# I lost a potential student today.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2007, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471 "2007-08-05T01:10:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/21 "2007-08-05T14:07:04Z")
Tell you you _always_ say a prayer before practice. A Buddhist prayer. It’s the only one that works. Invite her to join in and give her a Buddhist Jack Chick leaflet. If they don’t exist, time to create one. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/22 "2007-08-05T14:13:06Z")
You’re Chancellor Palpatine, aren’t you? Your impressionable young Jedi students are being taught the dark side, aren’t they? I’ve already reported you to Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. Good thing I don’t teach Tae Kwon Do. Otherwise: > [@](#): > > Mom: “Might I ask why you don’t give thanks to God Almighty and his son Jesus for making it possible for you to practice?” Me: Because it’s not possible for me to practice. One of those little fuckers broke my rib with a bo staff on Monday, and I’ve got to wait a week before I can even swing my goddamned nunchucks. (Just to see the look on her face.) > [@](#): > > Mom: “Oh dear Lord. Come on, kids, we are in a place of evil.” Me: Gee lady, what was your first clue? My advertisement on the front door saying “Lern 2 Kill Peeps Without Weapons (Of course if they have weapons, you’re probably screwed)”? ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/23 "2007-08-05T15:20:17Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] \ I also wanted to say “Here’s your sign”, but I think it would have gone right over her head. [/QUOTE] Yick. I’ve been targeted myself for the religious makeover, but that incident of witnessing occurred at a child’s birthday party and the kid’s mom thankfully steered the horrified church lady (she was horrified at me for not being a Christian) away from the festivities. Help me out here…“Here’s your sign”? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/24 "2007-08-05T15:34:44Z")
[QUOTE=Electrical Storm] Help me out here…“Here’s your sign”? [/QUOTE] [Bill Engvall](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Engvall) routine. “Stupid people ought to be made to wear a sign so you know who they are.” Like asking someone who is fishing around through their car window with a coathanger “Locked your keys in the car?” “Nope. Just washed it and now I’m hanging it up to dry. Here’s your sign.” ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/25 "2007-08-05T15:52:20Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Mom: “Might I ask why you don’t give thanks to God Almighty and his son Jesus for making it possible for you to practice?” [/QUOTE] I wonder if this lady would have been satisfied with “We have a period of silence before every class that people can use to pray if they wish” or if nothing less than a mini-sermon delivered in a room with a total lack of heathens would do. ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/26 "2007-08-05T15:56:35Z")
Aaaah - got it. Thanks, **silenus**! Read the Wiki link and ignorance fought. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/27 "2007-08-05T16:11:05Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] “Yes, I would like to know how many of these used cars have been blessed with Holy water.” [/QUOTE] Since Holy water is one of the attributes of the [Whore of Babylon](http://www.eylerz.net/catholicism.htm), I expect a “yes” answer would send a True Believer scurrying for the hills even faster than **Clothahump** ’s response. After all, a vehicle so “blessed” would obviously be demon-possessed, and it would only be a matter of time before it devoured the TB’s soul. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/28 "2007-08-05T16:30:33Z")
_Snappy Answers for Stupid Christians Dept:_ [QUOTE=Clothahump] Mom: “Might I ask why you don’t give thanks to God Almighty and his son Jesus for making it possible for you to practice?” [/QUOTE] A) “Because Jesus taught Love and Turning The Other Cheek…and from the kamas on the wall, you can probably guess that this isn’t exactly what we’re all about here…” B) “Jesus & God Almighty… Jesus & God Almighty. Nope, they aren’t paid up-to-date at This Dojo. Unless…would you be settling up their bills as well?” C) “We instead practice a special move to knock Evil Spirits out of the heads of those possessed by them. Let me demonstrate…” _flat-palm strike to the center of her forehead_ “Get thee outta my dang Dojo, Satan!!!” D) “Sorry, but we lent our last Christ Warrior to FOX and they never gave her back.” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/29 "2007-08-05T16:54:00Z")
Probably bad karma. Teaching children Tae Kwan Do postpones the day when they can walk in the pure light of Shotokan karate, as The Buddha intended. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/30 "2007-08-05T17:04:12Z")
You never told us you were running an evil Tae Kwan Do studio. Will you teach me the five point palm-exploding heart technique? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/31 "2007-08-05T17:08:06Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] You never told us you were running an evil Tae Kwan Do studio. Will you teach me the five point palm-exploding heart technique? [/QUOTE] Wouldn’t that be heart-exploding palm techniques? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/32 "2007-08-05T17:11:48Z")
I feel obligated to point out, at this time, that [Jesus is probably a kung-fu sensei](http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/1956711.html). _sits in a corner and cries for her religion_ ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/33 "2007-08-05T17:31:03Z")
A slight slide slip on the topic – when I used to train in Aikido, my atheist friends who visited the dojo were sure that I had been snatched by a cult, since we bowed to the picture of O Sensei at the front of the room. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/34 "2007-08-05T17:55:04Z")
Besides, Taekwondo is totally inconsistent with the old “turn the other cheek” philosophy–she should’ve taken 'em to an Aikido dojo. Silly Christians! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/35 "2007-08-05T18:51:25Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] You should do up a padded target dummy as Jesus. Then you can teach kids how to properly kick Jesus in the nads, or break Jesus’s neck in one blow. Do you use pointy sticks in Taekwondo? 'Cause you could explain how the executioners got it wrong piercing Jesus in the side, and show your kids just where to stick Jesus for a clean kill. [/QUOTE] ROTFLMAOAPMP!!! Man, am I ever redecorating the school!! Or maybe not. The one person I know to be Christian in the school is my partner. And she’ll kick my butt. But, oh what a wonderful visual image that was, **Jim**. Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/36 "2007-08-05T18:55:08Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] You never told us you were running an evil Tae Kwan Do studio. Will you teach me the five point palm-exploding heart technique? [/QUOTE] We’ve improved it. It’s only four points now. 😛 Actually, I should have referred her to [this guy.](http://www.streetcombat.8m.com/main.html) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/37 "2007-08-05T19:13:35Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] We’ve improved it. It’s only four points now. 😛 Actually, I should have referred her to [this guy.](http://www.streetcombat.8m.com/main.html) [/QUOTE] No. [THIS GUY](http://www.losanjealous.com/img/06/a/jesusstatue.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/38 "2007-08-05T20:57:50Z")
No, [_this_ guy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfkHkdu5IEI)! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/39 "2007-08-05T21:49:01Z")
Chuck Norris can kick Jesus’ ass! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471/40 "2007-08-06T00:07:56Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Mom asks if we start classes with a prayer. [/QUOTE] “Only two days a week. It takes a while to hose the lamb’s blood off the practice floor so we don’t do it every day.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-lost-a-potential-student-today/414471.md?page=3)