# "I Love You." "How Much?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784 "2003-02-04T21:11:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/1 "2003-02-04T21:11:43Z")
“Take every grain of sand on every beach in the world and multiply it times a million, and that’s how much I love you.” “You’ve **used** that one already.” Well, hell. Now what? Anybody got any good ones you’ll let me use? 🙂 Thanks Quasi ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/2 "2003-02-04T21:14:50Z")
Hold up all your fingers: “This many!” Knocks 'em dead everytime. ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/3 "2003-02-04T21:16:00Z")
Sarah McLaughlin sings that “Your love is better than ice cream.” I sometimes say “I love you more than most of my computer games.” which gets me a slug in the arm, but then a kiss afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/4 "2003-02-04T21:23:00Z")
As big as a shark balancing on an elephant which is on top of a castle. As big as a giant sock. As big as the hat that god wears. As big as a two giraffes, one standing on top of the other. No wait. Three giraffes! ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_Schmeese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Marconi\_Schmeese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_Schmeese)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/5 "2003-02-04T21:23:37Z")
Hold your thumb and your index finger up as close together as possible (so it looks like you’re going to say “this little”). Then touch the outside of your thumb and say from here, all the way around the world, and back to here (touch your index finger). I’ve been married _to him_ for a year and a half! ---
**Author:** ![Alto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Alto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alto)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/6 "2003-02-04T21:27:34Z")
I love you vip I love you vop. I love you better than a pig loves slop. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/7 "2003-02-04T21:29:50Z")
My son (age 5) and I have worked out a compromise on the issue. After many long minutes of increasingly outlandish “as much as” as we each tried to prove we love the other more, we agreed to alternate days of who loves the other “the most”. That was his idea. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/8 "2003-02-04T21:32:00Z")
Make an O with your fingers. “Infinately” ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/9 "2003-02-04T21:34:44Z")
What, never read the classic children’s book? “I love you all the way to the moon!” “I love you all the way to the moon … and back.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/10 "2003-02-04T21:52:04Z")
My son used to ask me, “How much do you love me?” and I’d just look around for the biggest thing in the vicinity and say, “See that bridge (or whatever)? Bigger”. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/11 "2003-02-04T22:12:15Z")
“Any way in which I chose to describe how much I love you would look pale and sickly in comparison to the reality” OR, “A whole shitload, my dear” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/12 "2003-02-04T22:22:59Z")
Unless she’s standing in front of the tv or has confiscated the remote just ignore her. she’ll sigh and walk away eventually. ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/13 "2003-02-04T22:23:18Z")
I prefer to think of it in terms of love density, easily quantifyable: 5.669 x 10[sup]-8[/sup] W/m[sup]2[/sup]-K[sup]4[/sup], or 0.1714 x 10[sup]-8[/sup] BTU/h-ft[sup]2[/sup]-R[sup]4[/sup]. May not sound like much, but boy, does it _radiate_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/14 "2003-02-04T22:25:12Z")
ow. ow. ow. ow. note to self: never post evil man-answers when girlfriend is in the room. my arm hurts. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/15 "2003-02-04T22:28:59Z")
put your hands together back to back and say that it’s the distance between your palms—all the way around the world ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/16 "2003-02-04T22:32:58Z")
what’s wrong with “with all my heart”. “as much as it is possibly for one person to love another” also works 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/17 "2003-02-04T22:35:38Z")
To borrow a phrase from Toy Story: “To infinity and beyond!” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/18 "2003-02-04T22:43:57Z")
Gee, **avi8rmike** , that’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Rankine scale used in the context of love! [sub]Come to think of it, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Rankine scale used, well, _anywhere_…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![owlofcreamcheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@owlofcreamcheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlofcreamcheese)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/19 "2003-02-04T23:01:11Z")
I say “13” and she says “why? thats not very many” and I say “well the scale is 1-10, do you know how much trouble it causes to make numbers higher than 10!? you should be happy you got a 13” then she hits me… happens every day… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/20 "2003-02-04T23:26:12Z")
I love you more than flies love manure. I love you _holds fingers 3 inches appart_ unless you are wearing that (insert sexiest item of clothing) when I love you _holds fingers 7 inches appart_. I love you more than cows love grass. I love you more than hippies love grass. Cheers, Bippy [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784.md?page=2)