# I LOVE my prenuptial agreement! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814 "2012-10-05T15:22:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![gms453](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@gms453](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gms453)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/141 "2012-10-07T02:24:42Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > And as we all know from the television masterpiece, “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”, you should never make an assumption. You’ll be an ‘ass’ and the ‘ump’ will ‘shun’ you. I made no unreasonable assumptions. The vast majority of pregnancies are not caused by rape or the failure of birth control, and nothing the OP said gave any indication that either of those two circumstances were the cause of her pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/142 "2012-10-07T02:30:35Z")
Nope, you’re wrong. Your simple question assumed the marriage to a person she was doubtful of, apparently didnt love, to simply raise a child was based on a planned pregnancy? Just stop. It was a lousy question and stop defending it. I’m done, I won’t allow myself to post about this silly hijack any longer. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/143 "2012-10-07T02:34:18Z")
You asked, “Why did you allow him to impregnate you?” That contains the assumption that she allowed him to impregnate her, as if she was the ultimate arbiter of this decision. Your question presumes that the decision wasn’t mutual and the responsibility wasn’t equal. That is asinine. You might as well ask “why did he allow you to get pregnant?” ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/144 "2012-10-07T02:36:45Z")
> [@gms453](#): > > No, it didn’t. Nothing in the OP’s narrative even remotely suggested that she “accidentally” got pregnant. And if she had, she could have answered my simple and straightforword question with a simple and straightforword: ‘I didn’t; it was an accident.’ What are you trying to get out of this? Scenario A: the pregnancy is planned. She doesn’t owe him a goddamn thing and her prenup protects her from paying him. Scenario B: the pregnancy wasn’t planned. See Scenario A. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/145 "2012-10-07T02:38:24Z")
Wow- step away for a couple of hours… I really thought that the question about the pregnancy was intrusive and bizarre. What business is it of yours why she got pregnant? And what does it matter at this point, anyway? It seems to only be a rationalization of why she deserves to be stuck with a bum- “you made your bed, dearie!” It was a ridiculous question. ---
**Author:** ![gms453](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@gms453](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gms453)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/146 "2012-10-07T03:02:51Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > What the hell business is it of yours why someone got pregnant 16 years ago? What are you trying to say, anyway? That because THEY had an unplanned pregnancy that SHE deserves to live in squalor? Idle curiosity, I suppose. Don’t you wonder why the OP allowed a man she knew was a bum to impregnate her? Would you allow a man you knew was a bum to impregnate you? I’m not trying to say anything. I simply asked a question (to which, I might add, I’ve not yet received an answer). Squalor? What a silly accusation. I have said no such thing. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/147 "2012-10-07T03:03:08Z")
**gms453** , your question about why she allowed (sic) the man to impregnate her more than a decade ago is off-topic in this thread, which is about her impending divorce. Please drop the subject now; and everyone responding to him, pls. drop the subject as well. This thread is careening out of control; the next time I have to write a mod note in it I’m going to close it. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![gms453](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@gms453](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gms453)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/148 "2012-10-07T03:05:08Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > What are you trying to get out of this? > > Scenario A: the pregnancy is planned. She doesn’t owe him a goddamn thing and her prenup protects her from paying him. > > Scenario B: the pregnancy wasn’t planned. See Scenario A. See post #146. ---
**Author:** ![gms453](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@gms453](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gms453)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/149 "2012-10-07T03:06:10Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Wow- step away for a couple of hours… > > I really thought that the question about the pregnancy was intrusive and bizarre. What business is it of yours why she got pregnant? And what does it matter at this point, anyway? It seems to only be a rationalization of why she deserves to be stuck with a bum- “you made your bed, dearie!” It was a ridiculous question. See post#146. ---
**Author:** ![gms453](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@gms453](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gms453)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/150 "2012-10-07T03:07:27Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **gms453** , your question about why she allowed (sic) the man to impregnate her more than a decade ago is off-topic in this thread, which is about her impending divorce. > > Please drop the subject now; and everyone responding to him, pls. drop the subject as well. > > This thread is careening out of control; the next time I have to write a mod note in it I’m going to close it. > > **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator I agree; I will say no more. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/151 "2012-10-07T03:20:31Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > But he isn’t destitute - he has half ownership of a house, and he has a shitty job with low income that seems like one in a string of shitty jobs. And I have seen people with similar abilities and assets labeled “destitute” by the courts, and granted alimony despite a prenuptial agreement waiving alimony. It often isn’t as cut-and-dried a question as it appears to non-lawyers. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/152 "2012-10-07T03:38:31Z")
> [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > And I have seen people with similar abilities and assets labeled “destitute” by the courts, and granted alimony despite a prenuptial agreement waiving alimony. It often isn’t as cut-and-dried a question as it appears to non-lawyers. **Q.N.** , it is good to see you back on the boards again. I’ve missed your contributions. Nextly, I agree with you. IME, a prenup waiving spousal support isn’t necessarily enforceable until a court says it is; which means that there may yet be a surprise in store for **Foxy40**. For her sake, I hope there isn’t; but as a lawyer, I am with you, **Q.N.** , in thinking that this question may not be as cut-and-dried as it appears to laypersons. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/153 "2012-10-07T03:41:35Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > It sounds like you’re screwing him out of some money because you can, not because it’s right. > [@grude](#): > > Sounds like you ARE screwing him out of money, I mean unless it was a sham marriage he did support you and help you in your career. I’d say the same thing if the genders are reversed. > [@astro](#): > > How nice for you. > > If this was Mr. Foxy40 posting about how clever he and his attorney had been in screwing his financially hapless wife I wonder if it would be taken. Regardless of the reasons for your divorce high fiving yourself for something like this is kind of vile. Two people made an agreement, and we have no evidence either of them was under any duress. Who are you to come along and say that one person is screwing the other just because they are adhering to the agreement? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/154 "2012-10-07T03:45:52Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > That’s exactly what I’m saying. You’re praising your lawyer but if your husband had made millions as a rocker, you’d be screwed, so your lawyer just got lucky that your husband’s band sucked. Why would she “be screwed”? You really need to get your head around the idea that people can make agreements that you wouldn’t make and that’s OK. It doesn’t mean that either party is “getting screwed.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/155 "2012-10-07T03:47:05Z")
Or it could be that he IS getting screwed, but by an agreement that he freely made. It’s not her responsibility to protect him from that. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/156 "2012-10-07T03:50:50Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Two people made an agreement, and we have no evidence either of them was under any duress. Who are you to come along and say that one person is screwing the other just because they are adhering to the agreement? It’s not really the agreement issue, it’s just the sheer crassness of crowing about it. Beyond this if the statement read this way I wonder how much “Way to go” back patting would be going on. > [@](#): > > I will be divorcing my wife. We have been married for 16 years and have separated before but this time it is the real deal. Although I knew that we signed a prenuptial agreement, I hadn’t really looked at it since we signed it. > > Up until a hour ago, I thought I would have to pay her off for the equity in the house. However, it is very clear in the agreement that property held by one person and paid directly from that person’s earning not held in a joint account will not be a joint asset. Even if purchased after the marriage. > > I am so happy my lawyer knew what he was doing. We both earned very little back then but I knew my career was taking off and the disparity would some day be great. Unfortunately for her, the years have proven me right. > > If this attorney was still in practice, I would send him a bottle of champagne ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/157 "2012-10-07T04:26:07Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Beyond this if the statement read this way I wonder how much “Way to go” back patting would be going on. I get that you and a few others want to grind this particular axe about how the poor, poor men of the world would be shunned for this, but I think that’s a lot of fantasy. Still, this is the 2nd time you’ve brought it up in this thread alone so I thought I’d comment to keep you from having to go for a 3rd try. Firstly, do you not see the ration of shit she’s been given here? There might be a few people here who are congratulating her and some more who are telling her they’re glad she’s out of a bad relationship (more neutral) but there are just as many if not more giving her crap so unless you’re reading this through some kind of decoder ring I cannot see I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here. Unless every post is “YOU HATEFUL SHREW!” it’s some kind of attack on men? Next, your gender changing quote is disingenuous because it leaves out the rest of the story she told us as the thread moved on. There is more to the story than what little bit you reversed genders on and I daresay some people (myself included) took that into consideration when reading it. Sticking to that little bit to prove some kind of gender bias is leaving out too much information for your accusation to ring true. Lastly, there have been plenty of divorce stories here over the years and there have been threads picked apart about both sexes. There’s always enough nitpickery and let-me-decide-your-character-based-on-a-few-paragraphs nuttery to go around for both sexes here on ye old Straight Dope. As far as I can tell it’s a bountiful gift of crap for both sexes. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/158 "2012-10-07T06:01:15Z")
Ya’ see. THIS is why we can’t allow gays to get married. If this thread doesn’t prove to you the sanctity of traditional marriage, I don’t know what will. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/159 "2012-10-07T11:08:00Z")
Kansas voids same sex marriages. Divorce is lex fori. What is the state of marriage of a same-sex couple if they have driven through Kansas on their honeymoon? This is why we can’t allow Kansas. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814/160 "2012-10-07T11:14:25Z")
On edit: And yes, this sort of [problem](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/ottawa-affirms-legality-of-same-sex-marriages-performed-in-canada/article552478/) has arisen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-prenuptial-agreement/636814.md?page=9)