# I love bad/odd translations... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430 "2011-06-30T21:01:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/1 "2011-06-30T21:01:48Z")
Sometimes, of course, they are incredibly bad and hilarious. But I think I enjoy the subtly odd ones just as much, if not more.They just make me smile. (Undoubtedly because I’m a bit of a language freak to begin with, so I’m hyper-aware of weird constructions) Like: > [@](#): > > Compact and retractable design which is _very welcome by buyers_. > [@](#): > > You can write with the pen _to invisible ink_ > It illuminates your message with the special light of the key ring > \*Look what you have written > You can use it in various and amusing occasions: > \*Secret messages > Invisible tattoos > \*Fantastic drawing in the darkness > Perfect secret > \*Personalized objects > Highlighter > Anti-counterfeiting Really? I get to write to invisible ink? Would that be Mr. or Mrs. Invisible Ink? And I get to look at what I’ve written? Oh joy! And finally… a pen that makes me draw fantastically in the darkness! > [@](#): > > This is a unique design - the cable comes with a built-in USB charger cable - so now you can use the same cable _to charge your apple._ > [@](#): > > Main Feature: > LCD clock can project on any _subjects_’ surface. > _Set to project seconds only for alternating month, date and time._ > The LED light beam is high intensity for projector. > Pocket size design with key chain,\* very convenient to take away.\* > Blue and black are available, _the color of item might be sent at random._ Very convenient to take away! Those bullies are gonna snatch this sucker right outta your hands! And as for the color of the item, well, we might just send you some blue…randomly…so watch out! ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/2 "2011-06-30T23:38:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Keep your iPhone 4G safe and secure when you _do some sports._ Anyone wanna go do some sports? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/3 "2011-07-01T00:10:40Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Anyone wanna go do some sports? That seems like a conventional (if casual) usage to me. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/4 "2011-07-01T00:17:56Z")
I work with research journals and related publications from all over the world, so I’ve had to cultivate patience with bad English. I’m talking, for example, medical journals that refer to a patient’s liver as “she”. Or “Harvard Finance Research”, which is published in Spain and has jack to do with Harvard as far as I can tell: [http://www.ascifi.eu/gestor/index.php?lang=en](http://www.ascifi.eu/gestor/index.php?lang=en) I suspect this one is using machine translation. Don’t miss the “Letter from the editor”, with its tribute to “Great Economists, Nobel laureate and jinn” and their “magic formulas”. If “jinn” are responsible for our finance, that would explain a lot, actually. As for packaging, which is where the OP examples seem to come from, I’ve got a box for a hand-cranked shredder here with some features listed: “Safety, simple and easy with hand” “It is facility to site anywhere in office” and suggested “Shredded-paper utilizable:” “Substitute to shock proof to avoid broken” “The raw material for shredded-paper picture” (???) “Mattress for animal” Then there are the typo-ridden safety warnings. “Pay attention to avdid rolled necktie, hair, necklance in operation.” “It’s danger to tounch the shred-slash with hand.” Yes, you do have to be careful what you “tounch” with hand. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/5 "2011-07-01T00:31:59Z")
I see shit like this everyday to the point where I don’t even pay it much attention… ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/6 "2011-07-01T00:53:31Z")
> [@ryobserver](#): > > "facility to site " I like that! “easy to put” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/7 "2011-07-01T00:54:35Z")
It’s always a dead giveaway on Ebay… I look for US sellers just for speed of delivery, and there’s a lot of Chinese sellers that claim to be in the US…but if you read the listing, it becomes very questionable. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/8 "2011-07-01T01:13:52Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I see shit like this everyday to the point where I don’t even pay it much attention… Yes - especially if you live in a city that prides itself on its multiculturalism. I received some marketing material in the mail today: > [@](#): > > Prepare your costumer’s fireplace for cold season with better rate and better service! > > Why to pay thousands dollars to buy and install new fireplace when you can easily renovate it with third price? You can save money and time with our new service: Fireplace Renovation! > > Call Dr. Furnace! 604-XXX-XXXX > > Note: These sales are just for Property Managements and Real States. Yeah, the lady who sews my Jedi robes can clean her own damned fireplace, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/9 "2011-07-01T15:00:53Z")
The best I ever saw was English to German (sort of) back in the 70s on a computer at a US military base. “Damen und Herren - touchen sie nicht oder is vill poppenkorken, springensnappen und blowenfusen. Danke.” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/10 "2011-07-01T16:01:55Z")
> [@ryobserver](#): > > “It’s danger to tounch the shred-slash with hand.” Yes, you do have to be careful what you “tounch” with hand. I don’t know what a “shred-slash” is, but sure _sounds_ dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/11 "2011-07-01T16:56:58Z")
I can enjoy much this thread. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/12 "2011-07-01T17:15:55Z")
> **[Engrish.com](https://engrish.com/)** > > Documenting the Engrish phenomenon from East Asia and around the world! or better yet, > **[Engrish Funny](https://failblog.cheezburger.com/engrishfunny)** > > To quote the great John McClane, 'I speak English and Bad English' - and this webpage is about the latter. If you like badly translated English, there’s hundreds of pages of it there. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/13 "2011-07-01T17:33:02Z")
Huh, looks like both links go to the same sets of pictures, just on different sites. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/14 "2011-07-01T17:58:21Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Huh, looks like both links go to the same sets of pictures, just on different sites. Not for me. **ryobserver** , that letter from the editor is great. This goes a long way towards explaining the European financial crisis, I think. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/15 "2011-07-01T19:04:39Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > I don’t know what a “shred-slash” is, but sure _sounds_ dangerous. It’s a shame I already named my kitten, because Shred-Slash would be a very fitting appellation for the little furball. “Welcoming you to my house. Be pleased not to pet the Shred-Slash.” ---
**Author:** ![OldnCrinkly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OldnCrinkly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldnCrinkly)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/16 "2011-07-01T21:10:19Z")
This is my husband’s recounting of our wedding. My lovey ain’t from around here. “Then he told me kiss the broad.” My friend has been laughing about this for the past month. ---
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/17 "2011-07-03T16:16:38Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > The best I ever saw was English to German (sort of) back in the 70s on a computer at a US military base. “Damen und Herren - touchen sie nicht oder is vill poppenkorken, springensnappen und blowenfusen. Danke.” [Another version.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinkenlights) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/18 "2011-07-03T16:21:33Z")
My old ('86) Subaru had an instruction in the manual (I think concerning the 4WD option) that read When button is yes, go. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-bad-odd-translations/587430/19 "2011-07-03T16:46:25Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Anyone wanna go do some sports? No thanks, Sport. D&R 😃