# I love my wife dearly but she is a brainwashed Evangelical Trump supporter **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 22, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477 "2021-12-22T13:48:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/101 "2021-12-23T18:31:40Z")
That you still love your wife after 47 years of evangelicalism, five years of being an ardent Trump supporter, and two years of anti-vaxxing, tells me that you’re willing to put up with a lot for the sake of staying with her. Most of the suggestions here are 1) divorce or 2) avoid talking politics and avoid trying to prove her viewpoints border on batshittery. But there does seem to be a hybrid option of both of those: have you considered staying married but living apart, like in the same neighborhood or apartment building? This isn’t as uncommon as you might think, and does seem to work for married folks with vastly different needs and boundaries. You’d have more limited exposure to someone not vaccinated, wouldn’t constantly be around her conspiracy theories, and have your own safe haven of sanity to retreat to whenever you need it. I know that’s also a rather expensive option and a luxury, especially if you’re on disability income. If divorcing would increase your income, that’s also an option people take advantage of yet still remain in a loving relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/102 "2021-12-23T18:36:12Z")
> [@Horseflesh](#): > > Most of the suggestions here are 1) divorce or 2) avoid talking politics and avoid trying to prove her viewpoints border on batshittery. I forgot the “3) Hi Opal!” Do we still do that here? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/103 "2021-12-23T18:38:13Z")
Something that has been noticeably missing in this thread thus far is what the wife _perceives her effect on the OP is._ Does she notice that she is bothering the OP with her Trumpy views? If so, what does she think of it? Is it annoyance that he is being “left-wing” in her view? Is it a regrettable, “Well, I know you don’t like it, but I must cling to Trumpiness anyway?” Does she see her views as an impediment to the marriage? If she were to start a thread here on the Dope, would it read exactly like the OP’s, just the opposite way (help, I love my husband dearly but he is a brainwashed leftie?) ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/104 "2021-12-23T18:52:20Z")
> [@damarp](#): > > My fervent dedication to TRUTH demand that I challenge every FALSITY. I can never forswear my dedication to TRUTH. Alas, I fear divorce may be my only course of action. Instead of requiring her to understand your POV, may it be better to form arguments using a frame of reference she already accepts? "You know, the Bible is full of instances where God has punished entire nations because of the sins and obstinacy of the ruling class- Egypt during Exodus is an obvious example. “So, honey, what was the sin committed by the United States when God smote us with COVID? If Trump is so Godly, and the Democrats so evil, why did God punish Trump?” “He didn’t do this.” “Stop lying to yourself, it is a sin. You saw God literally smite the United States with a plague, killing far more Americans than any other country. So… what was our sin, and why did God need to punish this sin while Trump was President?” More: > [@Christian arguments for Progressive ideals](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christian-arguments-for-progressive-ideals/953414): > > Inspired by this thread: The Right has been very successful in fusing some aspects of Christianity with their ideology. The above thread is a discussion about their latest tactics in this regard, which frankly is the culmination of 50+ years of fusing Christianity with the nativist Right. Anyway, in this thread, you have been asked by a progressive preacher to help her with a sermon: ‘Biblical arguments which support the Left’. She is glad for whatever you can offer - ideas, lists of Bible q… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/105 "2021-12-23T18:55:53Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > "You know, the Bible is full of instances where God has punished entire nations because of the sins and obstinacy of the ruling class- Egypt during Exodus is an obvious example. > > “So, honey, what was the sin committed by the United States when God smote us with COVID? If Trump is so Godly, and the Democrats so evil, why did God punish Trump?” [smiles sweetly] “He works in mysterious ways.” [/smiles sweetly] Plus, y’know, something about Job, and being tested? ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/106 "2021-12-23T19:30:25Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Plus, y’know, something about Job, and being tested? You are saying that the next Covid variant is going to cause boils? You know, people may actually get vaccinated against it then. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/107 "2021-12-23T19:34:48Z")
No. No, no, no. You don’t leave it for her to answer. My apologies for ending the post like that. You take it further. You go all the way. You adopt Christianity in the anti-Trump mode: “God punished us for the sin of electing a whoremongerer like Donald Trump as President. As the modern whore of Babylon, Donald Trump, a man who consorts with pedophiles and married a Communist prostitute (thereby making her First Lady of the United States), God responded to this insult by inflicting a plague upon us…” Just go on and on re: this theme. ‘God punished America with a plague while Trump was President, just like he punished Egypt under Pharoah. It’s a fact. You cannot lie about it. God didn’t wait to punish Pharaoh. He sent the plagues then and there. When happy with the man, God didn’t _bless_ David with a plague. Here is why he cursed the United States under the Reign of Trump…’ Be repetitive. Hit on this theme constantly. If you want to deprogram her, OP, it may best be done in the same language which programmed her. Don’t talk about science. Don’t talk about evidence. Don’t try to convince her on your terms, the best chance is to find faults in her armor of faith _via_ her faith. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/108 "2021-12-23T19:49:23Z")
> [@Horseflesh](#): > > I forgot the “3) Hi Opal!” > > Do we still do that here? If you must invoke Opal, it’s more proper to say [“3) Bye, Opal.”](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bye-opal/652666) ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/109 "2021-12-23T20:16:00Z")
Hm. How about Getting vaccinated turns you into a conservative? No? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/110 "2021-12-23T22:25:18Z")
Make a playlist of Mom’s favourite/era music, something you can dance to. Whenever she’s getting on your last nerve, turn the music on a little loud and take her in your arms to dance, with a big smile on your face! Y’know…dance it out! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/111 "2021-12-24T02:17:35Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Whenever she’s getting on your last nerve, turn the music on a little loud and take her in your arms to dance, with a big smile on your face! The best suggestion yet. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/112 "2021-12-24T03:49:02Z")
If it’s at all encouraging, George and Kellyann Conway are still together. There comes a point with the Dolt45 cult where you’ve presented all the arguments you can. After that, it’s casting pearls unto swine. I think it is highly unlikely that either of you are going to convert to the other’s political viewpoints. Given that neither of you are going to change, the question becomes: are political differences enough to dissolve an otherwise happy marriage? If you can continue to love her and are able to ignore her politics, then you stay. ---
**Author:** ![damarp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/damarp/32/9770_2.png) [@damarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damarp)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/113 "2021-12-24T13:05:01Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > paraphrasing a quote I’ve seen a lot in recent years, “you can’t use logic to argue someone out of believing something which they didn’t use logic to come to believe.” Good quote. Thanks I never heard it before but, I cannot go along with just allowing logic to become weak. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/114 "2021-12-24T13:17:14Z")
You can also buy her a Bible that has my [The Book of COVID](https://twitter.com/JohnT15/status/1460188431645040640?t=g3m7fguTKQwaOqvAJ5_QpQ&s=19) added to the end. 😏 Potential excuses: “It has a new afterward, honey!” “It is the extended edition!” ---
**Author:** ![damarp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/damarp/32/9770_2.png) [@damarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damarp)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/115 "2021-12-24T13:18:05Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Whenever she’s getting on your last nerve, There is no last nerve it’s a long slow torment. Kindness and love fail to mitigate fresh distress. Admittedly I have grown to be quite resentful that something precious has been stolen from me in plain sight. ---
**Author:** ![damarp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/damarp/32/9770_2.png) [@damarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damarp)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/116 "2021-12-24T13:21:58Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > paraphrasing a quote I’ve seen a lot in recent years, “you can’t use logic to argue someone out of believing something which they didn’t use logic to come to believe.” Good quote. Thanks I never heard it before but, I cannot go along with just allowing logic to become weak. ---
**Author:** ![damarp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/damarp/32/9770_2.png) [@damarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damarp)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/117 "2021-12-24T13:27:32Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > You might have better luck trying to influence her if you just focus on matters that present a danger to her health Yes, Now I am only committed on getting her vaccinated ---
**Author:** ![damarp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/damarp/32/9770_2.png) [@damarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damarp)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/118 "2021-12-24T13:34:43Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > Start to prepare for the worse (divorce) I’ve thought long and hard on divorce. I have reluctantly come to terms with the realization that I’m just not as capable as I used to be. Do I really want to start a new relationship all over again? ---
**Author:** ![damarp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/damarp/32/9770_2.png) [@damarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damarp)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/119 "2021-12-24T13:44:55Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > you are being forced to watch a lot of political stuff on TV I voluntarily follow current events via reputable sources which by itself is enough to outrage me. Her continued support despite the colossal depravity in plain sight prolongs that outrage. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477/120 "2021-12-24T13:53:53Z")
> [@damarp](#): > > I’ve thought long and hard on divorce. I have reluctantly come to terms with the realization that I’m just not as capable as I used to be. Do I really want to start a new relationship all over again? There are worse things than divorce…being in a terrible marriage is one. Marriage/pro: Love, support, sex, combined incomes, future goals Marriage/con: Rough patches, working things out, putting up with each other Singledom/pro: Freedom, autonomy, adventure Singledom/con: Loneliness at times, lack of direction, economically harder You can build those out more as you see fit. But it sounds like you have few of the benefits of being married while you’re cut off from the pros of a single life. If you were dating a brainwashed Evangelical Trump supporter, you could break up and keep looking. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-my-wife-dearly-but-she-is-a-brainwashed-evangelical-trump-supporter/956477.md?page=7)