# I Love Scottish Accents, but Voice-Activated Elevators Don't **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236 "2011-12-14T22:28:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/1 "2011-12-14T22:28:25Z")
I realize this is a sketch but it’s still pretty funny. > **[22 Words](https://twentytwowords.com)** > > A blend of everything from the serious & creative to the silly & absurd. Funny & fascinating viral content as well as more obscure pics, videos, & more. Although I wondered if there really was such a thing as voice activated elevators and wouldn’t they still have to have some sort of emergency release in cases of people that can’t talk or the AI doesn’t understand? ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/2 "2011-12-14T22:39:52Z")
My uncle has lived in England for over thirty years, but he still has a Scottish accent. It’s a thoroughly middle-class accent though. About as close to neutral BBC received pronunciation as you can get and still be distinctly Scots. The way Google Voice transcribes his voicemails is absolutely hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/3 "2011-12-14T22:46:01Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I realize this is a sketch but it’s still pretty funny. > > [http://twentytwowords.com/2011/10/11/voice-activated-elevator-cant-understand-scottish-accents/](http://twentytwowords.com/2011/10/11/voice-activated-elevator-cant-understand-scottish-accents/) > > Although I wondered if there really was such a thing as voice activated elevators and wouldn’t they still have to have some sort of emergency release in cases of people that can’t talk or the AI doesn’t understand? Computer? Hello computer? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/4 "2011-12-14T23:01:46Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Computer? Hello computer? Well, obviously they will work out in the kinks in the next couple hundred years. ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/5 "2011-12-14T23:19:11Z")
[Kind of related…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=McugOa3JmbQ#t=74s) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/6 "2011-12-14T23:31:57Z")
Reminds me of every dialogue I have with my TV/Cable/Internet supplier. “Welcome to Charter’s automated attendant. Press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support.” “One.” “You have not made a selection. Please press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support.” “ONE.” "It appears that you have selected Option Number Two. If correct, press or say “One.” “FUCKING ONE, You idiot computer!!!” “You have selected the ‘verbal abuse’ option. One moment, please, while I connect you with that department.” {♫ Doo-bee-doo-bee doo. ♫ Da-da-da-da da, ♫ doo-bee-doo-bee-doo…♫} “Welcome to Charter’s automated attendant. Press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support.” “AGENT! AGENT! AGENT!” “If you wish to speak to an agent, say, ‘Agent’ at any time.” “FUCKING AGENT!!!” “Welcome to Charter’s automated attendant. Press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support…” ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/7 "2011-12-15T00:16:45Z")
Huh. That’s a sketch from a BBC sketch show, Burnistoun, not ‘Star Productions.’ ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/8 "2011-12-15T01:58:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Reminds me of every dialogue I have with my TV/Cable/Internet supplier. > > “Welcome to Charter’s automated attendant. Press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support.” > > “One.” > > “You have not made a selection. Please press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support.” > > “ONE.” > > "It appears that you have selected Option Number Two. If correct, press or say “One.” > > “FUCKING ONE, You idiot computer!!!” > > “You have selected the ‘verbal abuse’ option. One moment, please, while I connect you with that department.” > > {♫ Doo-bee-doo-bee doo. ♫ Da-da-da-da da, ♫ doo-bee-doo-bee-doo…♫} > > “Welcome to Charter’s automated attendant. Press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support.” > > “AGENT! AGENT! AGENT!” > > “If you wish to speak to an agent, say, ‘Agent’ at any time.” > > “FUCKING AGENT!!!” > > “Welcome to Charter’s automated attendant. Press or say ‘One’ for Internet technical support…” That is almost word for word like the conversation I had several weeks ago with Social Security’s voice recognition system. An abomination before the Lord. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/9 "2011-12-15T02:06:12Z")
Funny! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/10 "2011-12-15T02:43:40Z")
“Are you from the same part of England as Dick Van Dyke?” “Freeeeedooooooom!” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/11 "2011-12-15T02:55:27Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > That is almost word for word like the conversation I had several weeks ago with Social Security’s voice recognition system. An abomination before the Lord. This! ALL voice recognition systems are abominations, just on the very principle of it, (even if a few of them work halfway decently). I’ve discovered that some such systems (at least the ones I’ve used) still accept push-button input – just count the options as the voice-menu reads them, and if you want, say, the third one, then push 3. When voice systems were newer, this was less common. I gather the number-entry is more commonly accepted now by popular demand. Automated phone-answering systems are high on my list of inventions the world didn’t need. ETA: And, thankfully, many such systems will still connect you to a live operator if you press 0 enough times in a row, or some other unrecognized input enough times in a row. Whether such operator speaks intelligible English is another matter. ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_Jackal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clockwork\_Jackal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_Jackal)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-scottish-accents-but-voice-activated-elevators-dont/606236/12 "2011-12-15T03:10:59Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I Love Scottish Accents, but Voice-Activated Elevators Don’t Yum. Me too. 🙂 I’ll be in my bunk. 😉