprah. … strong enough to make me poop. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/19 "2005-06-18T05:18:38Z")
…like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and sealed in a wooden barrel. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784/20 "2005-06-18T05:30:08Z")
[mafioso] …roasted, stuffed in a burlap sack and slung on the back of a donkey. [/mafioso] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-like-my-women-how-i-like-my-coffee/308784.md?page=2)