# "I Love You." "How Much?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784 "2003-02-04T21:11:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/41 "2003-02-05T03:15:55Z")
From my boyfriend’s three-year-old daughter: “Daddy, I love you more than a dog loves his tail.” “I love you more than a whale loves his spout.” “I love you more than a raven loves his treasure.” I think she got it from a book…extremely charming, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/42 "2003-02-05T03:17:32Z")
When I was little, (back when I was still Daddy’s girl,) dad used to ask me how much I loved him. I always said: “Up to the sky and down to the ground.” I have no idea where I got it from, but evidently it just came out one day, because neither of my parents know, either. ---
**Author:** ![Anaxagoras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b77776/32.png) [@Anaxagoras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaxagoras)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/43 "2003-02-05T03:19:19Z")
Am I the only one who considers love an absolute? Binary? Black-and-white? If you do, you do, and if you don’t, you don’t? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/44 "2003-02-05T03:40:11Z")
I love you enough that I would do anything short of committing a major felony on your behalf. I love you so much that I’m willing to stop eating my donut to tell you so. I love you so much that I’m still with you despite the advice of all my friends and total strangers on the street. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/45 "2003-02-05T04:03:57Z")
More than you will ever know. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/46 "2003-02-05T04:19:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anaxagoras \* > \*\*Am I the only one who considers love an absolute? Binary? Black-and-white? If you do, you do, and if you don’t, you don’t? \*\* I’m guessing that you’re a guy. Women tend not to think like that. I’m also going to guess that you’re a computer kinda guy too - either that or you’re an 80-year old zen master. Yep, you’re the only one who considers love an absolute. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/47 "2003-02-05T10:36:04Z")
I love you enough to let you handle the T.V. remote. I love you enough to let you put one of those fuzzy things on the toilet. I love you enough to pick up feminine hygene products for you from the store. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/48 "2003-02-05T12:24:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by owlofcreamcheese \* > \*\*I say “13” > and she says “why? thats not very many” > and I say “well the scale is 1-10, do you know how much trouble it causes to make numbers higher than 10!? you should be happy you got a 13” > > then she hits me… > > happens every day… \*\* [Spinal Tap] My love goes up to _eleven_… [/Spinal Tap]. I usually say “Muchly and muchly”, and she’s happy with that. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/49 "2003-02-05T14:00:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally Posted by FairyChatmom: > \*Typical exchange in FairyChatLand: > > - Love you. > > = Love you more. > > - How do you figure? > > = Just do. > > We take turns starting this conversation. It usually ends with smooching. When I read this, my reaction was both awwwwwwwww…how absolutely sweet and I think I’m gonna hurl. Heck, anything that ends up with a bunch of smooching is a good thing. I’ll bet **The Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup]** has made gagging sounds lots of times after hearing that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/50 "2003-02-05T14:10:11Z")
“Enough to pay all your damn bills,” says I. However, this question does not usually ever come up. I’m not big on poetics and quite frankly I’d rather spend my time considering what kind of beer to buy or whether one of my characters can qualify for a prestige class than putting goopy, flowery words to a feeling. The more regular, “Do you love me?” though, I get every now and then and I have stock answers such as, “I married you, didn’t I?” and “I reckon.” I know, I know … I’m all heart. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/51 "2003-02-05T14:15:47Z")
How much? **holds fingers an inch apart** How much do you love the kids? **holds fingers two inches apart** How much do you love the dog? **holds arms out as far as they can reach** (all tongue in cheek, of course) ---
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/52 "2003-02-05T14:16:01Z")
When I was a child, I loved pumpkin pie…it was my favorite, but I had no idea what it was called. Because of that, whenever I wanted to tell someone how much I loved them, I would say, “I love you more than orange pie!” Flash forward to adulthood. My wife and I have been together for eight and a half years now, and of course, she knows my strange little saying of “I love you more than orange pie!”… Last week, on my birthday, I came home, opened the fridge, and found an honest-to-god orange flavored pie, and on the top, written in whipped cream, was “We love you more than…” That was the coolest birthday treat I’ve ever had! ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/53 "2003-02-05T14:20:25Z")
How much do you love me? I love you more then the last one. (Not a good answer) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/54 "2003-02-05T14:38:33Z")
Said to the bf one evening after he had just given me a big hug and smooch: “I love you enough to **consider** letting you have the last beer.” If that ain’t love, I don’t know what is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/55 "2003-02-05T15:49:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FranticMad \* > \*\*I’m also going to guess that you’re a computer kinda guy too - either that or you’re an 80-year old zen master. \*\* If he were a Zen master, love would never be absolute. If you did love, you didn’t, and if you didn’t love, you did. But the good and bad news is that she would both love and not love you back. I cannot say which is good and which is bad. Or can I? ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/56 "2003-02-05T16:24:20Z")
Her: Do you love me? Zen Master: Wrong. Her: So you don’t love me? Zen Master: Wrong. Her: Which is it? Do you love me or not? Zen Master: Apple strudel (he then whacks her with his stick) ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/57 "2003-02-05T16:43:42Z")
One day at the Zen monastery, student FranticMad finds student miamouse locked in a sensual embrace with local villager. “What are you doing??” asks a shocked FranticMad “Making love, of course.” says miamouse. “But,” protested FranticMad “I asked the Zen Master if I was allowed to have **sex while meditating** , and he said ‘Absolutely NOT’.” “Well,” said miamouse "I asked the Zen Master if I was allowed to **meditate while having sex** , and he said “Of course!’.” ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/58 "2003-02-05T20:03:33Z")
…Enough to astonish the hell outta me. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/59 "2003-02-05T21:19:57Z")
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/60 "2003-02-06T01:08:33Z")
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