# I loathe Hit and Run drivers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 7, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332 "2013-03-07T23:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/21 "2013-03-12T00:17:11Z")
My favorite drunk driver is the nurse who hit a guy that got stuck in her windshield, then she drove home and left him to die in her garage, still in the windshield. That’s dedication, there. My second favorite drunk driver is the guy who accidentally decapitated his own drunk passenger. The police later speculated that the passenger was hanging his head out the window vomiting when the driver sideswiped something (can’t remember what, but they found the head later). The really cool thing is that the driver was so drunk he didn’t even notice he was driving with a decapitated passenger. He drove home and parked and went inside to sleep, and someone noticed the corpse in his car the next day. I love drunk drivers for their entertainment value. You can’t make this shit up. ---
**Author:** ![sidhechaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sidhechaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidhechaos)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/22 "2013-03-13T04:40:28Z")
> [@AnthonyElite](#): > > I fully endorse this pit! > > Why the fuck do we let repeat offenders drive, for that matter? > > Some asshole the other day told me that we give them a chance to get their license back because otherwise they will just drive illegally. > > I have a solution to this: if you get caught drunk driving you can never drive again. If you get caught driving again we break your driving ankle. If you get caught DRUNK driving again; we pour a just-barely-lethal dose of alcohol down your throat and watch you squirm. as the op put it, in MY kingdom anyone who is caught drunk driving a second time , anyone who molests a child or is a repeated rape offender is surgically paralyzed from the neck down, his eyes gouged out, his ears ruptured and his tongue cut out. Unable to hear, see feel or speak they are dumped in shitty nursing to lay there motionless blind deaf and mute to drive themselves insane in their own head knowing that they were stupid and horrible enough to commit any of these crimes KNOWING what the penalty was and they bloody damn well deserve it. Hell, I suffer from chronic pain issues and I certainly don’t drive while on my meds despite that they don’t impair me, and I also won’t drive if I’m in a lot of pain because I KNOW that impairs my reactions. Part of why I suffer the chronic pain is having been cut out of a 4 car pile up caused by, you guessed it, a drunk driver. even with a concussion and a dislocated shoulder the police had to restrain me from beating the shit out of the stupid bitch when I realized how loaded she was, she had a 4 year old in the back seat. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/23 "2013-03-13T04:59:21Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > My favorite drunk driver is the nurse who hit a guy that got stuck in her windshield, then she drove home and left him to die in her garage, still in the windshield. That’s dedication, there. Wasn’t there a run of those a few years back? For a while, it seemed like every month there was a new “pedestrian stuck in windshield” story. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/24 "2013-03-13T05:07:48Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Wasn’t there a run of those a few years back? For a while, it seemed like every month there was a new “pedestrian stuck in windshield” story. I only heard of one, I think maybe in Texas, but if you know of more I’d like to hear about them. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/25 "2013-03-13T15:51:23Z")
There was that one time I was hanging out in the park with family and friends, when my aunt Maggie got all dizzy and fell down. This was before cellphones, we needed someone to find a payphone quick! Young me, wanting to be a hero, jumped up on bike and went to the nearest 7-11. While I was on the bike path, a rollerblader overtook me from behind and we both ended up in the bushes. Everyone was okay, but thanks to **ducati** , I got the electric dildo for a year before they finally shot me in the back of the head by the pit. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/26 "2013-03-13T16:03:09Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I only heard of one, I think maybe in Texas, but if you know of more I’d like to hear about them. [Chante Jawan Mallard](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chante_Jawan_Mallard) Serving a 50 year prison term. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/27 "2013-03-13T16:15:23Z")
I have no tolerance for people who bury other people alive. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/28 "2013-03-13T16:27:52Z")
My post is surrounded by Darths! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/29 "2013-03-13T16:33:04Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > My post is surrounded by Darths! Well, you had to go and bring up Jawas. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/30 "2013-03-13T16:46:28Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > If you choose to drive impaired and then kill someone, I think you should die right away. That’s the problem - who “chooses to” drive impaired? If you’re that drunk, chances are that you don’t realize it. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > If you want to kill someone and basically get away with it, get drunk and use your car. I don’t understand why the laws are this way, but they are, and it’s wrong. This was an episode of _Quincy_ - after campaigning for a “nickel-a-drink law” (i.e. all bars add a 5-cent tax to each drink to pay for things like anti-drunk driving campaigns), it ended with Quincy discovering that the “drunk” driver’s blood alcohol level at the time was only 0.03; he had intended to kill the victim, and then get himself drunk in his car so he wouldn’t be charged with murder. > [@AnthonyElite](#): > > Why the fuck do we let repeat offenders drive, for that matter? > > Some asshole the other day told me that we give them a chance to get their license back because otherwise they will just drive illegally. > > I have a solution to this: if you get caught drunk driving you can never drive again. You answered your own question - you can’t “stop” somebody from driving without a license, and the minute you start doing random license checks, you get accused of doing it just to find the people in this country illegally. About the closest you can do is an ankle bracelet - it shouldn’t be that hard to determine if he is on a road. Of course, then you have to check to see if he is driving, as opposed to (a) being on a bus, (b) taking a taxi, or (c) having someone else drive him somewhere. _Disclosure statement: I got a four-year college scholarship from a liquor distributor._ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/31 "2013-03-13T17:52:46Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Well, you had to go and bring up Jawas. Oooh, good one! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/32 "2013-03-13T23:08:50Z")
> [@That\_Don\_Guy](#): > > That’s the problem - who “chooses to” drive impaired? If you’re that drunk, chances are that you don’t realize it.\* How do you not realise you’ve had five rum and Cokes over the past three hours, or whatever? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/33 "2013-03-14T19:34:26Z")
Once we all get our electronic chips implanted, it will be child’s play to install electronic ignitions in all cars and have them turned off if we have a DUI registered with our digital profile. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/34 "2013-03-14T20:27:41Z")
One night (in a bar) we tried to develop a way to truly prevent repeat drunks from driving (other than the aforementioned electric chair) and utterly failed. I think the most creative solution we came up with is the state impounds your car, paints it bright orange and adds lots of flashy orange lights and the letters “DUI” 3 feet high on each side, then returns it to you. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/35 "2013-03-14T21:00:42Z")
> [@That\_Don\_Guy](#): > > That’s the problem - who “chooses to” drive impaired? If you’re that drunk, chances are that you don’t realize it. However you chose to get so drunk you didn’t realize it. Admittedly I can’t talk from experience as I find I don’t like alcohol after 2 drinks and so have never been drunk, but it seems to me that if you are drinking so much that you aren’t aware of how much you have been drinking, you should have stopped long before reaching that point. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332/36 "2013-03-14T23:09:53Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Well that was entertaining. > > And I got to add a few names to my list of users who do the recreational butthurt schtick. Recreational, like this thread? Yeah, we hate drunk drivers. Aren’t we all special and wonderful? And screw those people who might have a more nuanced opinion of the situation. I mean, there’s not even a situation here. Someone literally just suddenly became aware of drunk drivers and decided to open a pit thread on it. And all of you are just jumping with glee, getting into contests on who can hate them more! I can say one thing for **pullin** : at least he actually did something about the situation, even if he also acted like a complete madman in doing so, pursuing it well after any sane person would have decided enough punishment had been wrought. See, nuance! The idea that not everything is all good or all bad! Try it some time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-loathe-hit-and-run-drivers/652332.md?page=1)