# "I Love You." "How Much?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784 "2003-02-04T21:11:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/61 "2003-02-06T05:58:08Z")
You could say what the man said in response to his wife who asked, “Why don’t you ever tell me you love me?”: “I told you once that I love you, and if it ever changes, I’ll let you know.” ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/62 "2003-02-06T07:44:49Z")
My 5 year old daughter says “I love you more than bananas” to which I reply, “that’s easy, you hate bananas”. She thinks this is hilarious. This will then go on with each of us taking turns with all manner of things until one concedes defeat… if she pulls out the big guns and says, “I love you more than mommy” I’m toast. When my three year old daughter says “I love you more than apples and bananas” I know she really loves me. Well, it’s that and the fact she has to wrap her little self around me and puncuate her I love you’s with hugs and kisses. And for Lola… I love you more than I ever thought was humanly possible and yet, I love you a little more each and every day. You are the one I want to share my life with and to grow old with. I love you more than bananas too. ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/63 "2003-02-06T07:48:35Z")
“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave my heart into my mouth. I love Your Majesty according to my bond; neither more nor less.” No . . . on second thought, maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/64 "2003-02-06T08:05:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by miamouse \* > \*\*How much? > **holds fingers an inch apart** > > \ > > How much do you love the dog? > **holds arms out as far as they can reach** > > (all tongue in cheek, of course) \*\* Are you dating my ex-bf, by chance? ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/65 "2003-02-06T08:08:36Z")
three bags full this is the answer at chez baboon. ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/66 "2003-02-06T09:03:36Z")
How much do I love you? I love you enough to keep from killing you when you repeatedly ask me how much I love you. That much. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/67 "2003-02-06T13:14:45Z")
Occasional conversational opener at _chez **Lurk** _: “Do you still love me?” “I haven’t killed you yet, have I?” From there the conversation varies, depending on who initiated it, why they did, or what kind of mood we’re in. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/68 "2003-02-06T13:30:24Z")
**I love you!** _ **How much?** _ **Just enough, but not too much.** I’m not big on saccarine. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/69 "2003-02-06T22:10:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jinwicked \* > \*\*Are you dating my ex-bf, by chance? \*\* No, but I may have married him. I do this more often though, he may say ‘I love you’ at a time when I don’t think I’m doing anything particularly loveable or cute or extraordinary, and I’ll always go ‘Why?’ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/70 "2003-02-07T01:11:42Z")
I love you so much it makes me wriggle. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/71 "2003-02-07T01:35:18Z")
4-\>4-\>4-\>4 times (cf. [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=160835) ) When I asked my last girlfriend this she said “I love you. Remember, I also love chocolate” - no one else tries to answer this question seriously? ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/72 "2003-02-07T04:10:55Z")
My otherwise charming husband’s most recent answer to the how much question was: “Gobs and gobs. Heaps of gobs. I love you heaps of steaming gobs.” Ew. Sorry I asked. ---
**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/73 "2003-02-07T04:19:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Feynn \* > \*\*My 5 year old daughter says “I love you more than bananas” to which I reply, “that’s easy, you hate bananas”. > > She thinks this is hilarious. > > This will then go on with each of us taking turns with all manner of things until one concedes defeat… if she pulls out the big guns and says, “I love you more than mommy” I’m toast. > > When my three year old daughter says “I love you more than apples and bananas” I know she really loves me. Well, it’s that and the fact she has to wrap her little self around me and puncuate her I love you’s with hugs and kisses. > > And for Lola… > > I love you more than I ever thought was humanly possible and yet, I love you a little more each and every day. You are the one I want to share my life with and to grow old with. > > I love you more than bananas too. \*\* The entire story to wrap up with that last line. That was the best post here so far without a doubt… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/74 "2003-02-07T04:23:45Z")
How much do I love you? Let me tell you this. Without you I’m nothing. I’m an anal retentive without a desk organizer. I’m the EPA with an emmision. If you were Brenda Lee, I’d be your number one fool. If you ever went and joined a Lesbian Auto-Mechanic collective, I’d be your “Snap-On” tool. ---
**Author:** ![Anaxagoras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b77776/32.png) [@Anaxagoras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaxagoras)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/75 "2003-02-09T22:10:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FranticMad \* > **I’m guessing that you’re a guy. Women tend not to think like that. I’m also going to guess that you’re a computer kinda guy too - either that or you’re an 80-year old zen master.** Yes, I’m a guy. And I work with computers. And this drives my wife batshit. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/76 "2003-02-10T04:25:36Z")
“Enough to give my life to you.” ---
**Author:** ![senor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@senor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senor)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/77 "2003-02-10T11:33:04Z")
I tell my wife “I love you.” She asks "Why?’ I think that is an honest question. Why do you love me? I state that she is my best friend, she cares for me when no one outside of my family would, that she consumes my heart and soul. That she brings life and light to a normally dark and sad soul. I’m not a big fan of Alan Alda, but someone asked Hawkeye Pierce in M_A_S\*H why he cracks so many jokes. Hawkeye stated that humor kept him from screaming. My wife likes my stupid humor. I am OK today because of that. SENOR ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784/78 "2003-02-10T13:40:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > **The more regular, “Do you love me?” though, I get every now and then and I have stock answers such as, “I married you, didn’t I?” and "I reckon."** Mr. Kitty does a bang-up impression of “Oliver Reed as Bill Sykes” from the movie/musical **Oliver** : “I lives with ya, don’t I?” 😃 [sub]of course, he does a pretty good Zorba the Greek as well… “Are you married?” “Am I not a man? Is not a man stupid? I have the wife, the kids, the whole catastrophe!”[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-love-you-how-much/152784.md?page=3)