# I’m sorry I interfered with your eavesdropping. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 18, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709 "2003-06-18T14:41:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/1 "2003-06-18T14:41:42Z")
What was I thinking? Here I was, walking through the store with my sister, yapping away in the mix of English and Spanish that we use, although this time, since my sister had just returned from a trip to Cuba we talked mostly in Spanish. She was telling me about her trip through the island, the people she’d visited, the places she’d seen, and I was so engrossed in the conversation I didn’t notice you trying to eavesdrop in our conversation. That was inexcusably self-centered. Well, maybe not inexcusably, many things are excusable, for instance I excused the sneer you gave me as you passed by us. I just assumed you’d had stroke or some other malady that had twisted your face into a parody of a Greek theater mask. And since I did not know at the time that your sneering was caused by my own insensitive actions, I hastily put the disturbing image of your twisted, goat’s ass of a face from my thoughts. I must say though that I applaud your thoughtful, though subtle efforts to make us correct our faux pas. There was that time by the meat section when you quite audibly tsk-tsk’d as we passed by, sadly your hint was as deep as the crack between your enormous ass cheeks, and we failed to take notice. It is quite understandable then that when we were standing by the cash register, obviously getting ready to leave, you finally decided that more direct action was needed. I admit I was somewhat taken aback by your approach, not that I fault you for it, we had clearly left you no choice but to wag your stubby finger at us and proclaim for all the world to hear, “Why can’t you people speak English? This is America! If you can’t speak the language just go back where you came from!” Ah, the poetry of it still grips my heart, your ability to wrest from the muses such a lyrical statement in the seconds it took to waddle over to us is a tribute to the many years you must have spent finishing the third grade. And here I must pause for a minute to praise your stunning fashion sense. While it is true that the current fashion trend of wearing low riding blue jeans with a short t-shirt is usually seen in much younger, shapelier women, you brought a certain sausage-like quality to the look that a less generously proportioned woman could never have achieved. Now, along with the apology in the title of this post I must add an apology on behalf of my sister. You see, she’s not as even tempered as me, being younger she still has not grown out of her Hot Tempered Latin phase. While I smiled politely and got ready to thank you for your thoughtful and kind reproach I noticed a wave of heat coming from the general direction of my sister. It seems that, due to her recent return from Cuba, she was inadvertently carrying an overcharge of emotional tension, which she then completely involuntarily unloaded on you. I assure you, she does not really think you are a “skanky busybody”, or an “asshole who should mind her own business”, nor does she really think that “this is a free country bitch, if you don’t like it you should move YOUR ass to Cuba.” Well, maybe that last one she really does believe, but I hope you don’t fault her for it. A final thought, while I do love the English language, I also love Spanish, and frankly there are some things that just don’t sound the same in English. For instance, if I were to call you a shit-eater, while what I’m saying is obviously clear, it just isn’t the same as calling you a “comemierda”, specially if I take the time to really roll that “r”. Or if, God forbid, I were ever to say to you “Hija de puta resingada, me cago en la puta madre que te cago”, I would feel so much better that if I had said “Son of a twice fucked bitch, I shit on the whore of a mother that shat you”. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/2 "2003-06-18T14:51:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Son of a twice fucked bitch, I shit on the whore of a mother that shat you”. ::scribbles furiously:: Hey, thanks for that one! Sorry you encountered an asshole like that. ---
**Author:** ![Fin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@Fin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fin_man)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/3 "2003-06-18T15:05:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bayonet1976 \* > \*\*Or if, God forbid, I were ever to say to you “Hija de puta resingada, me cago en la puta madre que te cago”, I would feel so much better that if I had said “Son of a twice fucked bitch, I shit on the whore of a mother that shat you”. \*\* Far be it from me to question a hot-blooded Latin person, is not “Hija de puta resingada” a “Daughter of a twice fucked bitch”? It’s been a while since I took Spanish but I thought **hija** is daughter and **hijo** is son. However, I’m sorry that you had to suffer the stupidity of a bigoted monoglot ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/4 "2003-06-18T15:17:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bayonet1976 \* > **You see, she’s not as even tempered as me, being younger she still has not grown out of her Hot Tempered Latin phase.** Mmmmm…hot tempered Latin phase. Where does your sister live again? ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/5 "2003-06-18T16:38:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fin\_man \* > **Far be it from me to question a hot-blooded Latin person, is not “Hija de puta resingada” a “Daughter of a twice fucked bitch”? It’s been a while since I took Spanish but I thought hija is daughter and hijo is son.** You of course are completely right, or as my sister would say “mira cacho the cabron…”. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/6 "2003-06-18T16:41:27Z")
Man, I’ve _always_ thought that Spanish had it all over English when it came to articulate, imaginative swearing. Unfortunately, my rudimentary college Spanish prevented me from ever saying more that the obligatory “pendejo,” “ronoso,” “puta,” whatever. A friend of mine used a Spanish insult (not to me, of course) that sounded particularly poetic. When I asked him what it meant, it was something like, “I have a sufficiency and an excess to make all your female relatives scream in both pain and delight.” Man, that’s _swearing_. By the way, excellent post. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/7 "2003-06-18T16:41:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Mmmmm…hot tempered Latin phase. > > Where does your sister live again? \*\* Sadly for you she’s married and off the market, but then again, her husband is now eating my mom’s cooking 3 or 4 times a week. I’d give him a year, maybe two, before his heart explodes from a massive overdose of fat. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/8 "2003-06-18T16:57:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PoorYorick \* > \*\*Man, I’ve _always_ thought that Spanish had it all over English when it came to articulate, imaginative swearing. Unfortunately, my rudimentary college Spanish prevented me from ever saying more that the obligatory “pendejo,” “ronoso,” “puta,” whatever. A friend of mine used a Spanish insult (not to me, of course) that sounded particularly poetic. When I asked him what it meant, it was something like, “I have a sufficiency and an excess to make all your female relatives scream in both pain and delight.” > > Man, that’s _swearing_. > > By the way, excellent post. \*\* Thanks, I do enjoy busting out the insult-o-meter once in a while. And it’s specially rewarding when it’s between Cuban friends. This is a common and accepted practice, as long as mothers, or any female relatives for that matter, are left out. My father loved to drink, and one New Year’s eve one of his brothers told him something, I don’t know what, that pissed him off his reply had me on the floor laughing. So much so I made it my sig here, although I never use it. It was: “Me cago en el año nuevo, me cago en año viejo, me cago en el arbolito, y me cago en tí.” Or: “I shit on the new year, I shit on the old year, I shit on the Christmass tree, and I shit on you.” Poetry, escatological poetry, but poetry nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/9 "2003-06-18T17:08:10Z")
What did Twice Shat Ill-Dressed Woman say after your sister unloaded on her? Which, by the way, was a true jewel of a curse. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/10 "2003-06-18T17:14:47Z")
Assholes make the world go brown ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/11 "2003-06-18T17:20:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bayonet1976 \* > \*\*“Son of a twice fucked bitch, I shit on the whore of a mother that shat you”. \*\* _Someone_ has been watching too many Iraqi Information Minister re-runs. Infidels! All of you! ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/12 "2003-06-18T17:28:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*What did Twice Shat Ill-Dressed Woman say after your sister unloaded on her? > > Which, by the way, was a true jewel of a curse. \*\* I don’t think she was prepared for my sister to be able to understand her, to this point she probably had only heard her speak Spanish. After my sister was finished with her tirade and finger wagging, I grabbed her by the shoulders and ushered her out of there, and as near as I could tell the helpful lady just stood there with her arms on her hips looking a little lost. By the way, I see you’re in Orlando(ish), this happened in the Publix on Sand Lake Road an Dr. Phillips Blvd. So watch out for a befuddled looking woman mumbling abour “furriners” in that area. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/13 "2003-06-18T17:34:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Opengrave \* > \*\*_Someone_ has been watching too many Iraqi Information Minister re-runs. > Infidels! > All of you! \*\* You know, funny you should mention that, whenever I watched that guy I always got the feeling that he was translating literal insults from Arabic, not making up English ones. Which probably means that Arabic is another one of those languages that are wonderful for swearing. Not surprising, considering Spanish/Arabic cultures spent some 800 years intertwined. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/14 "2003-06-18T23:17:30Z")
No way-the best swears are Russian. Man, are they ever FILTHY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/15 "2003-06-19T07:11:01Z")
I’ll back **Guin** (part-way) on the Russian epithets. It’s pretty hard to beat an insult that translates to: “One who is scraped off of the sheets with a spoon.” PS: Excellent rant by the way. Two thumbs way up (the old lady’s butt, that is). ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/16 "2003-06-19T08:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bayonet1976 \* > \*\*“Me cago en el año nuevo, me cago en año viejo, me cago en el arbolito, y me cago en tí.” > \*\* My mom’s favourite is ‘cago en tu leche’ (I shit in your milk), adding the usual pendejo, cabron, pichacorta or coño at the end. 😃 Man, I’ve gotta check out some Russian insults… ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/17 "2003-06-19T12:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by green\_bladder \* > \*\*My mom’s favourite is ‘cago en tu leche’ (I shit in your milk), adding the usual pendejo, cabron, pichacorta or coño at the end. > > 😃 > > Man, I’ve gotta check out some Russian insults… \*\* **green\_bladder** is your mom spanish? Swearing on milk, meaning of course “mother’s milk”, is very popular there. So much so that, to save time I guess, many times this is shortened to just “leche”, and everyone still knows what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/18 "2003-06-19T12:45:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bayonet1976 \* > \*\* > By the way, I see you’re in Orlando(ish), this happened in the Publix on Sand Lake Road an Dr. Phillips Blvd. So watch out for a befuddled looking woman mumbling abour “furriners” in that area. \*\* I work right down the street from there!! And where were you for Orlandope, hmmmm??? ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/19 "2003-06-19T12:59:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*I work right down the street from there!! And where were you for Orlandope, hmmmm??? \*\* Hey, nearly neighbors, at least for a bit. I’m moving to Jacksonville, which I’m going to use as an excuse for missing the Orlandope, yeah that’s it I was house shopping, that’s it, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709/20 "2003-06-19T13:03:14Z")
Didn’t Cecil write a column about the world’s best epithets? I think the 2 best were in Spanish. One was something like “I shit on the five wounds of Christ” and the other was along the lines of “Fuck Christ , fuck his whore of a mother, and fuck the son of a whore who built his cross.” I’m sure someone who loves digging into archives will find that article for us. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-m-sorry-i-interfered-with-your-eavesdropping/182709.md?page=2)