# I love my wife dearly but she is a brainwashed Evangelical Trump supporter **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 22, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477 "2021-12-22T13:48:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/81 "2021-12-23T15:17:16Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > This is the part I don’t really get. So, you’ve been at odds for going on nearly 50 years? It doesn’t sound like Fox News, or Trumpism, is the source of your problems. This may be a classic example of “irreconcilable differences.” Yeah - that I don’t get. And even if the issue is Trump - that’s what - going on 5 yrs at least? ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/82 "2021-12-23T15:29:28Z")
> [@Bootb](#): > > Doesn’t **everybody** who gets the vaccine get it out of self-interest? I fail to see how this objection is valid. I didn’t. It’s moderately unlikely that I will be exposed to Covid, and if I do get it, it’s quite likely that it will be minor or even completely asymptomatic. My chances of _dying_ from Covid are pretty slim. I am scheduled to get the booster in a few days. I am not doing so to protect myself, I am doing so to lower my chances of being a vector to continue to spread it to others. I don’t _want_ to get the shot. I’m not a fan of needles, I’m not a fan of going somewhere I can’t take my dogs, and the second vaccine shot kicked my ass for a day and a half, and I have little reason to think that the booster won’t as well. Now, if you want to say that I got it out of _enlightened_ self interest, I can’t argue there. I am willing to go through some level of personal discomfort in order to live in a healthier, more stable society. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/83 "2021-12-23T15:35:34Z")
> [@Bootb](#): > > Doesn’t **everybody** who gets the vaccine get it out of self-interest? I got it so that that I don’t unknowingly spread Covid to my family, my friends, the clients at the food pantry and total strangers. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/84 "2021-12-23T15:47:26Z")
**czar, k9** - I feel very much the same. But didn’t self protection play at least PART of your decision? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/85 "2021-12-23T16:04:33Z")
A small part, maybe…but even if there was risk only to others but not to me, I would still get the shots. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/86 "2021-12-23T16:05:11Z")
Protection from dying or serious illness? Not really. The closest would be protection from having to quarantine, as that would be disruptive of my life, but at the same time, I would only quarantine out of a desire to protect others. Were I self centered enough to not get the vaccine, I’d probably be selfish enough to hide my diagnosis and continue to spread Covid to everyone around me. I also take an at home test once a week or so, and a few hours before I attend any social gathering. This does _me_ no good at all. But, since you capilitized _PART_ for emphasis, it would be hard to say definitively that it didn’t have any PART to play at all. So, let’s say 5%. ETA: on reflection, I suppose it really ought to be more like .1%, my estimated chance of dying or having serious complications from Covid. ---
**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/87 "2021-12-23T16:07:28Z")
I think the only real question is whether the two of you can find some agreed upon path to detente. You think her political views are abhorrent. She thinks your political views are abhorrent. You both know this about each other. Is there any space left for other things in your marriage? Can you both respect each other enough to agree upon topics that won’t be brought up because they will trigger anger? If not, get out of the marriage, because you are just wasting each other’s time. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/88 "2021-12-23T16:12:12Z")
How does she reconcile Trump being full vaccinated with her refusal to do the same? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/89 "2021-12-23T16:16:37Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > small part, maybe…but even if there was risk only to others but not to me, I would still get the shots. Oh, I feel the same. I’m in pretty good health and figure I can withstand most slings and arrows sent my way. But the damned shot is so easy to get, and there is no non-insane reason not to, that I would just as soon reduce the risk of personally getting really sick. Same reason I get flu shots (most years), despite never having had a serious case of flu. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/90 "2021-12-23T16:19:26Z")
> [@damarp](#): > > > [@digs](#): > > > > Seriously, you do realize you sound just like a Trump-Q-MyPillow disciple there > > How so? I advocate FOR TRUTH, a Trump-Q-MyPillow disciple HATES TRUTH. Is that how she sees it? Or does she also think her way of seeing this is THE TRUTH? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/91 "2021-12-23T16:21:15Z")
“Hypocrisy” as an accusation doesn’t register with Q-Anon and/or Trump supporters any more. It is a tool used to win. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/92 "2021-12-23T16:30:44Z")
To clarify, to a Trump supporter, accusing them of “hypocrisy” makes no more sense to them than accusing a sports player, “Why are you helping your teammates score while trying to **prevent** the _opposing_ team from scoring?” To them, it’s not even hypocrisy, it’s playing the game the way they think a game is played. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/93 "2021-12-23T16:34:29Z")
Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/94 "2021-12-23T16:41:33Z")
Right, because they don’t think of politics as something that is actually important to how the country is governed, they see it as a sport. They also don’t mind if their side cheats, while making unfounded accusations of cheating of the other. Since they know that there are no refs in this “sport” of theirs, _all_ that matters is winning. Scratch that, they don’t even care about winning, the only thing that matters to them is the other side losing, even if that means that they lose too. Treating politics like a spectator sport may indeed be how the Republicans view it, but I would say that that’s an extremely unhealthy way to try to govern a nation. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/95 "2021-12-23T16:44:52Z")
Getting back to the OP: You really can’t persuade someone until/unless you know what their true underlying motives are. Until then, all argument is nothing but surface quarreling that never gets to the root of the matter. Does your wife feel the strong inner need to live in a world where one side is clearly good and the other side is clearly evil? (That’s what motivates a lot of Fox viewers, the network presents a clear narrative of good vs. evil that scratches that itch for viewers.) What other underlying motives does she have? ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/96 "2021-12-23T16:46:31Z")
I see it more as doublethink. Either vaccines are bad, or Trump is never wrong. At the moment it’s best she believe the latter. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/97 "2021-12-23T17:01:21Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > This is possibly a hijack but we’re 72 posts in… > > I wonder if it might be possible to teach critical thinking in the abstract. > > Like, not talking to a trump supporter about trump, but just having a conversation about critical thinking, about skepticism and standards of evidence. The trumpist would probably agree, but think of themselves as someone who _does_ already think skeptically. > > Then, maybe days later, when they’re talking about how Hunter Biden was behind the Cuban missile crisis or whatever, you could refer back to what they agreed about wrt critical thinking. > > It would be an interesting experiment anyway. I’d guess they’d just try to change the subject: it’s hard (for anyone) to admit being wrong, but the cognitive dissonance would be hard to maintain. I mean, my impression is that this whole situation is rooted in identity politics. People whose identity is based on their skin color, gender dynamics, religion, nationality, etc who also think the country as a whole should reflect their identity feel their sense of identity is under threat by multiculturalism and by leftists who embrace multiculturalism. I don’t know if you can teach critical thinking skills to people who have been fed propaganda until they feel their sense of identity is under threat. Don’t the fear circuits in the brain like the limbic system override the more logical parts like the prefrontal cortex? ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/98 "2021-12-23T17:29:05Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Fantastic username/post combo here “Dump her. Here.” Would’ve been even better. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/99 "2021-12-23T17:41:26Z")
I agree with you, but I would say that identity politics is a big _part_ of it but it’s not _only_ that. I think the lack of critical thinking is a bigger one. I’m fortunate enough to not know any full-blown Trumpists. But I do know some people who sometimes believe, passionately, certain GOP claims. They are not all white. But they are all people who will believe things that anyone who understands standards of evidence would reject almost immediately. Like really stupid shit like drinking diet soda gives you disgusting genital lesions. Oh, and to reiterate what I’ve said in previous threads: I have no issue with Conservatism as a political philosophy. I’m not being ideological in condemning the GOP, FOX et al, they are a special flavor of absolute nuttery. If you’re a principled, mature, Conservative-leaning American you have two options. You can vote for someone principled and mature like you, or you can vote Republican. But you can’t do both. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/100 "2021-12-23T18:02:39Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > I wonder if it might be possible to teach critical thinking in the abstract. Teach it to an adult? One that has already made a bunch of choices based on their flawed heuristics? I don’t know. Critical thinking is something that needs to be started early. I think that one of the main reasons to focus on science in grade school isn’t so that students know the names of the planets, or to be able to diagram a seismic fault region, but instead, to know how to know how to do these things. Science encourages curiosity, and also encourages doubt. In order to learn about the world, you first have to acknowledge that there are things about the world that you currently do not know. Being able to doubt one’s own positions is one of the most fundamental parts of critical thinking. You also need math in order to be able to function in the world. Sean Carroll, in a recentish podcast, was talking about how most people understand probability. Something is either certain, impossible, or is a 50/50 chance. Understanding probabilities like .1% is something that we just aren’t wired for naturally, it’s something that needs to be learned. As many people that I know _hate_ science and math, I can only blame our education system in general for that failure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477.md?page=6)