# I’ll tell the world, but not my friends. Beta-chan is not alone for long **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316 "2009-08-22T15:48:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/1 "2009-08-22T15:48:41Z")
“Honey,” a one-word wakeup on a weekday morning. So simple to say, but loaded with meaning. Good or bad, you can be sure a conversation is coming. “I’m late” does not mean that that is an event somewhere at that hour. It means that the faint pink line confirms her count, and Anya is to have a younger sibling. A high. Then devastation, then not. Roller coasters have nothing on these week’s emotions. But we’re ahead of ourselves, and on this beautiful Tuesday morning the tears have not been shed and the fears are yet to visit. A wakeup, not unlike another in what seems now like another world. Before we knew of happiness and sorrow. Of bliss and bile. On that morning in late January of a biting Tokyo winter when I was first ever told that I was a father. “Wow” was all I could say. To be a father. “Wow.” Such happy news. A child. Our child. My child. A word I could type all day without tiring. A child. Our child. My child. The cadence reverbs within the heart and a smile breaks. And then fear. A pink in a place that should not have been. And pain where it only means trouble. And a retest with the line even fainter. Our hearts go back to the past. When these same signs lead to such sorrow. When a tiny life was lost before it was begun. Just when all hopes is lost, things stabilize and the doctor says it may be all right. We catch our breaths, but innocence is lost and pure joy has fled. Cautious optimism is the word we hold onto. At ten months, Anya is too young to understand what is going on. The only thing she knows is that her source of comfort is drying up. There is no conclusive evidence either way, but the doctor’s advice is to wean her as breastfeeding may contribute to miscarriages. We study. We debate and reluctantly follow this advice. Anya already eats baby food and has been supplemented with formula for a while, so the breast has mostly been for comfort. The last couple of days have been rougher as she’s not used to this. I hope this will improve over time. So there we are. Happy, we think. Worried, we know. At five weeks, you only tell the ones you feel comfortable sharing the potentially bad news, for many weeks of real danger lie ahead. Most of our friends will wait, but for those here, who know our story, the ones who shared the tears and laugher of an anonymous family a world away, it would feel strange to not tell you. Cautious optimism. Which we hope soon will be shorten to one word. ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/2 "2009-08-22T15:58:25Z")
Wow. I wish only the best for you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/3 "2009-08-22T16:01:59Z")
Once again, **TokyoPlayer** , your words touch my heart. Good luck. I’ll be sending good wishes your way. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/4 "2009-08-22T16:03:42Z")
Just last night I was wondering about your family as I had not seen an update for a while. I will continue to think sticky thoughts for you and yours. My fingers are crossed for you.(toes too) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/5 "2009-08-22T16:20:45Z")
It’s nice to see _good_ news every so often! ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/6 "2009-08-22T16:22:48Z")
Hey, they’ve found out what causes that, you know. Okay, okay; heartiest congratulations and all that. Is this one gonna be Gamma-chan? ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/7 "2009-08-22T16:24:02Z")
Wow! It’s still early days, no question, but I’ll be crossing everything possible and sending new sticky thoughts your way! I hope everything goes as smoothly and happily as possible!! ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/8 "2009-08-22T16:24:43Z")
I too had been wondering how your family was doing! Fingers crossed for you all. I wish every child was as loved and wanted as Anya is. May there be even more joy for you. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/9 "2009-08-22T17:00:59Z")
Given your past history, I’d wondered if we might hear of a potential sibling for Beta-Chan in January. Well, best wishes for you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/10 "2009-08-22T17:03:56Z")
OMG! I totally misread the thread title “alone” as “around”! I have never been so happy to find that I misread something on the Net! YAY AND CONGRATS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/11 "2009-08-22T17:15:59Z")
Sticky vibes your way! ---
**Author:** ![lunar\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lunar\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lunar_elf)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/12 "2009-08-22T17:23:53Z")
Sending lots of sticky vibes! Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/13 "2009-08-22T17:27:29Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > OMG! I totally misread the thread title “alone” as “around”! I have never been so happy to find that I misread something on the Net! > YAY AND CONGRATS!!! \<–this. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/14 "2009-08-22T17:37:32Z")
TP, I think you’re going to have to take off your shirt and let Anya feel the warmth and comfort of your skin while she takes her formula. 🙂 Anyway, at 10 months, she’s already been given a great start on mother’s milk --and she’s also eating food,-- so you needn’t worry on her account. I’m excited for you, and I hope that everything goes well. My brother and I were 15 months apart, and that was a great gift for me/us growing up, so I think it would be really cool if Anya got a new sis or bro. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/15 "2009-08-22T17:38:40Z")
I saw your name the other day and thought to myself how I kinda miss those, “Stickie, stickie, stickie!” threads. While they were running, at least once a day, I’d think, “Stickie, stickie, stickie vibes, off to Japan with you!” And so the mantra begins again… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/16 "2009-08-22T17:47:44Z")
Crossing everything I can cross and still be able to cook, **TP**. _stickie, stickie, stickie_ _healthy, healthy, healthy_ ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/17 "2009-08-22T20:50:29Z")
Good luck, **TokyoPlayer** and family! Sticky, sticky, sticky! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/18 "2009-08-22T21:02:24Z")
Oh, we Dopers are very very good at sending sticky vibes. So, we will whisper sticky sticky vibes for now, until you’re ready to shout it from the rooftops. Who knew you could repeat perfection? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/19 "2009-08-22T21:02:34Z")
Gamma? Best of luck and adhesiveness redux. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316/20 "2009-08-22T21:27:59Z")
Congrats! Sending out good thoughts to you, the missus and the new little one. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-ll-tell-the-world-but-not-my-friends-beta-chan-is-not-alone-for-long/507316.md?page=2)