# I love sleeping with my wife and spooning her. We've been married for multiple decades. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 9, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595 "2011-12-09T05:27:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/21 "2011-12-11T01:11:19Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > While we’re on the topic of spooning, am I the only person that finds that position (of sleeping or cuddling) to be uncomfortable? > > I am a male and usually behind the girl. The times I’ve spooned with girls their hair is usually all in my face and I can never hear anything they say, from sweet nothings post lovemaking or asking when they’ll get their money\*, can’t hear it. > > Plus there is the issue of where the arm I’m laying on goes. Curled up and sticking into her back? Stretched out and at her ass? > > Or is the issue just that I’m terrible at spooning? > > \*That was a joke son, a joke! > [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > No. I don’t like it either. The idea of it was something I wanted, but the reality was that I couldn’t stand being a human teddy bear for more than 5 minutes. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > It’s not just you. Spooning is generally overrated. > > And cheers to the OP’s endless love. I love love. I look forward to the decades ahead with my beloved. I honestly don’t get you guys. Spooning is my favorite position, period. Even for having sex I’ll prefer to be spooning a girl - while kissing her neck, or just kissing her lips - over pretty much any version of missionary, doggy, or whatever. Even with short term encounters, my favorite possision by far is ‘da spoon’. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/22 "2011-12-11T01:53:21Z")
Hey R.P.! How’s your wife and my kids? ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/23 "2011-12-11T01:56:58Z")
As the OP I’m a bit embarrassed by this thread. It was late night and maudlin. There are other issues that weigh on my mind. Yet, maybe it does have merit as a MPSIMS in regards to spooning. First, I’m OK with the initial snarky responses. I put it out there. I can take it. I might have replied to the OP the same way. Second, obviously spooning isn’t for everyone. I have been led to believe that there are perfectly happy couples in long term relationships that can’t stand to sleep in the same bed. That’s their business, not mine. No judgements. Third, the awkward arm usually should go up and under the pillow. Fourth, to I and my wife, spooning has a special intimacy. In a sense, if my wife says “spoon me” at a very basic level it means more than just saying “I love you.” Fifth, and I think **polar bear** would understand this, when I kiss her back (that area below the back of her neck) I feel like I am telling her that I really do love her and like being close to her. So do whatever is comfortable for you. Again, it’s mundane and pointless but I just wanted to say it. We’ve been through a lot and there are challenges ahead. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/24 "2011-12-11T01:58:47Z")
I’m rarely as content and feel more cared for as when we’re sleepy in bed and my honey is spooning me. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/25 "2011-12-11T02:15:57Z")
> [@R.P.McMurphy](#): > > As the OP I’m a bit embarrassed by this thread. It was late night and maudlin. There are other issues that weigh on my mind. Yet, maybe it does have merit as a MPSIMS in regards to spooning. > > First, I’m OK with the initial snarky responses. I put it out there. I can take it. I might have replied to the OP the same way. That’s good. There were some great ones! In all seriousness, though… good for you. I don’t know what made you sit down and type that out, but whatever it was, it is clear to this member of the board that you love your wife dearly, and there isn’t a damn thing wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/26 "2011-12-11T02:49:08Z")
> [@R.P.McMurphy](#): > > As the OP I’m a bit embarrassed by this thread. It was late night and maudlin. There are other issues that weigh on my mind. Yet, maybe it does have merit as a MPSIMS in regards to spooning. I’m glad you posted it. It gave me a smile I needed. My hubby and I haven’t been married for even a single decade yet, but we aspire to be in your shoes some day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/27 "2011-12-11T05:48:28Z")
I love this, and love that you shared it. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/28 "2011-12-11T05:58:35Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > I honestly don’t get you guys. Spooning is my favorite position, period. Even for having sex I’ll prefer to be spooning a girl - while kissing her neck, or just kissing her lips - over pretty much any version of missionary, doggy, or whatever. Even with short term encounters, my favorite possision by far is ‘da spoon’. You have to have a pretty long penis to successfully do it while spooning. So, how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/29 "2011-12-11T07:19:30Z")
> [@R.P.McMurphy](#): > > First, I’m OK with the initial snarky responses. I put it out there. I can take it. I might have replied to the OP the same way. I hope you didn’t take my response as snarky. It’s just my sick sense of humor. I wish you well, and yeah, sometimes despite all the worries and troubles we have, just having her there next to you is enough to make it OK. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/30 "2011-12-11T07:39:15Z")
> [@R.P.McMurphy](#): > > She is still very beautiful. I guess that’s when you realize that life can be good. > > No further message. No further message necessary. I’ve been married 41 years, and I know exactly how you feel. . ---
**Author:** ![BeaMyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@BeaMyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeaMyra)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/31 "2011-12-11T10:56:41Z")
But does she like being with you ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/32 "2011-12-11T17:15:54Z")
Please send someone like yourself to the Delaware Water Gap area - immediately 🙂 UT ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/33 "2011-12-11T21:19:52Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > While we’re on the topic of spooning, am I the only person that finds that position (of sleeping or cuddling) to be uncomfortable? I’m a woman and I only like spooning for a few minutes (10ish?) at a time. I’m a fidgeter and need to move around, and I feel sort of “held hostage” if I’m spooning as, say, a position I’m expected to fall asleep in. Then there’s also the problem that my back frequently get sweaty where it’s against his chest and that’s uncomfortable (we both sleep nekkies). And on the off chance that I’m the back spoon–does happen-there’s the problem of the bottom arm. Under the pillow doesn’t always work, and it ends up being in some weird position that gets increasingly more uncomfortable. I love the IDEA of spooning. And I do enjoy it for a little while. I just can’t stay like that for very long. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/34 "2011-12-12T03:18:26Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I’m a woman and I only like spooning for a few minutes (10ish?) at a time. I’m a fidgeter and need to move around, and I feel sort of “held hostage” if I’m spooning as, say, a position I’m expected to fall asleep in. Then there’s also the problem that my back frequently get sweaty where it’s against his chest and that’s uncomfortable (we both sleep nekkies). And on the off chance that I’m the back spoon–does happen-there’s the problem of the bottom arm. Under the pillow doesn’t always work, and it ends up being in some weird position that gets increasingly more uncomfortable. > > I love the IDEA of spooning. And I do enjoy it for a little while. I just can’t stay like that for very long. Nothing wrong with that. The OP was not intended to be judgmental on anybody. The OP was more about being comfortable with someone with whom you have been in a long term relationship with. With all we’ve been through, over these many years, every night I am thankful that I have this person beside me and that person wants me there. Plain and simple, that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/35 "2011-12-12T04:17:49Z")
I love my husband very dearly, and wouldn’t trade him for anyone, and he loves me and thinks that I’m beautiful and desirable and an all-around okay person, but he’s not the most comfortable person to sleep with. We usually spoon for a few minutes, cuddle a little, and then roll over and sleep back to back. (And then he flip flops all over the bed and removes the sheet and tries to steal all of the blankets and snores like a chainsaw. But that’s beside the point.) But your post reminded me: I have an old friend, with whom I had a relationship for a couple of years, after which we went back to dear friend status. He was absolutely the most comfortable sleeping partner ever. Exactly the right height and size and body temperature, no snoring, and the only person I’ve ever spent the entire night in a close comfortable embrace. We are each now happily married to wonderful spouses, but there are still little moments when I miss sleeping with him - not sex, sleeping. But today was one of those days when I was reminded how fortunate I am to be married to my Tony. And I’m glad that the OP has those moments and shared one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/36 "2011-12-12T23:33:12Z")
I like spooning for a little while, but only if I get to be the back spoon. I _hate_ being the front one (I’m female, and apparently weird that way). It never works out, though, because our younger Singapura cat, Ozzy, loves sleeping snuggled up with the spouse and he gets very jealous if his sleeping arrangements are thwarted. He’ll shove his way in, poke with his paw, or just generally be incredibly annoying until we break apart and he can “assume the position.” ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595/37 "2011-12-12T23:43:56Z")
Two of my favorite things ever are slowly falling asleep while spooning, and slowly waking up while spooning. Better yet if it’s cold out, the bedroom is a little chilly, and the flannel sheets are on the bed. Flannel sheets and warm skin are a wonderful combination. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-sleeping-with-my-wife-and-spooning-her-weve-been-married-for-multiple-decades/605595.md?page=1)